Dearest you,
It’s been one of those weeks, where the chasm between suffering and celebration has been highlighted in my life. The questions as an empath I’ve had to learn to ask myself, and then teach others to ask in my work with intuition is “Am I feeling my own feelings, or am I tuned into the anxiety, fears and suffering of others? Can I discern between what is mine to work through now and what belongs to a past situation still stuck in my body? Can I participate in both grief and celebration gracefully and respectfully without losing myself in one or the other? Can I manage my rage and anger productively?
It’s the first time in quite a while where I’ve been feeling like I’m fully on track with my life, in a state of joyful surrender sprinkled with a healthy ambition, well rested, and excited about creating new classes and workshops centered around my new book Uncharted coming out end of September (stay tuned for an awesome pre-launch with wonderful freebies). I’m launching my Oracle School next year too and excited about certifying Intuitive Oracle Card readers. I’m collaborating on new music and what can I say – I am in my element when I’m co-creating and in service to helping others find their purpose and their joy.
With the stress of our dog Olli getting sick and dying of brain disease earlier this year, then all the work that piled up and me having to cut back on my work regardless of the pile up, which triggered my Bag Lady and Chicken Little goblins to get hypervigilant! So needless to say I had a lot of anxiety and fear that came up for healing. I started to spend more time mentally in places that were not a vibrational match for how I wanted to live my life.
So I went back to basics to clean the nasty bugs that had accumulated off my windshield to get clear that although the roads would sometimes be rocky and even dangerous it was still my job to remain in a state of discernment lest I give into reaction.
It is always my job to stay awake and spiritually aware no matter the conditions.
I’ve been so aware that to expect only miracles and no suffering has been the biggest load of horseshit the New Age has ever dished out. Or maybe it never did and that some teachings just left a whole lot out and it was easier to believe in the white washed version of life and “ascension”.
So FYI if you’re having trouble with the current state of the world and falling prey to more and more bouts of spiritual narcolepsy perhaps my summer reading list can help you with that.
I’ve gone back to revisiting all the material that I basically snorted 30 years ago when I began this awakened journey. I’m reading Science of Mind by Ernest Holmes, The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity, and The Dynamic Laws of Prayer by Catherine Ponder and one of my favorites Working with the Law by Raymond Holliwell. I also have all the Seth Materials piled up by my bedside and in my Kindle since I started channeling the chorus of voices that like to call themselves Fred,(that’s a whole other story – you’ll have to wait for my book!), and last but definitely not least Marianne Williamson’s latest From Tears to Triumph – a must read for all.
So what happens when your life is going really well and then all of a sudden something horrific happens that affects you or someone close to you?
It’s not easy to allow both experiences to exist simultaneously. The paradox of this world is constant and ever requiring us sensitives to be discerning about how long we remain in a reactive state and to be aware of the source of the reaction. It may not be what you think!
As a card carrying straight LGBT supporter I have been painfully aware of the sensitivity that my gay friends have needed right now while the Pride week parades have gathered in a tenuous blend of celebration and grief. When we’re traumatized we need one another even more to feel connected. Terrorism’s core purpose is to sew seeds of hatred and fear at the core of communities, and its done systematically and randomly to make people feel unsafe in their day to day life but when a community is stronger than the fear … well.. it will never split this community apart.
But, I’m rambling now. I’m just hyper sensitive to this kind of hatred, given I come from a family with core memories of being killed in concentration camps, and perhaps my own past lives of being burnt at the stake, and the recent trolling on my Facebook page tour ads by some people who believe all mediums are devil’s spawn.
Important not to take this world personally.
Who decides what you believe? Is it group think? Religious or Political dogma? Peer pressure? Your own fears? Is it Personal experience or something you were told therefore it must be true? Is your reaction because of something that is happening right now or because it’s rooted in so much of the past your body just wakes up screaming that that past thing is happening right now and you can’t think you just need to fight or run?
I spent 2 days in rage this week. Yup I am going to admit this. I was in blinding rage and deep grief right in the middle of all the awesome stuff and on top of the other layers of conditions – all of which are real and true and meaningful.
The rainbow flag became the rainbow bridge in short order.
My friend Althea had called me at 4 am to tell me her little dog died.
He died because he spent 5 days in a kennel in Santa Fe where the staff left him in a cage unattended and I won’t tell the details here because they were so awful to imagine but suffice to say this was a case of gross negligence and animal cruelty. No animal deserves to die the way this little guy did.
This is a hot spot for me- animals- and Althea is my family, plus I knew the little pom- a happy healthy, affectionate little sweety pie.
Thank god for the voice on the phone that says “ if you’re satisfied with your message please press pound”. I don’t want to spew more hatred even if I do for a minute.
Caught red handed.. erase, delete, erase.
I kept praying for the right use of this anger and then we all began to come together- the mutual friends, all of us animal lovers gathering into a community of love and support to bring whatever we could to the table to ease the pain of the suffering for our friend and to find a path to justice for Chu-Chu.
Did this erase everything else going on? No. It was more important for us to show love than hate- to show support than to show rage- to connect through compassion instead of to separate and destroy. Anger is good fuel but it needs to be filtered and directed for good.
This is one story among many stories that are very much alive for me right now.
No matter what.. life will happen, suffering will happen and we mustn’t shy away from that. Yet Miracles can come out of the mud and can co-exist with suffering too.
Life is a complicated hair- ball.
In the moment we can’t find meaning, but if we allow the experience to move through us, allowing for the locusts on our windshields to temporarily blind us, but then wiping them off to continue the journey- we will find meaning beyond our expectations.
We just need to never give up.
So I’m going to ask you to share your paradoxes. What’s been challenging and scary and maybe painful but what has simultaneously been positive and life-affirming? Can we respect both? How do you remain in balance between the two?
Ok this was a long one so kudos to you if you read the whole thing through!!
Love, Light and Rainbows..,
Love you always and forever!
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY
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I was going to comment last week but ran out of time – darn musical chairs. 🙂
There is so much good in my life I really can’t complain, yet…I do, because there are things that don’t seem so good. I have been without a paycheque for 3 years and have been living off my savings – which I am extremely grateful I have but at some point the money is going to run out if I don’t find another source of income (yes I realize this is a belief that isn’t serving me)…even though I know Spirit has my back and is my supply and everything is totally under control and the way it should be, I can’t seem to help worrying about how I’m going to live if I can’t figure out how to make some income – and 9-5 just creates more stress and health issues so I do need to be creative. Signs, cards, psychics, and life in general keep indicating I need to slow down, and I feel like I’m in the middle of nowhere and have no map or means to guide myself forward as I don’t even know where forward is!
Thanks for sharing with us, Colette, so we don’t feel so alone. 🙂
thank you for sharing too!
I look forward to reading your blog every week and appreciate that you open yourself up and share yourself with each of us. I could relate to a lot of what you wrote this week. I was terminated from my job last week, which was shocking because business wise I was doing very well, however Spiritually and emotionally I was not in a good place. My Ego kept me in this position and in this environment even though I knew I wasn’t happy. I also just started an intense workshop the day before this happened. I have a lot of shadows coming to the surface and fear on how I will make it. It has been terrifying and overwhelming but my inner self knows Spirit is working this out for my highest good. I feel like I’m coming back to who I truly am, reconnecting with myself and learning in a whole new level. Releasing the old and knowing what I want to create. I too feel like I need to get back to the basics that somehow I quit living and need to reimplement in my life. I am also aware that my purpose and passion is to help others and I’m ready to make some changes and move in that direction. All the scary stuff is helping me get in touch with myself and motivating me to make a change for the better at the same time trusting that Spirit has my back through all of this.
thanx for sharing Liz.. the miracle is still coming!
I find it very difficult lately. I was raised in a very Dutch reformed church and thought I had conquered all those old scare tactics of physics, tarot cards. Recently I turned the death card as my third card. Don’t like that card and for that reason I had avoided any decks with it in it. I was very upset and still having a hard time turning off those old whispers in my head. Always worry about my children and grand child and one on the way. Worried because hubby just lost his high paying job to Mexico. I was very sure this was not going to be permanent and was doing a good job of letting it go but I’m back to the negative thinking. All theses debts and worry. Meen while trying very hard to grow my own gifts and was not doing to bad. Had a bump in the road when I realized a very popular physic was constantly earging us to take more courses. Spend spend spend. I believe is losing her truth. So here I go again. I’m hoping that I can get back on track and hoping that’s what the death card meant. Love all the information and hope some day to give back. Wishing you all well!
