Thoughts on Valentine’s Day, and How to Manifest a Partner 101
It’s the week of the Valentine’s holiday here in North America and since we’ve traditionally been so heavily pushed to pay attention to it, it’s always been the week, (when I still did one on one consultations) where every single client who wanted to be in partnership would focus on the question “ How can I attract my soul mate or the impossible question- When will I meet my soulmate?” This is the week where Love and the Law of Attraction dance together. It’s also the week where many of us have memories that make the subject come alive and not always pleasant.
So in celebration and honor of all the aspects of the SuperBowl of Love – February 14th- here we go!
I wonder how you felt about this but, when I was little I loved going to school on Valentine’s Day because we had an important task- to spend the morning immersed in creating evidence of LOVE and devotion on paper hearts which would then be delivered to everyone in the class in the afternoon. I was taught it was a day to value love in all forms and one to give and receive declarations of love. No one was left out and sometimes you’d get a nice message from a kid you’d previously ignored. Even the snooty mean girls might share their chocolate spontaneously. It was, for the most part, a moment of sharing LOVE that transcended our separation.
To this day I love the smell of construction paper and glue because it reminds me of the excitement and joy of making special cards for my family and my classmates and even my dog too. While, I don’t remember that I was taught the historical meaning of the day I do remember that February 14th was supposed to be like Christmas- a very special day. Until I became a teenager and it got weird.
I don’t know the year my innocence got flushed down the love toilet but somewhere my reverence for the day of hearts, flowers chocolates and friendship began to erode. Everything about Valentine’s Day began to feel distorted, a taunt to my unpartnered self sans Beloved. My teens were spent in longing and yearning for the elusive possibility for a special romantic love and then struggles with Love in all forms- family, friends, even fantasy partners too were scarred by betrayals, and loss and so insecurities took root fed with a constant sense of heartache. I began to feel trapped most of the time and secretly saw myself as a total misfit. Feelings of shame and unworthiness could easily accompany my waking hours, and Valentine’s Day became laden with baggage I was unwilling to sort through. Still I yearned for Prince Charming to take me away and prove to me I counted, I was worthy and he would rescue me from my tortured self. The novels I loved fostered this too. After all what we think about is our reality. Ah the crazy pain of teen angst.
Then in my twenties and thirties as my friends partnered up and got married I continued to drift through unsuccessful pairings and stretches of singledom that came to mean something to me- I was a failure at LOVE, and that meant many things too scary to contemplate.
Valentines Day became a way to keep score until I refused to even pay attention to it since I seemed to always be on the losing end. I won’t bore you with my maudlin story of lost loves and wild heartache and drama, (although they are so entertaining!) but I will tell you about how I eventually managed to extricate myself from the stories of what being partnered was supposed to mean, turned it around, and manifested a most marvelous man! (you pick your gender of choice as you keep reading)
The first step for me was to completely surrender the lie that I told myself that I wouldn’t be whole unless I was in a special relationship belonging to someone. Manifesting a partner requires the paradox of surrendering that deeply held dream and desire to the Universe, and being willing to be empty. Took me quite a while to really trust the process and, in my case, had to hit a kind of emotional bottom.
After a gazillion vision boards, and mucho experimentation that always ended in disappointment I had to examine my motives, the patterns I kept finding myself in and my accountability in my experience.
Surprise! I was the common denominator in all my wild and wooly stories of heartbreak and betrayal.
If you do what you did you’ll get what you got. So I made some real changes in my thinking and behavior and choices.
Valentine’s Day was an important and meaningful thing for me to shift. I decided it would now be a day to show me that I loved myself and to be grateful for everyone in my life. Yes, you should do that every day but I like the ritual of celebration and commitment to gratitude. I rewrote my script around what it meant.
I began to feel the innocence of childhood again, reverence and awe for LOVE in the way I could show it and eventually I dropped my old stories. My wholeness could no longer be measured in romantic partnering.
