Dearest Sparkle Being,
Today I write from a sunny disposition, smiling like a fool and cultivating curiosity after this past week of freakish stalls delays and uncomfortable mental logjams. Yes I am so happy the universal energy forecast last week was clear about suggesting we chillax– hey you made plans? Fah-gedda-boudit!
But what if your story was all about forging ahead, never allowing yourself a break and seeing yourself as not enough, less than, or entitled to more than is offered in those temporary moments that seem like eternities?
I don’t know about you but I found it all pretty comical mid week where even meditation left the monkeys in my mind still capable of flinging poopy thoughts around while refusing to allow me sleep. Thank God there was only two days of that!
Here is the trick though when all else fails this mantra always works while breathing deeply- “this too shall pass- this too shall pass!” And without fail it does!
So as I teach and try to walk my talk I always do a regular housecleaning of my head and life each week so I get to see the silver lining in the clouds as well as look for any pesky old stories that used to define me come up and try to hypnotize me into thinking my “life is now as it was then”.
Only our stories tell us where we are and where we’re supposed to be and many of them run silently like apps on your phone eating up all your life energy while whispering things like “You are so fat! No one really loves you! There are no good men! Everyone else is getting what you think you should! Where is all the good stuff you’ve worked so hard at manifesting hiding? Who took it? What am I doing wrong? Why is life so hard? OMG Should I move to Sweden?” Waa waa waa
Or sometimes, if you’re committed to changing your story you can go digging to find what might be running so you can turn it off. But first you have to look for it then disable it.
We got Olli’s ashes back last Sunday and it was a moment where I was glad we had to wait to get Annabelle another week. I had to spend time with my grief and my gratitude and ponder a few things. It occurred to me that I am most comfortable being a rescuer.
In rescuing my dogs I had convinced myself that was the only reason they would love me. I was the fur baby hero bringing them to safety and love like no one else. Plus this makes me a very good person right? (I’m being a bit dramatic but really just to make a point).
Annabelle is not a rescue and I realize I am going to pick her up without the rescue agenda. I’m not saving her from anything. She has been home raised and loved and ready for a forever home. She is healthy and happy and playful and holy crap what if she doesn’t like me.
Will offering her love and companionship be enough without there being something wrong? The other shoe doesn’t always have to drop now does it!
If we’re willing to look at ourselves we can see the flaws in our stories but also the humor in them. Even our fears are sometimes just like giant dust bunnies that seem like they can eat us but actually when we look closer can float away just with a sneeze! Ah CHOO!
The danger is allowing the stories to keep playing. Lies and narratives that don’t serve our new evolving selves then drive our choices and behaviors.
No wonder we get confused.
Anyway if you and I want to tell a new story about our life we need to start telling the story in a new way.
Only way we can do that is allow curiosity to lead us since we are all walking into Uncharted territory (subject of my new book by the way comin soon!) and need to remember that the invisible realms are where we draw down the material world and our experience of it.
So I’m going to invite you to tell me about an old story that doesn’t work and a new story that will replace it. Or tell me an old story that you used to tell that you replaced already. Life can’t be the same when you tell a new story about it.
We were blessed with awareness and choice.
I’m going to step into my Uncharted life this week with some courage and curiosity and lots and lots of love.
Pics of Annabelle coming 😉
Sending you so much love and affection. Ok tag you’re it.
So many “old stories” and really just continuing to re-write the script as best I can. Surrounding you all with love and prayers!!
Unknowingly in years pass I let other people define who I was, and worried about what they thought of me. Oh, how hard it was for me to fit in. I don’t mean that I have gone around all my life miserable until now no, not that. This is how I caused all my recurring problems. Now I have learned more to surrender to spirit, and on October 2, 2015, I relocated to Tucson, AZ from Annapolis, MD and now I am telling a happy story meeting new people and starting putting my new story in motion! I am not left out of life, I can be the free spirit that I have always been! Thank you for being Colette!
yay!
Ahhh Colette .. It is beyond description, these blogs you write .. This one really got me .. My story has changed yet again, as stories can. In some parts of my story I was a strong wisdom sharing woman, teaching metaphysics to kids, which grew into leading adult groups, which led into speaking at Unity centres in Canada and the U.S. ..my husband did the music .. We made musical affirmations and shared that too .. In that story I was coming into my power, I had fantastic teachings from Unity teachers, Wayne Dyer ..jack Boland, Catherine Ponder, Joel Goldsmith .. So it was a juicy time full of magical manifestations, as shown through so many positive examples.
The next part of the story, I and my husband, were exploring the idea of growing roots and building community .. In that time I shared willingly the things that I had, I was living in the place where I was sure that I could not out give God .. Which of course is true.. But I began to leak personal power in order to be part of a community . To belong .. So that story went down a slippery slope .. Even though I did great things within those years, I also had leaked power and put my trust in myself to the test ..