So many spiritual chapters in my life yet I’ve enjoyed hearing from you for a while. I started with your books and occasionally use your cards. Your sharing keeps me a float right now. Sorry for your losses and pray your kindness is returned. (=
Your creativity is awesome!
First, so glad you’re feeling better, rested and hopefully recharged it’s great to see that even Colette needs to wave that white flag for a time out not a surrender but a time out! 🙂 Thank you for being a supporter of the LGBT community and bringing the awareness of the issues that are attached! The Oracle reading you did last week was spot on, I couldn’t believe it! I had the Regeneration of an issue that was brought up about land and my late fathers estate and didn’t want anything to do with it after his passing so i just ignored it, well late last week I received a surprise phone call from a family friend who called me about the Estate and said I really need to deal with this, if not for me then my family and Dad. So you were right, something had to die out or go to sleep and it’s renewed because I now feel more comfortable with the new approach on this. Right now I am just juggling way more then I should on my shoulders and hands, making healthy unhealthy decisions and am so afraid of the fall because after building myself up for the last four years I thought I had it all straighten out on the golden platter!! Best wishes Colette and Community I hope your weeks is as excellent and beautiful as you all!!
BIG hug thanx for sharing!
Thank you for the reading recommendations! I needed something to show me a place to start healing this week. A week of paradox…this week the severity of my depression has surfaced and renewed a desire to find the healthier, happier, “release all attachment” version of myself. I’ve been aware of how hard things have been for everyone around me living in my depression shadow and feel like I’ve been making a sad half-assed attempt at healing. In all of my bouts of spiritual narcolepsy, my spouse finally had enough and took a much needed break from my negativity. I’ve needed a motivator to jump in with two feet and face my depression and boy did this heartbreak light that fire. I’m going to face the next week with healing as my only focus and remember that when I love myself, it will flow into all areas of my life. Peace & Love, and no heartbreak!
big love.. xoxox
Hi Colette,
I didn’t see your forecast last week but saw it today for this week.
This resonates with my life very much at the moment. I’m caught in a paradox of excitement to get back to my true self but going through all the emotions of sadness, grief, anger and frustration for making the changes in my life that are needed to get back to my authentic self. I’m separating from my husband after nearly 16 years of marriage and 22 years together. We have two kids and let me tell you it’s pretty darn tough. I am very fortunate in that we are not angry or fighting and I have the utmost respect for my husband but I am making this change o due to strong inner guidance. I have had blantant signs and synchronistic things happen that are too loud to ignore validating for me that I’m on the right path. I am a very spiritual person and was always made fun of (by my husband) for having those spiritual beliefs. I ended up keeping this part of me a secret and didn’t share this part of me with him. I’ve also explained this to him for several years that it bothered me that I cannot be open and honest with him about this part of me. Also in my marriage I was subtly controlled and sometime blantanly controlled. Eventually I lost who I was making changes to me to please others. No more!! I want to be the funny, quirky, happy, carefree person I used to be. I’m going to therapy to help heal and deal and I love it. The future possibilities excite me but is it difficult and scary? Absolutely!! I know I’m being guided to something better. A life where I can live freely to be my authentic self. I am reading a book called “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” recommended by my therapist and I’m learning to turn my fear and pain into power. It requires HUGE amounts of awareness and self adjustment. BUT…..I’m learning and I’m living. Peace to you for all your work. Hope to make a difference myself someday just like you.
you have made a difference already my dear – sharing here.. so we can all be part of xoxooxox
Hi Catherine.
I just want to say that your post helped me process something I’m going through. So thank you for sharing.
Oh wow Judy that’s amazing!! Thanks for telling me. Stay strong and true to yourself. That’s what I keep saying to myself. I’m loving me again and it’s wonderful. Hugs to you 🙂
Okay I’m SO excited about the sychonistic signs I’ve been getting that it’s too exciting NOT to share and I know you will appreciate them.
The signs of validation I’ve been geting are from license plates believe it or not. I’m awake and aware when I receive them and very grateful.
On one particular day I’m having some self doubt about my decision to leave and I think “no, you know what? I’m free to be me now.” Just then a car pulled out infront of me with the license plate “FREE2SOR”. Really? I chuckled to myself and gave thanks for the validation. I get it! I acknowledged it and thanked my angels for the message.
The very next day I left the lawyers office feeling angry and frustrated and discouraged and I pulled myself together and said to myself I could have a totally different life when this is all done and I’m settled. I pulled up to a red light and the license plate of the car infront of me read “NEWROOTS”. Really? Ha!! Yes that is awesome! Thanks again Angels.
I’ve been told before that I too was burnt at the steak for being a “witch” in my past life. Went to a reading recently where this came up again and when I left…..you guessed it I saw another license plate. This one read “witchway”.
OH and one last thing…when I responded to your blog I drove away remembering that you wrote about “Fred” or as I remember you calling it “Quantum Fred” – I reminded myself that I am not alone that there is a higher power helping me. Just then a car pulled out infront of me with the license plate “FREDHLPS”. HA! Seriously I can’t make this stuff up!!! Totally loving all the signs and oh so grateful. I say keep em coming. I love all the validations and confirmations. It lifts me up when I’m feeling down. you love Isn’t this awesome!!??
Hi Catherine, just wanted to send some positive vibes from someone else who has been in a similar situation and is also wanting the funny,quirky,happy carefree person show herself ….. I’m not “there”yet … Wherever “there” is !!! But I am finally begining to relax into the ride ……. Phew ? Love to you on your path ❤️
@Karen – thank you so much for writting this and for the positive vibes. Right back at ya. Be kind to yourself and do the things YOU love to do. Love to you on your path too. Remember to enjoy the journey of getting “there” wherever “there” is. Cheers!
Catherine,
I went through a very similar experience three and a half years ago now. It was the toughest thing I’ve ever gone through (divorce after 20 years – three kids), but it was the most rewarding as well. I have recently met a man who is very spiritual, and we are traveling this wonderful path together. Trust that your joy will be abundant when you clear out that negative energy once and for all! XXXOOO
Susan
@Susan – awe thank you!!! And congrats on meeting this man of yours. I have faith that I will have the same spiritual connection with someone and an abundant life. I just KNOW it. Hugs xoxo
Thank you Colette for keeping it real and authentic. That’s been my theme as of late – keeping it authentic. Honoring all the mixed feelings of joy, grief, relief, peace of purchasing my first home – a lovely, peaceful condo. The grief comes from missing my dad who passed a couple of years ago and this being the first big life event since his passing. Plus, not being able to bend his ear about home improvements and repairs. Joy in finding a quiet, peaceful neighborhood to call home after 7 months of living in a noisy rental. Elation in all the wonderful assistance I’ve received in settling into my new space. Mourning letting go of my position with a volunteer organization that I was a founder of and active member of for 10 years and all the dreams built up around that. A mixed bag with my cubieland position and wanting to establish my reiki/healing practice. Healing and releasing as stuff comes up and sometimes being too tired to do that but honoring where I’m at and trying not to take on stuff which is not mine. 🙂
xoxoxoxox
I was thinking of the meaning of paradox. ” paradox is a statement or concept that contains conflicting ideas, seems to defy; is absurd or contradictory yet is true.
Then thought of these examples.
“When you lose your mind, you will come to your senses.”
“Going slow does get you there faster”.
Must be a reason I thought of these two, probably because sometimes things do not make sense. Why do terrible things happen? A recent example in Toronto. A man and wife were enjoying a beautiful day in Trinity Bellwoods Park. They were visiting from France on work visas. She was pregnant and out of nowhere the branch of an overhead tree broke and was about to fall on top of her. Her husband pushed her out of the way and he was killed. She and her unborn baby were saved from death.
I think it is the juxtaposition of completely unrelated information that makes no logical sense. Only by understanding the contrast can we appreciate the how things fit. It made no sense at all why a branch fell out of the blue. What we don’t always know is what happened before that moment. There is a disconnect, maybe a time lapse that doesn’t provide the information that would explain why? or how? it happened?