Yes, I wanted to be partnered but I had to sit down and decide how I wanted to feel in that relationship. Then I had to commit to becoming the person who could be in that respectful loving pairing. And the hardest thing of all was to surrender the results to a power greater than me. Each relationship I thought was “ the one” taught me something crucial about myself, what I didn’t want, what I did, and what I needed to change in me to create a vibrational match to my ideal relationship.
I was 44 years old when I finally met my husband.
By the way, none of this is just theory. I have seen and experienced the results first hand and have the life to prove it. I have my ideal relationship today and it honestly gets better every day as we grow together through thick and thin. It took work to get here though as admittedly I was a very wounded woman pretending to herself that she had done everything it took to heal.
What I know today is that the laws of the universe are always working whether you are aware of it or not. The results are in the mirror of your world.
The world will always reflect to you where you are at, what you really believe and where you are in denial.
Partnerships help you grow and evolve. But first, you need to see yourself as whole, worthy, enough and abundant. No one completes you. You are already complete.
You might have to reconsider many of the stories you’ve adapted to explain your romantic narrative too. I think the paradox for me was choosing to be happy and whole and grateful without one first.
Granted I did not 100% see myself as “whole” I know I’m always going to be a work in progress, and so are you, but the key to manifesting a partner is to drop the longing and yearning for The Beloved as that feeling implies “not having one”. The Universe has an uncanny way of spotting that vibrational pattern of longing and giving us more to want instead of to have which isn’t as exciting as we’d love to imagine.
Of course, the Universe that made us has a sense of humor and equipped us with a staggering array of unruly emotions, many of which lead us into excellent songwriting material but not always where we want to end up. As I teach in Oracle School, (repetitively I might add) we are all “stories in motion”, and all experience, including suffering, is part of our journey through life.
It’s what we make those stories mean that is the point.
So how do we Manifest a Partner?
It’s pretty simple. It’s what I did, and what I coached my clients to do all those years ago.
- Be willing to do the self-evolution and healing work on-going.
- Don’t expect anyone to complete you or rescue you.
- Fall in love with the Universe, then with yourself as its emissary, and immerse yourself in feelings of Gratitude as a regular practice.
- Be clear on how you want to feel in partnership with someone special and start rehearsing it as if you were in a movie.
- Admit to yourself you have no clue how you will meet this person and that only the Universe knows the when, where, and how, and who.
- Recognize that one person cannot meet all your needs nor can you meet all theirs.
- Know your non-negotiables. (a few of mine were no drugs, excessive drinking, or smoking, and #1 had to love dogs)
- Be flexible about what they are supposed to look like. (I thought I only dated dark haired swarthy, muscular masculine bad boys. My husband is blonde, green-eyed, lean, and very Nordic looking)
- Trust that this process works in timing that is none of your business.
- Find ways to love everyone in your life with respect, kindness and compassion- be it a plant, a cat, a dog, a friend or a stranger. Focus on the essence of LOVE and faith and watch the miracles show up just when you least expect it!
Try it – this really works.
So, if you’ve got this far with me, now I’d love to hear from you, so more of us can share our LOVE stories with each other. I send you so much love, joy and happiness today and every day. Happy Valentine’s!
Download the St. Francis Prayer Meditation.
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“ Anything is possible when you open your connection to the Universe”
Happy Valentine’s week, Colette and All.
I believe that at our core, each of us are pure love. I also believe that I had to be willing to let spirit find my husband for me, because I wasn’t a “good picker”.
Much like you describe, Colette, my own choices were tall, dark, and trouble. Spirit chose for me, a very handsome red gold haired, Celtic French Basque Germanic😊😊beautiful man with whom I’d been friends for a number of years, through our adolescence.I was surprised that we came together, but really happy once I really clued in.
We have been together now for 42 years, had two children and two grandchildren together, and we truly trust and deeply KNOW one another. Our union is filled with love, which extends to our children, grandchildren, friends and beyond. I have a Tribe here whom I love! Life is good and I celebrate that. Happy Valentine’s Day!