Now the story is renewed .. The leaking of personal power is less frequent, because of tools and teachings from wisdom teachers like yourself .. Of course it can happen .. I could have goofy thoughts regarding my self worth, but I did get Crystal’s book, and of course that is helpful too .. The story now is that I am a woman with a mystical nature, that I am working with my authentic story, my gift of simply suddenly knowing, is growing, into a workshop for men women and children alike .. In this story I only know that next step on a need to know basis ! .. I must trust .. A big one ! .. I thank you most sincerely .. Your words to me on the call, they gave me the guts to stay in my lane .. I had no idea then what my lane really was ! .. It found me ! .. When my workshop stuff is done, you will be part of my story ! .. And funny but true, the workshop is for story shifting and it is rooted in the dotting hearts process I peronally do .. Kyle Ceace also reaffirmed to me that it is really ok not to know the next step ! .. Thanks for choosing such good guests on your show .. I have been blessed so many times listening in .. Xoxoxo
Wow! Amazingly aligned with my journey right now. My musings for the day: Today, I need to stop worrying and let go. I am powerless over my addict and my life has become unmanageable. I will turn him over to God and pray for him to find his way to a higher power. I need to replace my fear and worry with faith. It is time for me to imagine my dreams. I need to let go of my dreams for others, as I did not cause it, I cannot control it, and I cannot cure it. It is time for a new story for myself, instead of repeating [his story]. It is time to stop the shame and have an authentic life.
wonderful and we all support you in this sparkling tribe!
Krista, you can do it.. you are worth it and it is an amazing journey, one day at a time! Surrendering is so powerful and beautiful and the lane you can merge into is beautiful beyond your wildest dreams.
namaste dearheart and bless you on your journey
I grew up in an abusive household. I truly believed for a long time that I was the one at fault through it all. Learning to put myself first for once has been scary and empowering. I learned that the past does not have to be the present or future. That there are genuinely kind people out there and that I am valuable enough to deserve that kindness.
amen!
Colette,
Your last two entries have hit really tender spots for me. I lost my Uncle yesterday from cancer. He put up an amazing fight and defied all odds, but ultimately, God and his soul made the decision to allow him to move on. My family and I exhausted every option but it just wasn’t meant to be. I tried to keep my vibration up and my thoughts positive, but I was as careful as possible to cultivate a place of acceptance to ground myself in. The last fight was for a feeding tube and a little extra chemo to try to make things a little better (mostly for us, if we’re going to be truthful). The morning I knew we would hear back from the doctors I settled in to meditation and then read my Wisdom of the Oracle cards. They were freakishly on point. Time to Go, Not for You, Thinker and the Tribe (Reversed) wanted to come along with the Thinker card. They told a perfect story and I understood. Then this past Sunday, I sat in meditation again and I heard my uncle’s voice, like that of guides I’ve heard before, saying something about “So much carrying on.” I felt he was saying he didn’t want a big fuss, as it was making it hard for him. Then this past Wednesday I had an actual waking vision, what I thought was just me thinking up a conversation between him and I, where he spoke to me so clearly in his hospital room. Then later on I found out he was in fact sitting up and trying to talk (he had mini-strokes making it difficult to talk) and that moments before I got to his room he shut his eyes and went back to sleep. I wasn’t surprised, realizing that he and I did in fact talk, just on a different plane. He passed yesterday morning. I was reading a sentence I’d written for his eulogy. I had the most soaring, uplifting feeling in my heart, and then I got the call. All I could do was go back to my bed and sleep. When I rolled over, I remembered again what had happened earlier. A nanosecond of doubt crept in. But then I heard a voice, super soft say to me “Heaven is real,” and then, “Continue to have faith in your gift.” And then the whole rest of the day through today, I have felt the most overwhelming sense of peace. It’s the same feeling I felt in the hospital as I went to spend time with my aunt and cousins (his wife and children) and spoke to them. It was as if someone swapped out my feelings and replaced them with someone else’s. I felt peaceful, grounded, secure. It’s as if I truly don’t know where it came from, but I’ll take it. The reason why I tell you all of this is because in trying to comfort my own parents, I’ve told them some of what I told you. I’m struggling with their skepticism. My mom is the type to go to church every week, yet refuses to believe that we ordinary people can connect with God and our loved ones or that our souls really do continue to evolve beyond the physical and can send signs and signals to those of us still here. The story I’ve been told is that anyone who claims to have these abilities is someone to be looked at with suspicion–they might be crazy or liars or both. They steal people’s money. Well, their own daughter, me, is someone who is returning to her relationship with Source and as an adult is experiencing an opening up of those abilities. I just keep being met with that same old story, that it can’t be me or anyone else for that matter, unless it’s someone “special” like a clergy member or something or that it’s just plain all in my head. I’m trying my best to realize that my spiritual path isn’t required to be theirs, that I need to bring that same level of acceptance to skeptics, but it’s so *hard!* Especially now, as we approach rituals like the wake and funeral. This is the first time I’m going into something like this having truly felt I’ve made contact with loved ones in a clairaudient way (a truly new ability for me as a grown up, I’m using to “knowing” on a gut level or through messages in dreams, not verbal). It brings me this strange feeling of peace when I feel as though I’m being a bad niece by not being super sad. Plus, truly knowing his soul is free to move around…I don’t know how to walk into the room that will have my whole family gathered, as they say goodbye to someone who is already gone from physical form. I don’t know. Have you gone through this same type of story? Has anyone else on here? I’m nine days away from being thirty years old and can’t believe I’m going through this now. I’d welcome anyone’s perspective who has gone through something similar.