The example of “when you loose your mind you will come to your senses” is a favorite one of mine. It may never make sense logically, but offers a different way to frame an event. As I am suffering from “heat brain” today I’m not sure that any of this makes sense. I usually do, but maybe my mind is not able to comprehend what is too painful to see. Unfair is an understatement, tragic absolutely. We likely could not appreciate the nuances and contrasts in life without the examples of when things do happen that are so unjust, unexplainable. I think it gives us a way to distance ourselves from the pain and to embrace absurdity as a part of the process of growth, death and rebirth. On that philosophical note; I will end. Too perplexing a topic to reflect on when the heat is so draining. Hope someone reading this had a moment of clarity.
I will include Louise Hays’ quote, “Life is happening FOR ME, not TO ME.”
Hope the new moon brings some unexpected miracles/blessings to all.
thanx for sharing
thank you for sharing,i know i am not alone
This is lengthy but please read!?Before moving from Maryland, I stayed with my sister. She absolutely does not like me or anybody who does. I just wouldn’t fully believe this. She was so mean to my cats Rocco and Franco she knew I had the cats before I move in with her. One day she threw a fit and told me they had to go now, that she was allergic to them. I took them back to the SPCA where I got them from as kittens this was 2013 and I had had them for three years. This was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. I felt I had totally betrayed them. It is hard to totally forgive myself. Then I moved to Tucson after being in a shelter for 18 months (This was in October, 2015). A cat came outside my room of the hotel I was staying in at 2:30 in the a.m. a Tuesday morning. The day before I passed a pet food store thinking I should buy some food in case a cat comes by. I always fed stray cats. She stayed with me I called her Lovely Lily. When I left I couldnot take her with me. Since then I went back twice looking for her but no luck. So since then for the past month or so I have been adding my cats to my morning prayer. The morning of Wednesday, june 15, 2016, as I was saying my prayers I heard a cat cry for help outside my door in the parking lot. I remember you saying that it is the essence of something Spirit will give you. I hope I am saying it right. I brought her in wth me and named her Lolita,(Lady Lolita)she had been abandoned also. We live together now!!!?
beautiful .. from sadness and loss to love.. life and Love continues..
This is a good way to focus on love no matter conditions. Listen to the cleons, then pay it forward.
https://cocoave-media.info/the-edge-of-paying-it-forward/
Sorry to hear about your dog. Thx for sharing in your blog. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be an empath, sounds really heavy. (Burned at the stake??? OMG!!!) Thx for sharing your reading list, I was just thinking that I should find a good book. Looking forward to yours!
Hello Soul Sister Colette,
It kinda felt awkward reading the origin of your emotional pain. Although your circumstances are quite different from my own. The flavor or source of the angst seems remarkably similar. I wonder if the awakened ones are sharing a meta curriculum from the heavens? That we don’t process as individual spirits, but as clusters of souls? Sorta like sifting through the dirt to locate specks of gold like panhandling in the river of eternal life.
I’m an Angelic Oracle Imagineer not so much focused on the psychic end. More so as a sage mystic due to my 20+ plus years of automatic writing. The journey has transformed me for the better.
We aren’t here to necessarily to fix the world. It will spin on its axis until it doesn’t anymore long after humanity has returned to the ethers. Being here for each other can mean a lot of outlets to build upon. We are only a page or two in the “Book of Life”. It’s hard to remember, but the task may seem impossible. Since it was meant to be shared collectively, a lone drummer doesn’t herald the lone wolves to save us.
Love yourself unconditionally, if you can catch yourself in another fit of rage. Call upon the specialists of the living emotional heart as the angels within to soothe your spirit. Their melodies have given renewed life by stirring long lost joys in each soul. Amen.
thanx for sharing.. .. and your message is for everyone… I share the human story and how I move through it as a teaching tool for others as well as a way to acknowledge and gather community so that even when we fall prey to the human stuff that there is a way out. IN fact my angels filled me with love.. acceptance and surrender.. and we may only be a few sentences in the Book of Life…but they can be meaningful ones…
Thank you for your concise remarks, Colette.
The human stories are of individuals, but the themes are always universal in scope. Indeed on gathering community and within all struggles the seeds of triumph are there however deeply buried they are in fact. I’m glad to hear you touched base with cluster of angels. Although seldom mentioned your/our/everyone’s angels are their spiritual siblings. (God(dess) is the ultimate parent) All the sentences in the “Eternal Book of Life” are meaningful it never has any fluff. Although the “Book of Life” is filled more with Souls with than sentences. :o)
Namaste Dear One.
Such a profoundly important blog for me personally. As an empath I also struggle to discern between my feelings and others and when someone close to me is struggling….Oy VEY!!How do we tell the difference – would it be possible to write a bloggy about it please to help us understand the difference and be able to help more?
I live in Israel where terror attacks for the last 8 or so months have been commonplace. A few days before Orlando, there was an attack in Tel Aviv where 4 people were killed – my friends little one was playing a few metres away. Then three days later, Orlando which profoundly affected many of us in Israel because we understand terror all too well and because our beloved Tel Aviv is a shining example of gay pride, tolerance and multi-culturalism. How did we cope? We showed our solidarity with Orlando immediately. We flocked en masse to Max Brenner, where the terror attack in TLV took place and made sure to place flowers, candles and sing away the darkness. We danced and celebrated life. We bought out all of Max Brenner’s delicious chocolate stock and crowned its restaurant.
It does not take the loss and pain away. It does not always dissipate the anger. But it does send a resounding message to anyone consumed with hate and terror – when you strike, we will sing louder, where you hurt us, we will dance longer, where you sew darkness, we will light up our cities and where you disseminate hatred we will celebrate life and love because that is what really matters.
oh Rolene this is a beautiful share… I will write.. blessings to all in Tel Aviv
Listening to your reading and reading your blog put me in a place of acceptance of “thy will be done”. Accepting that CRA can come in at any time even years later and say what they want about whether you have paid your due or not. Been a few years of struggling to make it on the fixed income for seniors and trying to figure out how to “pay the man” even if I say that I have. Somewhere there is a victim mentality in my past that needs healing. I’m working on it and your work helps. Thank you so much.
hang in there … sometimes a phone call to them directly is all it takes.. keep the faith – stay in that …
God bless you, Colette. Just wanted to send you a big hug and say thanks for being the courageous, loving person that you are, despite everything you’ve gone through.
You rock and are an inspiration.
Big hugs and lots of love.xoxo
big hug
Colette,
I love reading your blogs!! You are so real, it helps to be able to relate my own thoughts, emotions and fears!! Thank you!! My friend and I use to laugh, that we didn’t want to have the miracles and raise our level, because the Universe would hit us with some disaster! Nothing comes without cause and effect!! So for you to say it, makes me smile. We have raised our thinking and feel so close and Spiritual and we feel because of that feel, we try to handle the unpleasant that might happen in between!! I have two of your oracle decks and it is all I use when doing readings!! Love them
xoxoxox
Dear Colette,
(excuse my English, it is not my first language)
I so resonate with your post today.
You ask: What’s been challenging and scary and maybe painful but what has simultaneously been positive and life-affirming?
My daughter has always been a sensitive child, or should I say ‘over-sensitive’? One day, six years ago she refused to go to school one morning as she could no longer face up to the bullying. So she got a sick note from the doctor. A few days later I walked in on her ‘by accident’ as she tried to take her own Life. Not knowing what to do I started homeschooling her. But being a single child, she felt very alone and isolated. So I set up a school, Mannaz school. After much searching, I found a stunning rural farmhouse with 4000 meters of land, orchards, fields, an organic vegetable garden and adjoining stables where the students can interact with horses. Our small school is now up and running, open to young people between 12 and 18 years of age.
But by golly has it been a struggle! Keeping the place up and running financially whilst keeping school fees as low as possible has been a huge challenge. At times we set up a Crowdfunding campaign and the frustration I feel then!! NOT good, I know. But I can get really annoyed when people not even donate 1 euro.
But this is my Soul’s work and seeing a kid be angry because there is no school tomorrow always brings a smile to my face. Being around happy HSP kids, makes it all worth the struggle.
amazing… something beautiful out of something so upsetting.. bravo.. keep the faith Spirit will always have your back..