💖✨💖✨🌹✨🌹✨💖✨💖
Thank you Colette for sharing your story. I can say everytime I look into a pups eyes I see love in its purest form. What a gift that I am surrounded by dogs all day long!
Thank you, I’m on the path to a loving purpose each day, I love my husband but he doesn’t quite get where I am at.
I do try and tell him but after doing PM he sees a positive change but says it’s not for him (so frustrating) so I keep going through the process of change in my positive way in a way I’d never ever imagined I could. Meditation, anchor card each day 💜
SW Makes me nervous I’m not sure I’m ready.
Happy Valentine’s Day 🔮 you do know how to spread the love 💕
The “Superbowl of Love” – I love that. 🙂
my husband often reminds me that they get more of my love sometimes lol
so wonderful and heart warming 😉
BIG LOVE to you Brenda! Keep choosing you, he will catch up 😉
thought it was kinda cute
Happy❤️Valentines💕Day !!!
I loved this blog !
I too love school Valentine’s Day, as we got to make folders to hang on our desks to swap & put valentines in…I could smell the paper & paste as I read this !
I got married at 35, kids at 40ish, divorced at 60…(still good friends & parents for our grown children).
I haven’t dated anyone in years, as I’ve taken the time to fall in love w/ myself, again….& learn & grow (especially, as being one of your students-“Thank You”)
….I trust Spirit & The Universe to send me another soulmate…if that’s what is to be…until then…I have a lot of love that surrounds me & in me…including my 🐶🐶🐶’s.
LOVE❤️IS Beautiful in All it’s Forms !
Blessings For More Love 😘
Great story and so true ! Thanks for making rethink Valentine’s Day !
While reading your words I could feel a subtle shift begin. I’ve been single for 5 years and losing hope. Lost in love stories like a Nora Ephron movie, I realize I’ve been “pining for love” which is closer to doubt! Egad Colette! I will re-direct that love energy!! Thank you ❤️
Hi Collette, you brought memories of elementary school back in such an innocent & pure way, thank you. I’ve had one serious relationship and was so hurt by it that I had closed my ♥️ for a long time. It’s when I turned 50 I realized that I need to put all those harsh feelings aside & be open to 💕 so thanks for advice & lm loving the universe & everything around me and ready to meet my soulmate
big LOVE to you!!
yes yes no more PINING .. it just tells the Universe you want more to pine over!!!
YAY YOU!!! lots and lots and lots of LOVE
Thank you for sharing Colette. We really do need to love ourselves and being partner with spirit and Trust what the universe has in store for us. As young girls we tend to fantasize of what we feel love should be Prince Charming on a white horse was always mine coming to rescue me. As a young girl I really didn’t know just how much rescuing I needed. We go through challenges in life that leads us to certain type of relationships and it isn’t until till we stop and realize where we have been in our life that we start to heal. I feel once we find your way back to the universe of love and Trust in the universe of love and realize that we only need to love ourselves and open ourselves to send love to others then we really truly start to heal and love finds us we don’t have to go out looking for it it finds us and then we choose if this love is meant for us or not. Gratitude is so important being grateful and thankful for all that we’ve been given and living our lives through love kindness and generosity for me is important when we give to others we receive only this time we receive what we truly deserve unconditional love true essence of what we truly are. We are the true essence of love. We shine our light to others and we shine our light within ourselves. Love and light to you and all.
“My wholeness couldn’t be measured in romantic partnering.”. This is the most profound statement, the whole is filled with so much wisdom, but this is the one that stuck out for me.
Even though deep down we know we are all complete, every now and then it bears repeating and remembering. When going the ups and downs of life it is easy to lose sight of this. Interestingly, this is the essence of the Divinity of Life dictum of Hinduism.I like to think of myself as a practising believer of Faith’s including Hinduism and yet I need to keep reminding myself. Thank you! Wish you Colette and Everyone a Beautiful Valentine.