Christina, what a wonderful gift you received from your uncle and Source! And yourself, actually. You know, some gifts are for us alone, so it’s okay to hold it close. You’re not being selfish. Or insensitive, as others cry around you and you wallow in your peace and Knowing. Cherish your gift, don’t worry about others judging you, and carry on. I had a few conversations with my uncle, who died suddenly at the age of 50 in a motorcycle accident. I felt as you did, peace and joy and relishing this special connection. It’s all very natural for people like us. The others have to make their own journey. Be grateful that you’re on your path!
Hugs!
Old story: my worth was bound up in caring for my mother to make up for “the trouble” I thought I caused by coming into the world. My family’s life seemed perfect before I was born. But my parents became ill, my father especially so. I was just at the age to think it was my fault.
New story: I am precious to those whom I love and have something worthwhile to offer. I am enough as I am.
I’m working with The Map and I love to visit my landscapes. I thought I had so much stuff unhealed when I started reading and working with the book but no. My subconscious mind has obviously done some real work and I see more and more of the new horizon in front of me. Well, I’ve used my conscious mind too and yes, there still are some Goblins around the corner just waiting to attack me but… Right now it feels really nice 🙂
Thank you Colette! You are a sparkling star!
I have been running a programme for 15 years. I stopped work due to stress, have doubled my weight in this time because fat people are unemployable! (protectionism at its best!!) Last week I really got it and realised that weight is buried emotional pain, and the by choosing to totally release it now by letting this pain go is that I can find joy and happiness and a new or rekindled career and more self awareness and self love – because heart centred business is an all sizes fits paradigm.. Loved the forecast for this week. Thanks
Hi Colette!
Though everyone grieves differently, I’m actually glad you had the extra week to take before getting Annabelle (love that name! what a cutie!) That way you process everything you’ve been through and your role in matters before getting her while also giving Olli respect and honoring her. It helps to start new life with a clean slate 🙂 I really appreciate you sharing your emotional process with the deeper matters of life as it’s nice to know I’m not alone with the way I can process such things too.
I was cracking up at “mind flinging poopy thoughts around…” lol
I’m trying right now not to do that and honestly I’m surprised I’m remaining as positive as I am. I’ve been sick since February 1st and they haven’t figured out what it is. It’s driving me crazy because I want to live regular life again and I’ve never had something in my life where I didn’t know what was wrong and also have it last so long. I’ve never been ill this long in my life ever!
I also know it’s life’s way of making me stop, appreciate and take better care of myself. And not just for a moment, but to keep it consistent (something I haven’t been the best at in the past). Suggesting the saying “this too shall pass” is helping to remind me that the moment won’t last forever though frustrating, so thank you for the wise guidance.
Be well and enjoy Miss Annabelle! 🙂
“Where is all the good stuff you’ve worked so hard at manifesting hiding? Who took it? What am I doing wrong?” That has clearly been my situation since July 2015, as I moved away from Brunei, had a short interlude in Laos and now waiting for the anticipated job offer. Thanks Colette, for bringing it to light. While I have always received what I really wanted, the old story has been “What if it does not happen this time, what if all past successes were simply randoms chances?”. So the new story is “I always get what I need and want. I trust the Universe to bring it in Divine timing and I am safe”.
Thank you Colette!
A week ago I woke up in the morning and remebered my dream. It was about people och co-partners leaving me. If I remember a dream I usually ask the question: What was that all about?
Instantley at the same time I asked the question my divine gave me the answer: You have to Love yourself!
Even if I know this in a mentally based way, everything fell into place. Every people or animal in the dream was a reflection of myself…
Everytime I judge myself, talk negative, think negative or don’t trust, I actually leave myself every time.
This night I dreamt a dramatic dream again. I was in Spane, a man killed a frog, some of my Acting students died and lived at the same time. Well, oh my! I guess my, sometime, dramatic and vivid imagination is the only way my unconciousness can “wake me up” *lol*
I guess (know) I am rebirthing myself to walk side by side with my Divine, Guides and Angels. One kee to that is all you beautiful teachers and you are One of them Colette! Thank you! Kyle Gray is another – beautiful sole!
We are all on a quest with ups and downs – that’s rather exciting!
Love & Blessings to you and your Doggies, from Stockholm, Sweden!
P.s By the way: Moving to Sweden is a really nice story …. 😉 d.s
xoxo/Erica
Thank You so much! Its so right on!
Trying something new with what I have started years ago! I am excited to do this, but like you said step forward even if there is fear of it. And Yes to stay “Out of my Head”.
Thank You for that encouragement!
Much love
Love this.
I have a wonderful feeling about Annabelle, have no worries, she’s bringing in a totally new energy to your life. Gosh I love that! The wowness of how things work out!!