I got real upset about the dog. I am very sensitive to animals. Had to walk away from computer to catch my breathe. I am sorry for the loss! I pray for the animals daily because gheir in our care!
yes it was heartbreaking and we are gathering for justice.. its so hard to keep ones cool when animals are involved- for me anyway. But although rage is like a fire for fuel it can also burn everything down. I’m grateful I could contain it.. doesn’t help anyone to just be crazy angry..
Doing my morning walk yesterday, a rainbow appeared and remaining for most of my 3 miles walk. I have been going through a hard time for the last few years and feeling like a complete failure in just about anything I have done or it wasn’t the outcome I was hoping. Losing just about everything and wondering why I am here. The silence from my guidance, from my heart and soul, was slowly killing me. I am slowly finding my center again…focusing on things and thoughts lifting my vibration (music, nature, and animals) and noticing more small manifestations happening. The title of your blog caught my eye. Thank you for your wonderful work and the summer reading suggestions. I am still not sure what my true path except experiencing the many levels of life and living. Ready to receive something new. Blessings to all.
Jennifer… sending you a big supportive hug and I have been where you are when I first began my journey .. those books will help. Remember the poster Footprints in the sand? When we think we are alone.. but we’re really being carried. I send you so much love xooxoxox Spirit has your back.. always
hugs to youu x
Thank you Colette! This has been such a year of emotional roller coaster rides. Pets having to be released back to spirit, house sale, job loss, husbands surgery, moving not moving on and on it goes. However your blogs and wisdom of the oracle cards has helped me everyday. I soak your messages up like sponges. I use the cards to help me understabd the energy of my day and it has been so helpful to navigate this s**t show and it has kept me sane and positive for the most part. When I feel myself slipping into the abyss of fear you always always come along with a great blog that lifts my spirit!!! Thank you thank you! And thank you for the book list I may have to navigate the mountain of moving boxes we are currently living with to find my Catherine Ponders!
all those books are good.. I need reminders that I am accountable for my thoughts, words and actions.. and that co-creation means I need to do my part. Especially when I want to leave nasty voicemails on the Kennels phone line when that will do no good. lolol
Dear Colette,
Thank you so very much for sharing yourself, as well as your triumphs and your struggles, with us. I really needed to read what you wrote today.
Also, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of both your little doggie and your friend’s Chu-Chu. My heart just broke. I’m sending light and love.
I’m basically new to you and your work via HH Radio and I have to say, your words and interviews have been getting me through so much. First of all, your work has gotten me to finally accept that I am empathic. Second, your words have been keeping me from going off the deep end at this delicate point in my life.
After my monastery experience, I haven’t been the same. (I’m an ex-nun from a very strict order who wasn’t brought up in the religion so I questioned everything because I needed things to make sense to me. Got in trouble for that. Superior extremely abusive but then she was ex-communicated, etc. Long, long story.). It didn’t help being a sensitive in that particular environment.
Dealing with the “fallout” from this experience and coming back out into the world where there is so much hatred, terrorism, prejudice, etc. going on, well…I really wanted to check out. What I had no idea was that not only was I carrying my own fears, worries, etc., but that of others – both living and…deceased.
I am also of mixed race and returned back home to a place that once I felt so welcome in. Now, because of the pigmentation of my skin, I’m no longer accepted and even greatly distrusted. My family is also broken apart – we are “latino”, “brown”, “black” and “white”. It’s so sad to see the family torn assunder these days – both my birth family and my human family.
Every once in a while, I wish I had followed through with the plan to end it all when I was in the monastery. This morning was one of those mornings and then I read your post.
I suppose what I’m trying to say is that my heart is extremely broken and I’m grieving – grieving not only my own pain and my own Shadow Stuff, but that of this world and those around me. I’ve been like that since a child and was often told to “get over it”, “grow thick skin”, “that’s just the way of the world”, etc. I don’t like any of these comments. So, I’m really grateful for what I am learning from you and from others at HH Radio.
Thank you so much. Blessings!
Thank you, Colette for your honesty and directness. I am ever grateful to be part of the journey that you share with us as it reminds me to stop, breathe and refocus my attention and energies… I wish you and your friend ease through the losses and I thank you for your messages that bring so much support. with gratitude, Loren
Thank you, Colette, for sharing (as always) your feelings, thoughts, and challenges. After reading this post and the comments, I returned for a bit to my own thoughts on the events of the past few weeks. Then I pulled The Fates card from The Wisdom of the Oracle for my morning ‘energy exercise’ and that really hit the mark on how I was feeling. I see so much pulling apart and us vs. them mentality going on in our culture, and while events like the Orlando attack bring people together at that moment, overall, there is so much anger and separatism going on, I don’t feel there’s a forward progress toward peace, unity, or simply tolerance of all people. My prayers are for us to move incrementally toward that bigger peace – and that we no longer see them as a result. Then I think that I just want to run and hide in the wilderness and never see other people – to insulate myself entirely from this craziness. The dichotomy of love and hate, compassion and anger that you spoke about a bit. But I know I can’t run and hide – but stay and try to change things for the better. It’s hard, but I’m sure deep down, that it’s our purpose as lightworkers to facilitate this change. Ugh! I am also so sorry for Althea and her/your loss. Heartbreaking! Again, thank you for sharing so deeply. There’s no “Yellow Brick Road” here that leads us to the Great Wizard to make things right (unfortunately!). But on we must go…
thanx for sharing… and to all who I didn’t have time to comment on.. hugs to all
I’ve never left a comment on here before. Nor do I post on line my harships, but….Drowning for the last 2 years with lose. Angry about so much. The negativity becomes a magnet. I’m well read for decades on the power of the mind….but I can’t seem to ‘move’. Commit to anything. When I read on line posts that are filled with self-pity & victimization, I want to smack em on the side of the head! And at the same time I realize that’s how I’M feeling. Not where I want to be! Thank you for the opportunity to express myself here. Miracles happen.
Sharon I loved your post. There are so many of us paddling around in a s**t storm but the way you expressed yourself so honestly and with such humour you made me laugh out loud. I have no idea who you are but thank you for the honesty and may blessings and miracles start to show up.
Thank you for sharing Colette! You are such an amazing writer and I truly appreciate your authenticity. I hope someday I can be as authentic and vulnerable while still expressing strength and love.
Love to Althea and her Pom. I am with you. Absolutely no excuse and no animal deserves that. As I have gotten older I now bring the spiders and ants outside if I can vs jumping on a chair and screaming.
Since Monday I have been feeling quite an entry shift.. Back to the depression of hopelessness. Despite my knowing it is temporary and it could be someone else I am feeling it still seems to get to me. There are times I just feel that God has forgotten about me and I am flailing in the dark.
I have been praying for sometime now for help with my career. I am in the corporate world and don’t love it, I have studied so many different things (reiki, intuition, which is great with other people but it seems blocked when it comes to my own life, esthetics etc). I interviewed for a new job at my current company but just not excited about it. I pray almost daily that God put me where I should be… That I can’t choose but she can and thy will be done. I have taken action by putting my resume out for the world to see.. Sending to select groups I have respect for and praying. There are days I absolutely expect the amazing call out of the blue and other days I don’t.
Most of that I learned from you. I get on my dragon, or flying horse or ladybug when I remember.
Interesting the synchronicity of your blog today. I did a three card reading for myself this morning asking what i need to know about today. Soul mates in protection, yang upright and time for a nap in protection. Yang and time for a nap was very confusing to me. One telling me to take action.. The othe saying take a break. One of those days I guess.
Thank you for being you. Much love.
This so resonates with me and I have just experienced much of this. I was hired for a job as concierge and in house marketing rep that had me wondering what I was doing there as this job was so Not me. I felt the job was taking me away from being in touch spiritually and pulling me to the side I had fought hard to get away from. There were quotas to be met that I was not meeting and I was getting upset about the lack of money I was making for all the effort and time I had been putting in. I meditated and prayed about this and the answer became very clear, that I was supposed to be there, to help others,to shine the light and be of service. What good am I if I only hang with out with people like myself, I will not be able to make a difference in the world if I do not share what I have to offer with others. The next day I went back to work and totally surrendered to the higher energies and decided to let go of the outcome. As I have learned to surrender,and trust in the bigger plan, all of a sudden I have been meeting quotas and doing well at work. Faith is such a big part of life,there is a greater plan than we can imagine and we are all meant to be happy and prosper. All is in divine and perfect order.