Thank you Colette!
I remember Junior High School would have 50’s day. Everyone would buy carnations for their “secret crush.”
I got the 2nd half – “crushed” when each year I received nothing. Some girls would make pacts to buy each carnations so they would ‘appear’ popular – reminds me of social media and people with fake friends.
Now I’m married but I have had to partner with the Universe and treat myself to anything I wished I would receive.
I feed my pets, fill numerous bird feeders, feed the neglected cat from next door.
Yesterday, a beautiful red cardinal landed above my front door with 5 bluebirds!!! I felt like they were saying, “thank you!”
But a great miracle has been taking place. We’ve been getting a lot of rain and I’ve had to go out in cold rainy, windy weather. Rather than complain,
I THANK the Universe for holding the rain back for just a bit so I can take both dogs out and feed the horses.
It’s been working! My real partner (Universe) actually reciprocates!!!!
My bird friends leave gifts of feathers that I save.
Maybe I didn’t get the carnations or a special Valentine like everyone else but I was given feathers and a choir of nature singing beautiful songs!
I am lucky! I also get special visits from hawks and other wildlife!
Tori
Thanks for this post Colette! You have such an amazing way of telling your story and getting your point across clearly and succinctly. Your message of the steps in manifesting apply to not only a search for a partner but in every other area of our lives. Letting go, trusting, loving yourself………. a true life plan.
Peace and jou.
As I travel on my life’s purpose around the world inspired by people and experiences I so adore is where I find and give love (including YOU). Never did I once think HE could walk thru my front door on a pest control call. As you mention, Colette, universe finds the right one at the right time and are you ready?! TBD if HE is that but that intital moment of recognition and understanding that I knew him has set off a 2 week (yep that’s all) connection of light and love. I knew that part of me was not dead and indeed was preparing this whole time (years). His energy connects a Astrological quintile in my chart. MAGIC
“I stay in this Magic”
At 61 I have perfect timing.
Thanks Colette and trust I read all your writings. Keep IT coming baby. Sandy
Our early stories are similar Colette..I always say, Gods decided that I marry my husband, I had nothing to do with it..I would have chosen someone else…We have been married for 24 years…Vow that is a long time…We have a 12 year old son, and a cat…I love dogs too, but my son loves his cat..So many adventures in this lifetime..Since I turned 50 last year, I am contemplating my second half of life…I am planning a Turkish feast for Valentines day for our family…and chocolate, and kitty cards…Life is good…Kisses to you and all tribe members…Love, B…
Thank you so much for posting this. While I’ve been working on myself for years, (I haven’t dated in 10 years), and shifted much, I realize I have an underlying story of unworthiness. I’m going to work on a different story! Thank you for your transparency & honesty. I’m grateful for your post & continued willingness to share your story.
it’s all about the stories!
YUM!! BIG LOVE to you
Sandy this is SO great what an amazing story lolol. You just know when your soul recognizes the right one. On another note, you will never have bugs! SO much LOVE to you. You are also one of those soul connections I recognized immediately!
It’s amazing this is not taught in pre-school. One day, our civilization will catch up.
Personally, I think those feathers are the most magical gifts of love as they are true and you cannot manufacture them and come from the intrinsic connection to all of life. Blessings and love to you!
May you be showered with blessings love and wisdom!