So my new story is to stop hiding myself. It’s always like a big secret I keep from everyone, this gift I have. It didn’t feel like a gift, it always felt like this gargantuan out of my control energy hanging around me that scared the shit out of me 90% of the time. Understanding it now is very freeing but I was still hiding from all the judgers out there, a tiny part of me still is…I need to tell that tiny part that it’s okay.
My old story was one of fear my new story is one of Love! Love is the Spirit within me and all around me.
Reading the other comments on this page and connecting with my own past with a narcissist, abusive mother, reminds me that there is a miracle to celebrate here: We broke the cycle. But so many old dust bunny stories remain in my head! And like dust bunnies they seem to reproduce shortly after a cleanup! One of mine – based on my mother saying things like “You’re the Bad Seed”, “You have no potential” – is “I am a failure.” So I replace it with a question – because the mind loves answering questions. Those new questions are “Why does success follow me wherever I go? How do I get paid SO much for my talent and creativity?” Then tomorrow comes…and a new sweep under the bed and new questions to answer.
Hi Colette,
An old story that I used to tell that I replaced already is that when someone reacts in a way which I deem or term negatively towards me, and for no apparent or valid reason, I no longer ask myself “What am I doing wrong?” I now accept and comprehend that I have no control over other people’s actions. What I do have control over is my response, and not to let it affect me negatively. Today, Spirit and I drew “The Wheel” this morning. Apparently, my positive attitude is dominant and indicative of such…”I have a new attitude!!” Thank you, Spirit!!! I love you!!!
I ‘m starting my new story this week!
I’ve been stuck working at callcenters for…10 years….Oh boy…No matter how hard I was trying,I couldn’t find anything better. Just today as I was taking a shower,getting ready for this callcenter job I just got (which I don’t like and can’t help but wonder why did I applied there to begin with) I realized I HAVE TO BECOME GREATER THAN THIS. I made myself small. I accepted the little jobs and the little wages and I felt small. But now,my new story: I will outgrow this job…this situation… I will become greater than myself to achieve my big goals and dreams!!! So it is!!!
You hit the nail on the head this week! A couple of weeks back I briefly fostered a young dog that was a hot mess. Through the process I realized that at this point in my life I cannot deal with separation anxiety. This also corresponded to things going on with personal relationships, time to rewrite that story.
Wow, Colette. Many of your words this week resonant within my own life and I like how you call the use of your cards a “weather report” instead of a prophecy. This week my life is part of a “regeneration” and before I listened to your video for the week, I experienced a part of the “regeneration” of my life last night at church. A talk was given last night at our church and unknownst to me a State Patrol officer who attends our church had been scheduled to do the service. Towards the end of the gentleman’s talk, he was speaking very intensely that “he believed someone in the audience had been forced into a situation in their past and that this person needed to know that it wasn’t their fault. That the person was a person of value and that God values them. As the state trooper finished his talk, he continued to say the person he was speaking about could come to the front to have the prayer partners pray for them so they could release the guilt that they were holding for so long to God. Well, I was one of those individuals who felt compelled to go forward and I believe that I finally have accepted what happened to me when I was 19 years old attending a Junior College near my hometown, was something that was forced upon me and that I needed to let go of the guilt of the situation that also had been placed upon me for all these years.
Anyway, I look forward to this week and the continued renewal and regeneration that you spoke about from your video for this week. As one commentor mentioned here earlier, I believe I can trust myself and inner being to help take care of myself by setting better boundaries. Thank you, Colette, and your readers for providing weekly insight into the life around you so that others can glean whatever may assist them in their own lives.
Love the picture of your newest dog and it is so freeing to be able to hold ones’ head in a rolled down window to feel the breeze flowing freely through ones’ hair and hitting ones’ face.
Have an AWESOME week Colette and to your other readers as well! Namaste
Reading Krista’s comment, I felt as if I could have written it myself. In the exact same boat. Trying to learn to let go and be the person God intended me to be and not just repeat the same the exact same story that my mom played out with my dad. My mom spent 60+ years fretting, worrying and suffering dealing with my dad’s alcoholism. I am determined to break free somehow of that story that I have now recreated in my own life for the past 19 years. I need to trust in Spirit to lead me to where I need to go so I can rewrite my story with a happy new beginning.
Oh my my my! My memories of my tribe are something out of the movies with everyone helping and laughing in the kitchen and music playing in the background. ..my reality yesterday was spending alot of money on food, cooking and cleaning like a mad woman alone all day, people showing up late with flowers and asking me where the wine was. Then sitting and waiting to be served; giving sideways glances when i asked for help, and even yelling at me for cleaning up the table after dinner and swearing to never come back to my house because they came for a visit and i won’t leave the kitchen and sit down. I know i obviously feel deep down that i don’t deserve the help because of the situation but the pictures in my head when i plan these things is a scene out of the big chill. So tempted to isolate to day but really need to rewrite my friendship story.
I love your blogs. All the best with the new pup.
My old story is, men is/are my Achilles heel. I love being in love. I attract fixer uppers that don’t chose to be fixed. Time and time again I’m used and abused. I know now I can’t fix anyone. I don’t want to fix anyone. I want one that has his shit together. I’ve released my love life to the divine.