I am so sorry to read about the treatment of your friend’s dog. It has brought tears to my eyes since I love animals so much and can never understand how anyone could mistreat them. Thank you for sharing with us Colette.
Wow! Difficult to find words to thank you! Who you are is such a confirmation.. a Wayshower of navigating the sometimes tumultuous journeys we all walk seemingly separately, but as you so beautifully show, we never walk it alone. And this includes all life that is supported on and by this planet … animals, trees, etc. The beautiful gift we all have called “Choice” you so eloquently showed us here. Though I do not know you, I truly “KNOW” YOU and am blessed and grateful for having ‘found’ you (Ha! so that’s where that part of me is! :-}). And we all are so Beautiful, huh?
Blissings and Blessings
P.S. That card reading was “HOPE” that just brought a heart smile long awaited!
Dear Colette….
I wasn’t going to post… but..here goes. I HEAR YOU! I’ve had the exact same kind of week. My work is a little “different” in that I’m a “funeral officiant” as well as provide music for funerals….I’ve done this since I was 14! (over 3,000 to date)and… I pick up TONS of energy from ALL the people I meet and…I dare say, the Souls about whom I speak…The emotion I seem to “take on” the most is GRIEF….and this past week was “one of those weeks”….I was SAD…on and off all week…and kept saying, “Is this MINE or NOT mine?” (most of the time I can tell the difference) I’m also an astrologer…AGAIN…clients are feeling the “worldly angst”….so…I have to say, I TOTALLY, 100% agree with your BLOG comments about “the biggest load of horseshit the New Age has ever dished out. Or maybe it never did and that some teachings just left a whole lot out and it was easier to believe in the white washed version of life and “ascension”.” YES! I agree….there seem to be too many what I call “quick-fix, magic-bullet” answers that are more like living on a diet of cheese doodles and Pepsi rather than whole foods.
Anyway…this “human condition” is no walk in the park, so THANKFULLY, we have our Souls…our Higher Selves…and there ARE TIMES when I think mine (Higher Self) has gone ROGUE, or WORSE…MISSING!…but Alas…slowly the sense of “somehow, it’s gonna be OK!” seeps back in and I pick my Self up once again.
It’s not always easy discerning if one is REALLY on the “path” for them SELVES, and trust can seem elusive…but…rogue or not, I continue to call on my “Benevolent Unseen Team”…and somehow….however remotely, quietly, or “in your face”….they answer!
Blessings to you M’Lady! YA DUN GOOD! Keep on doing what you’re doing…And if you’re a SUN in Cancer….life is sensitive enough, neverMIND what’s all happening on the planet at this juncture of “Earth Life”. I send you Love and continued deep Knowing for the Journey!
Go gently….
Victoria
Dear Colette,
Losing someone, whether it is a human being or an animal is always a great loss and it’s natural to grief about them. At least that’s what it should be. For me, personally, it’s not so easy. While being over-sensitive I am not very good, to put it mildly, with dealing with emotions and feelings. At least when it’s about myself. To support others with their grieving process has never been an issue for me.
Losing my grandmother in the beginning of this year was a “big blow in the face” for me. As she was the only member of my adoptive family I felt truly connected with, and felt unconditional love from. We were connected on so many levels that some persons in my life were jealous on it. Anyway, I didn’t grief or allowed my feelings en emotions to just be there for a couple of months. And while I still don’t let them be there as I probably could do (Yes I remember Louise Hay’s saying about “should and could”), I did use that crisis to get up and start working on myself, I got out of an 4-year-depression, and found my way back to the path of spirituality. Since then I made a lot of progress, from my old-self to start growing to my authentic self.
I got some great teachers in my life, spiritually, in you (Colette), Nancy Levin, and many others via Hay House Radio or the Hay House Summit, including the Queen of affirmations herself, Louise Hay.
I found help in ways I never thought I would. And grew more the past 3 or 4 months than I did in the 20-something- years prior to that.
So everything went uphill for me since very long period of years going downhill. I admitted to myself what I already know (step 1, from Nancy’s book Jump and your life will appear….) and told someone I trust what I admitted to myself (step two of the same book), I even got the courage to come out of the closet here in our community.
But the horrific situation in Orlando, hit me in my core. And almost made me want to crawl back into that closet. As being the second part of LGBT, Bisexual and Transgender, it was hard to see so many of my “brothers and sisters” being killed or hurt. Even though they were or are living in another country. It showed me, exactly, why I didn’t come out of the closet earlier and why I’m still hesitating to be open about it towards others in my life. but after the fear, that’s partly still there, I found myself in a rage. Against what or whom, I have to figure that out completely but I know that I’m angry at myself for being a coward (in my own eyes) and decided that when I’m on a vacation, after over 5 years, I’m going to go to a gay bar on the island where I’m staying for my vacation. I will not allow anyone to push me back into that closet, and I will not let fear dictate my life, for now only in that department or so it seem, anymore.
I know it will take a long time to accept and move forward from my own past of abuse, neglect, sexual assault and torture. But, even though, it might feel that way sometimes, I know that I’m not alone anymore on my path of growth.
It are people like yourself, that are inspiring me to never give up and to eventually life my own dreams of how I want to live my life and become professionally, what I know is my calling here on our planet, an victim’s advocate.
To serve and help others getting back their lives, to shed light into the darkness of their lives and shed light into the darkness that surrounds these issues……
you are NOT alone… oxoxoxox thanx for sharing your thoughts with us
Amazing blog, thank you so much! I always learn so much from your words, written, videos and oracle cards. I am challenged by cancer and have been for the past 14 years. It cost me my partner of 25 years who just couldn’t deal with it any more. Over the course of this difficult journey I have remained, for the most part, very positive and upbeat, trying to never drop into poor me victim mode. Recently I met someone special; something that under the circumstances I never expected to happen. Tomorrow I will undergo another CTscan to evaluate the progression of the disease. I am terrified! So on the one hand I am elated with this new relationship that is more than I could have imagined and yet so fearful of the results I will get on Thursday. I have learned to take one day at a time and make the most of it but my senses right now are on overload. I am a healer and an empath. This in itself presents a whole other deluge of strong feelings. All I can say to myself is, take a deep breath and carry on. And as much as I hate this saying, it will be what it will be! Thank you, Colette. for everything! I love you!❤️
but it is true for everything.. it will be what it will be.. and it will be dark and light and everything in between.. this is Life
Colette .. Every word you wrote in the blog .. And all these comments .. Too good for words ! .. So much honesty .. I can’t write about my recent experiences, as they are way too personal and I am long winded ! .. I am going through my lessons, and progressing .. Your teachings each week give me more food for thought, and remind that there are methods available to diffuse my fears, anger or frustration .. Thank you and havea blessed week .. Lisa xoxox
thanx for sharing oxoxo
Lee ~~~ your blog resonated with me today…. While my heart is filled with gratitude, I am also very aware of the many around me who have lost so much. As we were evacuated on May 3, I think most of Ft. McMurray were in shock and disbelief …. it happened so fast. Now that the city is attempting to rebuild and we have to deal with the fall out of the evacuation there are many times when I find myself in a state of rage. This rage, when it erupts, is directed at those who are making decisions about our lives that we have no control over…. Whether it’s the political aspects or the Insurance Adjusters causing headaches to an already distressed population, the injustice infuriates me. I decided yesterday while talking with the Universe that I would allow things to flow and while asking for guidance to resolutions that would be for my highest good …. I found peace. I surrendered my frustrations and am trusting that it will work out as it is meant to me. I have no doubt before this is over, I will relapse and utter some choice words but I planning on practicing flow. I agree completely that coming together in love and support will build the bridges we need to live in harmony. Have a great day Colette, sending you love & light xoxo
practicing flow.. that is the way…
I am so grateful for your work and your words. Keep it up please. You remain one of us and it is so refreshing. My son and I recently parted ways (I sold our house and moved into an apartment and that finally forced him to go to L.A. to pursue his dreams of being a comedian/actor. Working hard but going nowhere and both of us are feeling the separation anxiety. I am proud of him and me. It has been just he and I for 10 years, and 5 years of addiction (oxycodone) for him and me, his enabler. Actually he is now clean 5+ years of oxy and I am very happy for him for that, but even he knows he wasted 5 years. I know I am being the best parent I can by letting him go and not playing the victim card, but boy it is challenging to the emotions. I trust in spirit and welcome their signs that they are taking care of us. I get a lot of license plates with messages. So that is all good.