beautiful thank you for sharing
Thank you, Colette. I was reminded that we cannot affect what others choose to do, be, feel or think. We are solely responsible and accountable for our own success in life based on our perceptions, expectation, choices and behaviours. Do the work on #1 and the rest will follow – in Divine timing. xo
Thank you Colette for sharing. Somewhere between age 16-61 Sound of Music, My Fair Lady and Fiddler on the Roof. ” I am 16 going on 17 totally unprepared am I to face this world of men”. ” I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more. “All I want is a room somewhere, with one enormous chair, oh wouldn’t it be loverly”. Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match…. for papa make him a scholar, for mama make him rich as a king, for me well I wouldn’t holler, if he were as handsome as anything”. Is there a lid to fit my pot?? All I know is that it has taken me my whole lifetime to become who I am meant to be. Not finished yet. Not lonely; quite content, peaceful and freer than I have ever felt before. Maybe my life as it has unfolded has been the prep work for the soul that I haven’t yet met? Not needy, or desperate or even “searching” at this point. “Solitaire” a diamond in the rough whose edges have been polished over the years so the brilliance of the spirit in me can shine through?? I’m sure there is a plan, but I am not the easiest person to reach. It has taken me many years to release the armored guard that was always keeping me from being harmed. Learning to be more playful and not take myself so seriously. Far from perfect and not aiming for perfection, leaves me relieved of that burden. So Not waiting, living my story and writing a new chapter each day, celebrating how far I have come, and enjoying my life and the blessings that each day holds. So just in case, here’s the list; sense of humor, dark-haired, blue/green eyes med. build, intelligent, empathic, interesting, kind, considerate, trustworthy, honest, creative soul, enjoys adventure, likes travel, non-smoker, non-drinker, nature lover, animal lover. I am open to possibilities but not online. Hope he can cook vegan style, or better, enjoys eating out. Doesn’t have his nose glued to tech devices. That should cover the basics for now. HOW WHEN< WHERE?? I leave this in the wise, intelligent universe to give me a nudge; or some clues. HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY to YOU!!!! and to everyone who shared their stories.
You’ve inspired me. Going back to grade school mode and making Valentines for all my business neighbors and fellow yogis. How much fun to focus on love instead of lack. I needed this.
Love to all.
Therese
My husband and I have been married for almost 40 years. We were young when we met, and I had discovered that he had several heavy, serious addictions!
But I was young and very naive, and I thought I could help him and change him. I fell in love and married him. As hard as I’ve tried over the years, I was only able to help him a little bit, and sadly, he’s basically the same as he was 40 years ago, except that he’s learned how to hide his addictions and participate in them behind my back. So, I have the same little boy that I married, and I’ve suffered for it. All these years I was trying to help someone who was not even asking for my help! He enjoyed his addictions and didn’t want to change. We can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change, and it’s not our responsibility to change anyone.
PLEASE DON’T DO WHAT I DID! If you meet someone who you’d like to partner with and he or she has some issues that you cannot accept, STOP…. and walk away! Respect yourself enough to wait for someone who is already able to bring positivity to the partnership.
V-Day. So much pressure has been put on this day. I’m long out of those seething, drum-beat disco days of bio-imperative partnering. Been without any dates 10 years now, after two long relationships (one soul-mate) and spates of dating periods. And now, I’m not even sure how a partner would fit into a full, thankful-filled life I love. Still, I’m sure the ‘one’ would find a way in. Like you say, who knows when or where, and I would add ‘if’. I do not feel a deficit of love with pets and relatives and friends who reciprocate love and lots of it, daily. It’s fascinating to watch the machinations of love in the world around me – a mysterious happening whom no one has ever fully explained since romance began! I celebrate it, as I celebrate loving myself – the original me who has done the work and made a good life. I am content. Happy Valentine’s, creatures great and small, everywhere.
Collette your story is beautiful! You are so authentic! A perfect way to manifest with Spirit! Thank You for sharing this.
Unattached to the outcome of the one I’m currently in that came divinely guided. Love Oracle School with you!
Happy Valentines Day! 🌹❤️
I had to smile at the synchronicity of this post. A few days ago I received an unexpected paper valentine with a heart-shaped sucker attached to it, that made my day. Just like you described, I’d spent my teenage and young adult years feeling terrible every Valentines Day from the stories I told myself about what not having a partner meant about me. Then I’d done the same thing as you, I just started ignoring the day altogether. But that innocent little paper valentine changed everything. I remembered being a kid and how much fun it was to make and distribute valentines to my friends and classmates and suddenly I was able to change my perspective on the day and embrace it in a way I haven’t been able to do in 40 years. My stories were just that … stories.