Namaste
I, too, grew up in an abusive household. In the past few days I’ve come face to face with my feelings of abandonment whether it was emotional and/or physical and I now see how much I have abandoned myself over and over and over again. My new story is that I will not abandon me regardless of what is going on in my life, anymore! I’m learning to love myself warts and all. I DO have value & worth regardless of outer circumstances.
I rediscovered a book written in 1923 by Frances Scovel Shinn. “The Game of Life.” So interesting that the information in it is absolutely current. Everything old is new again. A lot of the content is about surrender, and trusting a higher source to guide us. “Infinite spirit open the way for the divine design of my life to manifest Let the genius within now be released. Let me see clearly the perfect plan. ” ” I desire only that which source desires for me.”
“Infinite spirit open the way for great abundance to flow to __________. She/he is an irresistible magnet for all that belongs to her by divine right.”
Just a few examples of the way the words reflect that there is a higher plan, and in order to become ready to be invited to participate; we need to become absolutely EMPTY. I believe that I am at that place having tried for quite some time to find the door that will serve the highest and best for all
concerned and remunerate my contribution, energy and time generously. Sounds so easy, but it took a lot of soul excavation to understand WHY?? I wasn’t finding the door. There were many blocks, attitudes and beliefs about receptivity, worthiness, and embracing the idea that there is a divine plan
for my life, and everyone elses’. The timing is always so absolutely divine. So what I am learning is that at just the right moment, something, someone will find its way to me. I don’t have a detailed image of what it should look like, but even those gifts that are very unlike our vision can bring with an opportunity to learn about ourselves and to welcome what might appear “strange” or “uncomfortable”, not right or wrong, good or bad; just a different form from the usual menu.
I have come upon this quotation three times in different books in the past few weeks. . “The place that Source calls you to ; is the place where your deep gladness and the worlds’ deep hunger meet”. Frederick Beuchner
I hope that this is helpful to someone. That’s all the wisdom I have to share for now.
I can hardly wait to be called!!!! Patience Lord, but HURRY!!
XOXO Renee
one of my most favorite books!
Renee:
I viewed your designs and like the abstract and zentangle art.
Art Pow : ) r
Thank you . Colette, your clarity amazes me . I have been thinking about how happy you will be to meet your new baby, Annabelle.
This blog is so on target for what I, too, am experiencing right now. My “old story” has a lot to do with old core beliefs that I am only loveable if I am helping. I have had some strong teachings this week about receiving, allowing, and trusting. I truly don’t know what my new story will be as yet. I do feel my intuition strengthening and I am paying attention to all of the messages I am receiving. I am journalling daily to track all that is coming through. I do feel that I am being cared for. I love the exchanges which happen here. Huge love and appreciation to you, Colette, and to All.
Happy New Puppy week. Looking forward to the pics. 🙂 ♥
thank you and BIG HUG
Colette, are you inside my head? So pleased I took the time to read this today. I was awake at 2:30AM, thoughts swirling in my head, ‘how much longer am I going to have to wait? How come things aren’t coming together? Why is money still such an issue for me?’ and on, and on…you get the picture. While making dinner last night I had run out of propane (I’ve rented my home for 4 years and have only occasionally thought to check it), so I was busy chastising myself for that so I decided to try to make THAT it’s own issue (how much will THIS cost? will they have to get in the house to restart the pilot light? the stove is in desperate need of cleaning, I’ll have to get on that, but I need to get some more SLEEP, but I’ll have to call first thing in the morning…’, I’m really good at this, can you tell? Fortunately I was able to go back to sleep, I called for propane right away (as I heard the garbage truck going by and realized I forgot it was trash day and the garbage can was not at the curb), got the propane situation managed and found out how much that’s going to cost…then I read this.
I had already starting turning it around and changing my thoughts about the situation. First, everyone forgets. The trash can was not overflowing so one more week of trash is not an issue, and I DO have the option of going to the dump on Saturday if I have to. #2, I will be billed for the propane, I don’t HAVE to pay for it when it arrives today (although I can if I have to and that is a HUGE improvement over my financial situation at this time last year), so, breathe, relax, drink your coffee and be grateful. The sun is shining, it’s going to be a dry, warm day, I have a roof over my head, my children are healthy and normal, you get the picture. Yes, that train stops here, but I have a choice. I don’t have to ride it. And I DID have the dispatcher at the propane company laughing when I told her, in addition to forgetting to check the propane I had forgotten to put the trash out, so at least things were consistent around here! Life is funny if I choose to make it so. Thank you for the reminder. Things may not be the way I want them to be, and my ‘perfect life’ may not have manifested according to my plan just yet, but, there are many small victories and I am one lucky chick!