xoxox
I so appreciate your honesty! Finally, someone who admits that we are not complete failures because life isn’t all peaches and cream. And someone who admits that their life isn’t without it’s little speed bumps. Let me tell you about my little speed bumps….I am an empath who has worked in the corrections field for over 21 yrs! Talk about pure torture! I hated going to work because of the mire that I had to wade thru on an hourly basis, but on the other hand I loved helping people so couldn’t wait to get there. I was schizophrenic, so to speak! The biggest problem I had was the admin where I worked – they were zero supportive and it made life unbearable at times. So I held on for dear life…tied the knot in the proverbial rope and Spirit got me out of that situation and plopped me down in the middle of a sea of tranquility! No exaggeration! I am in community corrections now with wonderful coworkers and still working with offenders in a setting that is nurturing and supportive! I am so excited about what Spirit has done for me!! There were times I shook my fist and screamed “Why?” but we have to taste the bitter in order to savor the sweet when it comes right? There is always a lesson and there is always a blessing if we can only see past the pain to the other side of it. Sometimes easier said than done I know especially when it goes on and on and on, but joy comes in the morning!!!! Love and Light my peeps!!!!
thank you for contributing!
Hi Colette…I left a comment…but…it’s not here! Hmmm! Just want to make sure I’m “connected.” If this one appears…I’ll rewrite what I wrote…
YUP! It posted! Sorry about that…it’s above THIS one! (And SO the energy continues!)
Gotta love it!
xoxox
I think it is?
Thank you Colette for reminding us that ‘Anger is good fuel but needs to be filtered for good’. Perfectly stated. I just love your honest, real writing style!
So often in life the experiences we have that may be considered negative prove to be the greatest gifts. That in no way lessens our feelings of anger and grief but it is enlivening to know and trust that good will come of it when we allow it.
Although I only know about the LGBT community from the media perspective, I admire their projected love, support of eachother and pride for their community and the rest of the world. It appears they are choosing love and that is what it is all about!
Hi Colette, great blog again. I thank you for these.
It’s been a tough week, just when I think I’m moving towards my “chosen” profession, I seem to keep putting roadblocks up on myself, so I have to really ask myself WHY am I hesitant to move forward with this – was it a past life bad experience (I’ve had my share of burnings, buried alive behind walls, etc.) that I made an oath that I was NEVER going to be a spiritual healer again, or is it just ego in this lifetime that says I’m not good enough? I don’t know. I ask my cards every night, yet I hesitate. It’s so frustrating. Perhaps my chosen profession, is not what Spirit has chosen as my profession?? Hugs to you and all the fellow travellers on this past.
one day it will be so obvious you won’t question.. until then be Ok with the questioning.. many miracle have been stumbled upon in detours
Colette,
So sorry for your loss of Olli and your friend’s loss of Chu Chu! Animals that become our pets are even more helpless than children. These people who neglect and hurt them must have no spirit at all. It must be all ego, so wrapped up in themselves that they don’t see the bigger picture. In addition to my little cat Agatha, I have taken to feeding wild birds. One day I was walking back to my car in the same parking lot where I feed then and an apple fell out of the sky about 2 feet from me. I looked everywhere and saw nothing. I knew it was a sign to keep feeding the birds. A gull showed up the other day with one lame foot. This morning I was putting the food out and there were no birds. Talking to myself I wondered where my one footed bird was and in the same moment he flew over my head and thanked me for the food. God or Spirit is always listening. Hope you actually read this one to give you some comfort.
Janice
love this
So sorry about your doggie, Colette, and thank you for letting us know that we are not alone. The word paradox has come up a lot for me, and I’m revisiting many lessons from the past. Your sharing and work is so important, and I’m grateful to be part of your community. I have two Catherine Ponder books, The Prospering Power of LOVE, and Open Your Mind to Prosperity. Also, Marianne’s Tears to Triumph is on my list.
Love and Hugs,
Stephanie
paradox. yeah. When my mom died in mid-January, my world turned upside down. So much of my life these past four years has been organized around taking care of her. Now I have time for me, and the first thing I need to do is secure some more income. Lots of things have changed with her passing. I’m moving towards what I want to do in life to sustain myself but the hows and the whens nag me, especially around money. I’m excited and terrified all at the same time. Things are changing so fast and not nearly fast enough, and there is so much turmoil in the world. So much struggle with shadow this year. I’m coming to truly believe that so much evil is created by projection of what we hate about ourselves onto the Other: refugees, LBGT community, immigrants, animals, the earth in general. The fear and the self-disgust that is acted out upon is overwhelming. I have to work to keep from lashing out myself.
yep… I get it..
Dearest Colette:
My heart breaks for you, your friend Althea and of course for her precious Chu-Chu. Thank You for sharing your feelings of sorrow and anger because in our ego state of selfishness sometimes we forget that you are not perfect, that you don’t have all the answers and that teachers and mentors have to be taken down off the pedestal we’ve put them on and be loved unconditionally and as unselfishly as you love us. It is empowering to know that we are needed as well. I love the “all for one and one for all” tribe mentality you encourage and practice with your teachings. I know your rage and sadness is real and raw for your friend but I think it also goes deeper for all of us as we are outraged by the injustices placed on animals, children, seniors. The innocence destroyed.
Sending much love and healing prayers to you and Althea. RIP Chu-Chu.
big hug Heather
My daughter always says “embrace the struggle”. Not bad thinking for a 22 year old, understanding that it’s all about the journey. Whew! There certainly have been many dark days and a whole lot of struggle in both recent and not so recent years. We are now moving into a lighter more joyful period thank God, his angels and the support of loving friends and prayers! I’m thinking of the opening line in one of my favorite books, “The Road Less Traveled”, which says “life is difficult”…. We can do this life together when we just keep loving and supporting each other. Embrace the struggle! That being said, I hate what happened to that poor little puppy and if it were my dog, I’d sue their asses off!
we are hoping to change the laws in New Mexico.. there are no regulations for these kennels in the entire state
Colette,
I so hope the laws we be able to be changed in New Mexico. I also hope you will keep us posted, if you can. Is there any way to get involved too? Like an online petition or something? I would definitely sign it and send it out to my mailing list as most of them are animal lovers and/or pet owners. As well, my closest friends are moving out to New Mexico (about 1 hour from Santa Fe). All their dogs are rescues. They also travel often and here on the East Coast they leave their dogs with a pet sitter they’ve known for years but that will change when they move. Knowing about poor Chu-Chu I will be sharing this with them. Their dogs are their babies, just as my Baby Boy Kitty Kat is my Lil’ Baby.
Sending light and love.
yes we will have a petition for sure the place was Country Boarding Kennels in Santa Fe .. there is an investigation now
Hello, Colette.
I’m so glad to hear there is an investigation. Will definitely sign and share the petition when it is available.
Sending light and love.
In the recent months I have begun to awaken. I believe I have an empathic ability that I wasn’t even aware of. Looking back I realize I can feel others emotions and more.
Since I have been meditating and searching for my divine purpose my life is upside down and inside out. Is that common during this process? Everything I knew to be usual is gone. I am finding it hard to suppress anger. What am I angry about. Not sure. Puzzled.
so common…. salt baths help
Thank you for the work you do and for showing up in my inbox on the regular 🙂 I’m newish to the party, but a big fan … 18 months ago I lost my dad who was also my Prince Charming (coming to the rescue!) and I wouldn’t allow my self to believe that I was still in grief mode. Then 6 months ago I lost my Bernese Mt Dog unexpectedly and I crashed hard. Only recently have I felt like I am coming out of the tunnel and into the light. I am now pursuing a different path that combines my love of dogs with coaching yet can still hear my dad saying, “you can’t make money off of the animals!” in the background. Business is slow building yet I’m of to teach my first workshop this weekend. Ah, the high-highs and the low-lows. And that’s where I am, feeling like I have found my path but smacked with doubt when I struggle financially. Thanks for providing a forum to share. Ready to receive “easy.” Blessings to you!!
keep doing what you do and stay believing..