Thank you for all you do, Colette! I love the weekly posts! May you and all your readers have a wonderful fun and love-filled Valentines Day!
Thank you Colette! I’m in the process of manifesting a loving relationship, and I’m realizing just how attached I have been to the form and the “need” for this person to show up in my life. This makes me think of the “Law of Paradoxical Intent”, a key principle of manifesting, which basically says that the more desperately we want something, the harder it is for the Universe to bring it to us (because the underlying feeling from which we’re creating is fear). To paraphrase one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Orin, a spirit guide channeled by Sanaya Roman, it’s easier to create from the space of “I would love to have this, but it’s OK if I don’t get it,” rather than “I have to have this to be happy, peaceful, etc.” Sanaya/Orin go on to say that if you’re less attached to the form, and ask more for the essence of what you want from the particular thing you’re manifesting (e.g., security, joy, peace, growth, reliability, etc.), there are more ways for the Universe to bring you what you want (and it can come more quickly). I love that because I think in this culture we get so attached to the idea of this or that specific thing giving us what we want rather than letting the Universe bring it to us in an even better way, shape, or form than we could’ve predicted.
Thank You Colette
OMG Valentine’s in public school was torturous, I thought. We had to sit in our seats
while some of the class or other classes came in and dropped little cards in lunch bags taped to our desks. I could never watch who got them or who didn’t. But there was always someone who would only get a few each year, so I would make my Mom by hundreds of these things and I would make them out as other people too so everyone got a least 5, then someone else started doing it too. Soon no one ever had less than 20. Then sweating it out wasn’t so bad for anyone. You know I haven’t thought of this is years (millions) 😀 Lots of Love to everyone, Colette thanks for always sharing and being lovely too!
BIG LOVE!!
love this and happy you do too!
HUGS and HEARTS!!
content is beautiful
Thank you for writing this Colette!! Your words are an obvious act of love from you to “us”. I have still, at the age of 52, never been married, and there is a slight inner shame there because of it. I think I would rather be married and divorced at this point, then to have never married at all. I had about 4 short engagements in my younger years , but things never worked out. I did get my first dog this year, and she has turned into the love of my life. She gives me so much love and joy each day, I wasted so much time on cats all these years, lol. Anyways, your words resonated to be true as always , I just hope I can implement them. 🙂
I’m going to just talk about this week’s reading because I don’t want to have this up amongst the YouTube comments.
Sunday afternoon I had most of my siblings come at me about how they don’t approve of how I’m living my life and what they want to see me do (which has to do with how we’re selling the house I’m living in with my dad and where I’m going to live/create income). Chaos and conflict galore there, and I had to hold my ground. I repeatedly told them to just back off, I’m responsible for my life and my choices. I actually went later on to check to see if the new reading was up but alas, it was not.
As for the soul mate card, there’s been a young gentleman who’s in my thoughts a lot and he has been serving that role for me for a few years now, even though he’s not interested in a romantic relationship with me. He’s certainly been helping me see myself a lot clearer and reminding me of parts of myself I had forgotten, as well as re-lighting my fire.
As for my personal cards connected with this week, I got Fork in the Road, Time for a Nap in protection, and Why?
Thank you for the question in the prosperity section of the first card, as that is the crux of the disagreement with my siblings. They believe I need to grab a job, any job, while I’ve been working on opening myself up to the abundance all around me and letting go of my “need” for money, which is most likely the thing blocking my abundance. “”Who do I need to become, and what do I need to believe, in order to live a life of prosperity?” – this is a question I’m going to meditate on this week. The Why card highlights this message.
And boy, have I been wanting to rest. Again, my siblings see this as laziness on my part but damn, all the caretaking I’ve had to do with my parents over an 18-month period has exhausted me and six weeks after we moved my mom to long-term care I still don’t have a normal sleep pattern. I just want to sleep for a month! The card’s telling me I need to figure this out.