My old story starts running when I come across old pictures of me when I was young. As I look at her I think what the blank where you doing with your life. I feel sometimes that I wasted time . I should have been improving my life. But then I see my life worth more now and I am doing what I came here to do on this Beautiful little blue planet. My life has changed so much. I now work with helping the elderly. I have to amazing private clients and love being with them. Just to see them smile makes me so happy. I have a good life here on Vancouver Island. It is a dream come true to live in such a beautiful place. My little companion Honey came into my life. I have wonderful friends and have everything I need in Life. You have helped me so much to understand that life is tough sometimes but I have learned to just roll with it. It does pass and you pick yourself up and start all over again. I am so greatfull to the Creator and all my Gaurdians. And I feel that you are one of them. May The Blessings Be. And thank you again for being You.
My parents were physically abusive, especially my dad. He liked to draw blood. Even though I was an excellent student and well-behaved and never got into trouble, I was never good enough in their eyes. No hugs, no “I love you’s” or pats on the back for doing so well. Just criticisms and beatings. I never knew what love was and even though I knew I was a smart kid, I always felt that no one else could or would see my worth or treat me fairly. I felt I was not enough.
It’s taken a long time, but I now am a counselor as well as doing card readings and akashic record readings for others, and I am able to help people who have been where I was. There is nothing better than to see the change in someone and to know I was able to help in some way. Maybe I needed to experience the beatings and lack of love in order to be of service to others.
Thank you Colette for your wonderful weekly blog and reading. I do so look forward to it.
xoxox
Ok. So the past two weeks I’ve had serious worry and trauma due to my horse seriously falling ill. Every day I was filled with adrenaline and worry. So of coarse I always listen to my cards but by the end of a rough very two weeks the guidance they gave me were invaluable. But….. lol I got a little dependant and they still were helpful. They finally came right out and said. Fate. The prayer that goes “God grant me the serenity to except the things I cannot change…well yeah. As soon as I relaxed and let “Jesus take the wheel” another lol. Things worked out the way they were going too. Sometimes we have to take a deep breath and try not to get to caught up in trying g to control the circumstances. 🙂
I used to embrace a male model of power – looking at the problems, dissecting them into pieces, creating steps from the problems, pushing, forcing, controlling until I got what I wanted. What I got was exhausted! I looked for answers in a feminine model but ended up surrendering too much, and waiting. My new story is living my life in Curiousity and Creativity. I feel empowered and whole, a kind of grounded sense of being able to create life and meet challenges with an openness and strength rather than fear, worry and doubt. You know there is room for humour and laughter now…I mean we are so funny at times, believing everything that crosses our minds. I love how the mindset of curiousity is open yet anchored in what is. I’m just at the beginning of receiving feedback from Life so I’ll let you know how it goes 🙂
thx Colette, for your authenticity and sharing your experience. I have shifted my ability to relate to myself in so many ways as a result!
xx
Ellie
so great
Hi Colette,
So happy about your Annabelle. I went healthy pet this time, too, after my little Missy passed away (the rescue). I think we have to whittle down the heartbreak in our lives if we can. I just lose it when a pet is sick. So healthy little Miss Cleopatra has been entertaining us and providing about a laugh or two a minute, a crazy little kitten. And as always, she is my animal teacher.
So excited about your new book. Can’t wait to read it. You are a wonderful mentor, and I thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
Love you,
Cathy Corn
im starting to rewrite my old story from a different perspective. instead of from a victim viewpoint to one that I was in a long lesson to freedom. Im going to write it as the observer and im starting a new chapter as of now!
thank you
First, I was so happy about the warning of last week. I did just that. Held everything and anything, the energy was just really wicked and I didn’t know which way to go.
Still working on letting go of my old story of, why am I here when I want to be over there. But learning to just take one day at a time right now, saying the positive affirmation about looking forward to everyday in anticipation and with joy. And what helped me through last week was the sentence from the course of miracles: God is my strength in which I trust.
Have a wonderful week, so looking forward to the pictures of Annabelle!
Hi Colette
I always love to read your blog. Sometimes it resonates and sometimes not, but this week was spot on. I have been trying to rework my life after retiring from a high stress job in healthcare (32 years) and moving to a new country home 1.5 hours north of where we lived for my entire life. I have no siblings, my parents have passed, my kids live in BC, the in-laws are in Ottawa so my husband and I are starting over in a new area, with no familiar faces. There is a community centre that we go to but it is difficult, at my age, to just approach strangers and say “Hi how are ya?” I have been in this situation before when I was much younger, once in a new high school, once in university and once when i started a program at a community college. Every time I was out of my comfort zone and I had to meet a whole new set of people, and make new friends. Now I am there again, but this time I am 59 and the pressure is less to get out of the house and socialize. I have to actively get out of my comfy TV watching chair and be present. So this week I called a neighbour, who I have briefly talked to and invited her and her boyfriend for dinner. Baby steps!
Thanks Colette!
always baby steps 😉
As always, you strike such a chord within me! I too feel most comfortable being a rescuer – my kitty fur-babies. I was raised by a martyr to be a victim and for decades lived that role. Being given up at birth into an alcoholic family, I didn’t trust myself or anyone else with all that I’d seen and been thru. In my soul, I know what it feels like to be unwanted but thru learning awareness from teachers like Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson and You, it grew into my life’s purpose! I rescue cats who have been abused or have special issues and I feel in my soul how much love these beautiful blessed creatures share with me and I am blessed for it every single day! Much Love and MANY Blessings!