I just love you Collette! You can make me laugh, cry, and feel inspired all in a single blog. Both your blog and oracle reading really resonated with me this week. Thank you for continuing to share your light with us.
xoxoxoxo
Good morning Colette…I have had a similar week…With the shooting in Florida.My son is Gay and those poor kids getting killed and injures for who they are. I went into a emotional rage over it. What happened there has been happening for years. Ignorance is hard to kill. Also my poor little dog Honey got sick the other day from a bee sting. Been to the Vet. She was treated and it helped but then she got dehydrated and had to spend all day yesterday at the Vets.Today she is back at the Vets and being hydrated on an IV. I worry more about her than most humans in my life. She is my little Angel and soul mate. I asked the Universe why and the answer was that Dogs are soul too. They make the choice to come into your life here on Earth. And along with that comes the same things we Humans have to deal with. I was surprised that I got such a quick answer. Also I am an Empath. I have have been this way since a child. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with other peoples emotions. My gift I feel Death coming. Even all this time I get a bit unnerved. The thing is I can’t tell the person. It”s hard knowing. How do you deal with it.Thank you for being so Human…You are a beautiful soul.
you get used to it.. you stay grateful.. you trust Spirit.. you cry , you get mad.. you start again..
Life IS a complicated hair-ball! haha Love that, Colette!
A big paradox in my life has been the sadness & frustration in the relationship I have with my grown-up son(18) and the simultaneous great, close relationship I have with my youngest son (9). I go from doing my best to communicate with and offer my best support that is rarely recieved well, to cheering on my little guy at his baseball games.
They are opposite kinds of relationships and I swing like a pendulum at times between the emotions, always trying to improve one and be present and really enjoy the other. The guilt I often feel is heavy, because naturally I love both of them with all my heart.
Having started my awakening journey about the year 2000,I will say that the Spiritual Teachers back then did not share their downs. I am grateful that a few of them do now and that is a huge shift of stepping into their Authentic Self. That is one thing that I had admired in the 2014 Divine Wisdom retreat-Authenticity.
Be real! Share your life in its true form because that will help more Seekers rediscover their Authentic Self. So thank you Colette for being one who has become openly Authentic! Because life for us spiritual teachers is NOT all rainbows of happiness. And we should not paint that picture for those we inspire. The valleys and wells of darkness is where gems and gold nuggets of wisdom are uncovered. Layers are continuously being peeled off through our ENTIRE lifetime.
In 2015 I took a 1 year program from Courtney Long, Angel Abundance Ambassador Club program. And within the first four months of that program I had more money challenges than ever. 4 AC repairs, bee removal, plumber bill and then having to buy 2 new AC units just before my 1 year program was over.
The gems and the gold nuggets were worth the journey. I stepped FULLY into my worthiness. I defined my Life Purpose mission. And I realized that my Believe Circle Project, started back in 2012, has helped masses already! I had been look only at the physical realm people…wondering how I could reach and touch more people…seeing NO progress. Well, well, well, until the day my guides spoke through Karen Winkleman and the numerology of my projects birthdate.
The Ah-ha moment… that all of the energetic Family Tree clearing, and the DNA clearing of Mary Magdalene and the seed of Solomon plus clearing the energy of that land that I was guided to do…all that work I had done for my Inner work during this 1 year program…DID help masses. Each person in that family tree, generations of them.. back and forward and the same with the DNA. That DNA touches generations of people. It was then, in that moment, that I paused and said, ” Well done, Michelle.” I now know that I have helped masses and I will help many more.
I have battled chronic pain for years. It’s just there no matter what I do, or do not do. There are good days and bad days where the pain is concerned. I have recently reached the point in my journey where I have to take opoid pain relievers twice a day every day, and a third time on bad days. There are days the pain killers don’t work as well as hoped. The irony in all this is that during this time of increasing pain I am learning to identify the things I want in my life, the things I refuse to give up due to my disability. I am learning more patience and more tolerance and more empathy. I was a nurse as my calling. It was so much more than a career for me. Now I am learning to be the patient. It’s a challenge, but thanks to my growing levels of empathy and patience I am able to walk this path with kindness and dignity, most days. Sometimes it is the “bad” things that happen to us that lead us to the most growth producing experiences. Sometimes it takes the “bad” to show us the “good”.
Colette,
I love reading your blogs, it puts everything into prospective and makes you think about things. Right now I’ve dealt with death as watching family members pass left and right. Another family member was just told he has even weeks to live. Another death that came out of left field was my Father who was my rock and best friend. I felt like everything was ripped out of me and I was devestated seeing the way he passed. I kept on holding on to his death and the what ifs. I’m slowly letting that go and following a saying he used to say to me when I was going out on a date or with friends. Be like Poppa, smile, laugh, be outgoing and happy! I’m starting slowly to follow that as the wound is slowly healing. Thank you for all you do, it definitely helps on keep moving forward to your divine purpose.
Collette,
I so appreciated your blog today. I call life’s events bitter sweet, here is my example. Three and half years ago my Pop was getting ready to pass to the other side, that morning I received a phone call from my Son who told me their Baby arrived earlier than expected. I put the phone to his Grandpa’s ear and he told him he had a new great-grandson. My Pop passed the next morning. A coincidence? I think not, as I grieved the passing of my Pop, I celebrated the new life in our family. The more I trudge this happy road to destiny and remember to stay present, knowing that I am never alone as long as I stay connected to Spirit, life makes more sense, even the hard stuff. Yes emotions, memories will surface and I can now look at them recognize them and release them, knowing in those fragile emotions and painful memories my lessons are there. To grow to know to trust Spirit has my back. Thank you for sharing your light, that my light recognized, I value your service and live to do the same. Blessings, Sandi
Hi Colette, I read your story, and are so sad for your friend’s dog (and yours too). My pussycat died after a long illness several years ago, and I miss her so much. Actually my life is full of down events, if I can call them in this way… And since I have no money (I too are without job from three years), all electronic things are brokening, and even when the substitute are free, I have to pay for them for others’ mistakes or delays and so on. So, no paradoxes in my life. Only sad things. And I’m alone, my only companion is a Spirit, my Soulmate. And my friends continue posting on Facebook “Life is beautiful”, “Joy is a state of heart”, and so on. And the meditation center I attended closed me the doors two months ago, because I couldn’t control my feelings, they said the world is only light and love and I answered it wasn’t true… And I was so angry, and I’m still angry. I also use oracle cards (via apps), and they always tell prosperity is all around, but I cannot see it… Now I’m trying a lecture with your Oracle Cards, usually they work (my favorite are Avalon Wisdom). Blessings of Light.
I am desperately trying to find your book called The Future in audio form. Please can you help?
it doesn’t come in audio …
Wow! It is beyond refreshing to finally have someone point out that this miracle mindset stuff is detrimental if you don’t look at what you are feeling. It’s been like a dirty secret… somehow if you feel guilty, anger , shame then somehow you’ve fallen off the spiritual bandwagon. Awareness is always key and not falling into a victim state but sometimes you gotta feel to move.
Hi Colette ! Thank you so much for your guidance … I have been going through a rough spot lately . I am a widow n a new relationship after being married for 25 years to a wonderful man. It has been challenging to say the least . As we all know human life is not easy when we are in the ” learning ” mode . Which is where I feel I am right now . This man came into my life suddenly for a reason , I know that . But some well meaning friends have decided to pick me apart for how I handle the relationship , always criticizing and lecturing me . I turn to my guides often for guidance , and when I sat on my porch meditating and a beautiful butterfly landed right on my chest and sat there just fluttering its wings , knew that was a sign from spirit that I already knew in my heart the answer to how to handle this situation . Very hard as this one person is a life long friend ( 60 plus years }. I suddenly realized why she was acting the way she is, always condemning me ….telling me I am handling things wrong . She is also a widow and I now know she is envious of my situation and therefore she tries to make me give up on my relationship. I hated thinking that way , but felt a sense of peace when my lovely butterfly brought me that message . The answers are always there … we just need to listen . I feel at peace now knowing where she was coming from and am better able to handle it, better able to just let it go ….. Thanks again for all your guidance !!
Wow! Blown away by all the lengthy comments generated by your willingness to be open and your authentic self! Quite an inspiration to say the least. Saves me from writing my story! Onward!! Thank you Colette and family! ?