So not much on the romance in the cards for me this Valentine’s week, but time to get clarity on decisions and end the chaos. 🙂
Thank you for the re value of Valentine’s Day. Truly giving and receiving honest love.
This has helped me, I am getting unmarried at the moment and learning to love myself and the universe. And to trust when my true life partner (who ever the universe thinks is) will come along at the right time.
Happy Universe Valentines Day.
I believe! In 2014 it had been almost a year since my separation for my second husband just after Valentine’s Day. I decided after doing my oracle cards that I was going to write a letter to the universe of what I wanted in a man,what kind of man I wanted and how I want wanted our relationship to go. I even put in there how I wanted to say in my home for a couple years so my children could finish high school at the school they have been going to. I asked for a true soulmate who would understand my freaky with my intuition I love a hallmark of cards my sometimes knowing things for no reason without judging me I thinking I was crazy or i I asked for a true soulmate who would understand my freakyness with my intuition. My love for God and Oracle cards along my sometimes knowing things for no reason, without judging me or thinking I was crazy or evil. Handsome good hearted, totally devoted but I also wanted him to have a very important job. I saw him having stripes on his uniform. My dream man and I found each other on Christian Mingle. I was working a lot and it took me like 3 weeks intermittently before I actually got established. Boom! Our profiles connected the first day and we began talking and had exchanged personal numbers to text within a week. He is the kindest man who treats me like men of my generation were taught. Moral of the story, when you are asking for someone it’s ok to put in lots of details of everything you want or how you want to be treated. We got married just over a year from meeting. We lived separately for 2 years so my kids could finish school where they had started. We are now together in our big beautiful home that we share with our 3 teens, 2 mine , 1 his and our 2 dogs. Let yourself be happy. Write a letter asking for what you want, don’t leave out any details. There really is happily ever after ❤️ Happy Valentine’s Day!
Lol SIRI is crazy! Oracle cards not Hallmark, although I love those too.
this is a great story!! Thank you for sharing and Happy heart Day!
thanx for sharing!
fall in love with you – as much as your dog loves you! Doesn’t that feel amazing? I always tell my husband if I outlive him it will just be me and dogs!
I loved those old books by Sanaya Roman!! I read them cover to cover 30 years ago. Letting go the form lets the Universe do its magic to present the perfect representation of it to us!
This was really nice to read today, the 14th, especially the reminder that we are “stories in motion”. I was so excited this year, as today was going to be my 10 month anniversary with a man that is definitely soulmate level and my favorite person. Then he broke up with me on January 26th and everything felt shattered.
He came in telling me he isn’t as romantically attracted to me now, and never really was compared to old girlfriends. He also said he had never seen a future and blamed me for being out of a job for 6 months (I now have a GREAT job that I got that next week.) I thought I was going to walk. But as I meditated, and felt into the whole me and the universe, I was pulled again to ask him to reconsider and come back with full love. He said he couldn’t give an answer. I talked to him a week later to tell him about the job, apologize for some things I realized I had done, and to ask him to restart instead of be where we were. He wanted space but never told me how to do it. I never knew how to do less than what i did.
Even through today, I came in with my whole heart. I feel like a whole person, and i learned to see and undo many past patterns. I am grateful for him. But I am sitting here so sad today that he doesn’t see the beautiful light we are underneath the patterns. I’m so sad to not have my best friend around. I’m hopeful but also trying to live my life. At least I know that love exists and that I am now ready for it.
Thanks always, Colette,
Elyza
yikes that hurts! I send you love and healing for your broken heart. Things always work out the way the are meant to. Let him go and hold a vision for how you really want to feel and be in partnership and see if he returns or you make space for the one that will last. xoxo
Thank you so much, Colette. The Universe seems to be pushing me to keep an open heart right now, so it seems that that is the best way for me to move forward in a healthy way and find what I’ve been looking for. But sitting in heartbreak is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done I think! Thank you for the love.