What a journey this is for me at this stage of my life. All my life I have been the fixer, doer, coordinator, rescuer and the ‘rock’ in my family. I have come to realize that my ‘time-for-me’ has never been there. Never even noticed that I was entitled to ‘me-time’. Time for me meant i had time to do for others! I struggle with this change and ask spirit on a daily basis to give me the strength to change my story (the old tapes from living in an extremely dysfunctional environment and having to rescue everyone). I am working on a dream project I had 20years ago when I didn’t think I deserved to persue (no time/no money) and honestly……… I struggle with the self-commitment to honour myself (my dreams) and say ‘no’ to other distractions. I have promised myself to continue with this commitment as scary as it feels to enter this unknown territory. I follow you daily and you are a blessing for me. Wisdom of the Oracles are giving me insight that this is where I need to be. Bless you Colette for all that you do for everyone ! I love your vulnerability and honesty in sharing with us. You truly are a gift.
big hug!!!
I have PTSD from childhood trauma, and while my psychiatrist says that I will always deal with the after-effects to some degree (just like a physical trauma), I’ve begun steps to face into this and heal. The “apps in the background” dictate too much of my life. Consciously, I don’t see myself as a victim. Subconsciously, I am always on high alert. I’ve just begun to see how this colors every part of my daily life. It’s scary to move from “survival” to “thriving.”
Thanks for these blog posts ? Can’t wait to see pics of your new pup!
Hello Collette! We have crossed paths in Hampton, NH. I also own and steer my own Harley!! I love connections;-)
Are you sure the other shoe doesn’t have to drop?!? I am a 50 year old widowed grandmother that has lived for my family!
Forging a new path into uncertain territory is sometimes paralyzing! Which way? Which way??
Thanks for your words of wisdom and insight!;-)
Correction. The author of “The Game of Life” , is Florence Scovel Shinn, (not Frances)
It was a defining moment in the life of a 5 yr old girl. Grandpa had given her a terrific flashlight! All shiny chrome and long with 3 “D” cell batteries. It was heavy and almost as long as her arm. Did I mention it was shiny? She was so excited to have this—plans of hiding under the covers reading her story books started to take shape immediately. She slept that night hugging it tight. The next morning she took it to breakfast and to the bathroom to brush her teeth and snuck into the closet to turn it on in the dark and dancing with anticipation of staring into that bold light again in the night.
Her younger 4 yr old brother was jealous. The morning of the next he tried several times to take it away from her. She wasn’t letting it out of her sight, already knowing how mad the brother was the minute Granpa gave it to her. He finally found his moment.
The little girl had put the treasure down to play in her favorite corner with her dolls. She always loved to crawl into cubby spots to play. When she had everything arranged she went back to get her flashlight. Her brother had it and began taunting her with it. The mom was on the gossip line telephone and didn’t want to be bothered with the ruckus. The brother was strong and the little girl wanted her treasure. A struggle ensued. Physical struggle as they both had a strong grip on it. Finally the little girl gave up and let go and,sobbing, went back to cuddle with her Raggedy Ann in the corner.
The siblings were yelling at each other, of course, and as she turned around to look at the brother he yelled “fine, here have it”.
It sailed across the room as he flung it in her direction. Spinning her way it got closer and closer until it hit her above her left eye, knocking her back. Blood gushed as the skin split open.
The mom screamed into the phone, and started yelling at the bleeding child. This would require stitches. Back to the phone for the emergency room visit and a neighbor had to drive. Not many 2 car families in the ’50’s –and dad had theirs.
The ER was a torture chamber of needles and white uniformed nurses and stiff coat doctors. Through the cloudy vision of a wounded child, screams were the only release for fear. All she could do was writhe around and struggle as best as she could to keep the implements of more pain away from her. The mother held her down.
Fast forward through the next 30 years. The little girl was always reminded of that day. Not because of her injuries, but because she was held responsible for a miscarriage the mother had. The mom revisited that day every time new people came into the family life. Even well into the adult years of the little girl.
For a gift for her 40th birthday, the brother apologized and admitted the flashlight was hers.
Now that little girl is 67 and, yes, she is me. I carry this with me still as my mom never let it go – it just haunted me even though she hadn’t brought it up in some time.
That day I felt betrayed and unloved by my mom. She may have been pregnant, but what would a5 yr old know when the mom wasn’t showing and was only suspecting she was pregnant.
There is a pain in my back that I remember being with me all my life.
I am involved in the 8th World Tapping Summit. In the first session a memory came to light — of that day. When the flashlight struck me I fell back words against a window sill. That injury was over looked in the frantic activity to close the wound. And I’d forgotten the full impact as time went by, being only reminded of what I did and caused and that I should not have fought to keep what is mine.
great story… and the next post
Ooops! Hit submit by mistake.
Bringing up the full memory of that day has allowed me to redefine the events. The understanding of the continuous pain in my back has allowed me to connect with its source. Finding the source has allowed the the dust broom to do its job. Knock out those cobwebs and dust bunnies. TAP IT OUT!