So many spiritual chapters in my life yet I’ve enjoyed listening to you for quite a while. I initially read your books and occasionally use your cards. Sorry for your losses, and I hope your kindness will continue to be returned to you. Currently, your sharing is keeping me afloat, and I think your creativity is awesome!
My heart goes out to Chu Chu and family. May a light be lit in this awefull darkness and shine brightly so other fur babies will not have to suffer same.
We can all draw together and take and give strength from/to each of our fellow peoples stories (sad, happy, whatever), learn, grow stronger, laugh, cry, get mad, fix what we can fix in our own radius and if we can’t fix it definitely plant the seed so a new better tree can grow, build the foundations and while we might not all be in a radiant place today at least hopefully take pride and some sort of warmth that we all together are making our world a better place. That free smile that you give the stranger in the street can be the difference (unknown to you) of making them feel just a little bit better in their own lives and that somebody does care. This is where I believe Abundance comes in – one free smile can mean $1 million to a total stranger – even if you don’t know where your own next meal is coming from.
Keep smiling, keep loving, keep being you and our communal light will shine always ever brighter! Big Love to all!
Well, I guess this is what community is all about…finding ourselves in a similar soup! I also have been wavering from light to dark and back again. I know in my heart that I am too do something new. I fall into depression when I worry, contemplate and fail to figure out what that might be. Then, I decided to renew my surroundings! I needed to do some home updating and poof! there showed up money to do it! I have been cleaning out, renewing my home, my farm…it feels like prep work for something that will come as soon as the clearing it completed. Everyday I stand in my world and thank the Universe for the beauty of what I have and have created, thinking that maybe it’s just about being joyful for it all. Nothing mind blowing, not a big BOOM! but just the enjoyment and fulfillment of living itself. As I feel that joy my heart becomes fuller and I feel my guides and angels clap with that joy and I know whatever new place I am supposed to go will show itself at the right time! Love you all!
While I do understand the difficulty in the feelings of loss, anger or even rage associated so many times with, not just the loss, but the WAY the occurred, I also know that those losses are intended, many times, to bring us something new and allowing us an opportunity to “grow”. I have come to think that that ability is one that we might never have had without the particular loss of whatever thing or person or place we had to find ways of doing without and find some kind of a transformation within ourselves through that feeling…whatever it was or however many they may have been until the transformation was complete.
So many times, I have had to stop and remember my grandmother’s words to us as children….”Let go and let God.” But then, I have had to try to wrestle with the others, such as “God helps those who help themselves.” I have since also had to wrestle with learning so much about myself that seems to have been “passed” down, in a way, from my maternal side of the family, as my grandmother and her mother. , were also mediums. I realize this must seem to be off the subject, but it actually isn’t….not for me, anyway.
You see, with having learned and, shall I say, “grown into” some of the things so many do not understand and have chastised me for and called me “evil” for saying or believing or practicing, I have learned a lot about those who do not understand, as well. I have been brought to learn humility and patience and understanding…and forgiveness….all things that were learned from some of the most terrible losses and hardships I have encountered! To say that I have been grateful for all of the “perceived” outcomes would not be entirely true. I have,as yet,been able to understand the “reasoning” or purpose for the betterment for a lot of things that have been a painful and unwelcome part of my life.
And this is also where all I have brought up comes into play. I have worked so hard to try and use what God gave me….gave us all. I know I SHOULD be able to heal myself. My body can and will believe whatever my mind tells it. Yet, I can not seem to do what I feel ….have always felt is possible. So now what? I just accept everything and stop looking forward TO BETTER DAYS AND TIMES AND WAYS OF HAVING SOME LIFE LEFT IN THIS EXISTENCE? Yes, I think I have to now. Maybe that has been the latest lesson….accepting the things I cannot change. I have to learn to adapt again! It is NOT what I always wanted or planned or ever would have guessed would have been where I ended up. And I had refused to accept it as my final destination. Perhaps, one day, before it is too late, something will change it all again for the better. But it might not, either. And in the meantime, to stop trying to live each day for what it is by only looking forward to a time that might never come in the way I want it to be is wasting what I have now. Is it easy? NO, it is the most difficult time in my whole life to be going through. But what other choice is there?
I can either accept things in this moment and do y best to make the best of them, or be determined not to accept any of it and keep thinking I can make it what I want, or I can do a little of both. To give up entirely on wishing or visualizing something better, to me, is a form of defeat, especially, at my age. I am afraid that if I give up entirely, I won’t last much longer. So, I have to maintain a certain amount of hope for what I now perceive as better than now, while accepting that I need to make the most of every day that I can, the best I can, while I am still here. That is a delicate balancing act, to say the least!
I very much enjoy hearing your ideas on everything, and what your card readings have to say, as so many times, they just seem to fit so well with what I have been feeling or going through. Sometimes, it helps me to keep a healthier perspective than I might have, otherwise. People are here to help each other, I believe, as well as helping ourselves to evolve. And sometimes, in helping others, we help ourselves. And no matter what I like to think I can or should be able to do, the one thing I have complete faith in, is the fact that there is a God… a higher power and intelligence that is responsible for all that is, and there are and will always be times when we just have to let go and let God.
I can’t help but zero in on Althea’s story. OMG!!! that is my pain button in this life. Yes I agree with you…when I hear of stories like that near to me I am filled with a rage and pain I can’t describe and the only way back is focusing on the love for animals around me. It takes days and weeks but I do come back to loving and living. I don’t think I will ever understand that level of cruelty. Not in this lifetime but I have a chance of understanding on the “other” side. I guess if these higher souls die in the worst way to better our lives in some way than I think saying thank you for every day is what is needed and to carry love in our being to bring more light to the dark places. Please send my condolences to Althea. This must be so hard for her. Unimaginable. Love to you both and to the courageous being that was here to be love.
I have been feeling this paradox plus this intense energy. So much change is underway– globally and in my personal life. Friends are moving away or retiring or getting sick, and work is hectic and the days are flying by at breakneck speed. The news is horrific and I am torn between turning away from it and bearing witness to it. I am fortunate to be healthy and have a loving partner but I just honestly feeling sad and worn right now.
A follow-up to my previous post (very first one above)…
This past week was very rough for me as I ended up in bed for 2 days because of a food reaction, and I still feel weak and fragile…I have been trying for the past 3+ years since my collapse to figure out what exactly I can eat as I seem to react adversely to so many foods lately.
Yet, Spirit still had my back as I was out on Thursday with my 5-year-old niece delivering around the countryside…we were almost in an accident at one intersection – I totally didn’t see the vehicle at all till it was in front of me when I was already in the intersection, thankfully I was able to stop in time…a couple hours later, we drove past another accident at a different intersection and discovered when we finished our delivery and returned to that spot that it must have happened just before we saw it as the emergency vehicles are on site and the road was blocked so we had to detour to continue on our way.
glad you were Ok!!
I started reading your blog when my young adult son died in an accident last year. I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone in my life, and since his death my life has just unraveled. My business partnership ended, I am getting a divorce, and I am losing my home because I can’t make the mortgage. I want to believe in divine guidance but I am so overwhelmed I don’t know what to do next. I’ve never written to an online group before and I am not sure why I am, just feeling super lonely and looking for answers.
I am so so sorry for all your loss… you are welcome here.. know you are not alone I send you so much love
Wow, I probably should have read that last week. I spent two days in a blind rage as well….in the middle of gorgeous Galway, Ireland. Yup, traveled half way around the world and spent a grand two days crying and being completely angry at myself.
There is so much good in all of it – I’m Canadian and able to travel to Galway, I know the crying is a good way to break through and learn lessons, it is great that I’m now aware of blocks I didn’t know I had…but wow, I was angry at myself for having them, for not achieving what I wanted and had expected, for not being honest with myself, for simply not being myself, using my voice. I hear ya, Colette, when you say rage. It was Blind Rage.
Now, days later, it’s easier to look back and see the beauty for it and discern whether or not everything I was feeling was entirely mine. The honest Truth is that I’m still diciphering some of it. In the moment, it can be so hard to handle the struggle with grace.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. The one thing that does make everything better is Connection. As soon as I spoke with a family member and heard that things weren’t going how he expected, I felt much better knowing that I simply wasn’t alone and it wasn’t just happening to me.
Sending lots of love!
crying is like watering plants.. helps us grow and be even stronger through vulnerability