Authenticity, that is what I love about reading your posts and watching them. Funny thing is even when we ask for signs and get them, we have to acknowledge them, and ‘get the message’. I was lead to look through an old album, Full Moon letting go and all, and somehow a hot air balloon ride certificate came out to my attention. It wasn’t made out to me, instead it was the last man I ‘flew to the moon’ in a balloon with..lol..he lives near me, but he has someone else after many years. So what was the message? He and my relationship was full of hot air? Lol. On This Valentines That certificate sits on my counter, unreturned, I hear, ‘Write a letter Maria address it to my wife..”or “Return to Sender..” seems I get mixed messages from Spirit. So on this Valentines..I do the Eat Love Pray Thing…and ..’so miss him and let it go”. ** I am working on this new moon to set my new intentions, after all if I recall, via Deepok visualizatons, I imagined him into my life so many years ago, so ? Why not someone now? Life is a long time…but we have to give up the control on how the universe manifests..and do our part at the same time. Happy Valentines Colette..I’m working on it.
yay!!
I know honey it totally sucks. OUCH. sending you a big hug. The universe has a plan stay open.
Colette,
I only recently became aware of you and really appreciate your messaging. I turn 40 in July and have been sober since 2002. I’ve done so much personal development work but with the solar eclipse and Valentine’s and who knows what happened this past Monday this week was rough! I really appreciate your sharing about meeting your husband at 44. I met the man I thought I would marry 6 years ago and I have been working through so much to try to heal from that breakup. Putting the yardstick behind me I have a lot of progress and interesting learning but it was tough this week. Your blogpost really helps me. Happy Friday.
sending you a giant hug sober sister !!
Thank you for this wonderful post. It is exactly what my Sponsor has also been telling me. She just smiles when I tell her I have gotten her words of advice from yet another source. Go, God. 🙂
and I am sober 32 years! so from a fellow 12 stepper too!
OMG…you spoke exactly of my grade school experience. I remember not getting but a few cards and how much it hurt. But damn it … I wasn’t going to show it. I set out to find a love that would love me completely. I met him the end of my freshman year in HS. Became the Velcro girlfriend. He had never had a girlfriend so….what the heck, I was experienced in ways he wasn’t, despite him being 4 years older. By that time all I wanted to do was get the hell out of Dodge. I married at 18 and it took me 22 years to figure out I married my alcoholic Mother. The rest of the story is blah, blah. Blah. It took me all the courage I could find to walk away and know I’d be ok without him. Thank God for Ala-non. Fast forward 19 years and I see that all that prepared me for the move of my life. I moved across the country completely by myself after selling me house and having been on autopilot at my job. I have made a successful life full of friends that complete love me as I am have no expectations for what I can do for them today. So many naysayers told me I’d be back, I’d never buy a house, California is just way too out there …blah, blah, blah. Well….13 years later not only do I own a home, debt free and retired, I found a spiritual family I would have never found all those years ago. The universe certainly has our back whether it be a 14 year old girl looking for love in all the wrong places or a mature almost 60 year old that manifested her dream surroundings.
double winner here 12 steps saved my life xoxoxo thanx for sharing!
45 years old and still haven’t found the one. I thought by now I would surely be married. Nope. Just in learning relationships the past 20 years. I’m not a person who needs a relationship but once I get in one I don’t want to be out of one. So at this age to still have to be learning lessons…I’m accepting I probably will be self-entertaining for life. It bums me out though.
I love everything you wrote. I also know that I could have, should have been doing everything for years! No more procrastination now, thanks to you. However, it is somewhat difficult for me since I make it difficult. I was married for many years and then we got divorced. I think we have been divorced for about 10-11 years and I am remarried (such a mistake). I love the man I lost more every single day. He is always with me in my heart every moment of every day. But, here is where you really helped. If I could see him today, I would not want to. I must be satisfied and happy with me. I can do this! Love and kisses for your words.