Yay–Annabelle should be with you!
she arrived and her name is now Bisou!
Whisperer!
L : ) L
Kiss-kiss
cheeky
LOV : )
Love reading your blog, Colette – and seeing your card readings/videos. I have my own set of the beautiful Wisdom of the Oracle cards, but your readings are much more insightful than mine.
I am glad Olli is ‘back home’ with you all now. Having their ashes back is an important part of the process for me. I wish you all the best with Annabelle.
Onto my story. To cut it really short, my old story can probably be summed up in two words … ‘not enough’. My childhood left me with very low (if any) self-esteem. I don’t remember my parents ever telling me they loved me. I never seemed to be able to do the right thing, even though I was a clever, quiet child who did very well in school and never got into trouble. My mother told me she wished I had never been born, that I had ruined her life, forced her to stay with my father by being born etc. It took until I was about 30 to move away from that whole relationship.
I went through the same ‘not enough’ feelings when my marriage ended a few years ago. I felt I wasn’t young enough, outgoing enough, talented enough, strong enough. I felt I was too old, too sensitive, too depressed, too wanting to stay home with my dogs.
That’s my old story and I can’t say I’ve entirely said goodbye, though I have certainly put in the work over the last few years and I do feel a different person – well more my true self – these days. I live very happily with my beloved rescue dogs and I am trying to overcome my current financial worries and keep in mind my biggest dreams, of living in a wonderful property with land where I have my long wished-for animal healing/photography centre/sanctuary and retreat space. Most probably think I am mad for dreaming so ‘high’ when my current reality is so different, but I’m not sure where I’d be without my dogs and dreams. I do believe in magic and miracles x
Then my marriage ended a few years ago after a 19-year relationship. I
Oops. Ignore the last sentence. Thought I’d deleted that bit.
Thank you for all the encouragement you’ve been sharing! I had a giggle when I read “OMG Should I move to Sweden?” because I’ve actually had a similar thought to that 🙂 This week’s blog has given me good & positive words of inspiration to keep me pointed North, even if I’m not totally certain where that will lead me.
Really needed these words this week. Love your work & thank you for being in our lives!
Had a big ephipany about 2 years ago, which revealed how a trauma when I was 10, affected all my choices for the last 50 years!!! Including giving up on me and my dreams, thereby keeping me in a sad/restricted, ‘Groundhog Day’ kind of place. I was wondering how to move forward, having made this discovery but one idea that comes to mind is to tear up the book of disappointments and excuses and just do it, whatever ‘it’ may be – start writing the new version of my life now! : )
I love Collette’s blog and my cards. However, reading these comments and thinking on her musings compels me to write now. Most here are dwelling on their internal healing for issues that plague their relationships with others or their own “Private Idaho” as the B-52 song goes….It seems to me that these readers need to understand they ARE the 1% of the world that have food, shelter, a place to sleep, access to books or internet or information…that they have running water, electricity, arms and legs, resources to support having PETS, and the actual ability to move about and live as a human being.Not only that, but spare time to hang out on the internet for enlightenment. The other 99% are carrying&heating water in buckets to bathe, search for food, negotiate thru systems of Welfare, Healthcare, Social Security, Disability, Veterans Administration to name a few, just to exist for another day. While I have a small home, my hours are spent cutting coupons, getting a ride to local foodbank, hours on hold to get on a list for help with something as simple as 3 stairs to get into my shelter. The excruciating pain of one small thing like a broken tooth can feel mighty small when you are in line next to someone with no legs, or a woman with 3 small children who cling to her pale and subdued by hunger and apparent malnutrition. Makes much of our bellyaching seem mighty privileged. When the mainstream media continues to present America as rich and exceptional, one hopes that writers like Collette stir in us the gratitude and understanding of what really matters.
beautifully written.. we all need to remember what’s important..
Thank you Colette and all who wrote for sharing your humanness in such an honest, vulnerable way. It was so helpful and I had several shifts from reading the blog and comments.
For me the new story is about men. In the past when a man looked at me, a hard defensive edge came up and I would snarl a bit and think, “what are you looking at?” In my family of origin women were treated to a certain degree as jokes, servants and sex objects. I grew up being almost completely ignored by my father so I never felt worth being looked at. Well…. drum roll…. this week I felt some miraculous shifts. I felt drawn to go to some public places alone and had experiences of men looking at me and my heart stayed open. I was able to receive their glances warmly and found myself smiling back with a genuine feeling of love. I allowed myself to be seen and to see them! That felt so wonderful! Last night I dreamt that I was in a beautiful new relationship with a man. At the end of our first evening together out sailing on the water, he looked at me and said, “This has been a very respectful evening.”
I am so happy but I’m realizing that more so than the healing with men, it feels so wonderful to experience this open, loving heart in my chest 🙂
Much love,
Kathleen
That’s lovely to read, Kathleen – wishing you all the best. It can be hard to keep our hearts open, I know from experience, but I think self-healing is so important for us and those we encounter in our lives.