Dearest sparkly luminous being!
Yes I’m back to myself and not wafting maudlin over our little Olli who is gratefully and relatively stable (knock on wood, plastic, concrete whatever works) now that I have assembled a dream team of the best veterinary neurologist, a revealing session with a veterinary intuitive in Idaho and a mind blowing session with Anthony Williams the medical medium, all resulting in a cocktail of medicines, new diet, and tinctures and vitamins. O and a constant Ho’oponopono cleaning. Whatever happens now is totally in Spirits hands. I have officially surrendered and it feels good and right.
So I had quite a revelation yesterday while editing my new book Uncharted – the journey through uncertainty to infinite possibility. I had written about what happened to me when, after a bout of internet bullying/shaming after I appeared on the Dr. Phil show, I had fallen into spiritual narcolepsy and let Chicken Little take over completely (since it scared the crap out of me) and decide I needed to be someone else, so I hired a branding expert to make me more mainstream.
What I didn’t add in the book was that I had done a reading with my Hidden Realms oracle asking about this new decision, which promptly told me I would be back where I started in short order having learned a very painful and unnecessary lesson. But that “hey… go ahead, no matter what you will learn something valuable”.
I remember the cards I chose for the question was the Lady of Lightning reversed, The Diamond Dreamer reversed and The Spiral Dancer as I had written them down in my journal.
Not satisfied with the message, and because I didn’t think it was correct, I also had consulted the I-Ching, which also began with a warning and ended with an even sterner one. The hexagram was called Shock, and the message was something like “the little fox drowns crossing the great stream after burning its tail” to “No hope until the superior man admits his blindness and eats worms. Only then can he become the true magician”.
Onerous nasty oracle. I decided there must be something wrong with my coins!
Hmmm.
That sounds like it’s saying this is a bad idea Colette!
Did I listen?
HA! I listened selectively to the message and decided that the cards were talking about what had already happened. I also only saw the part of “learning something valuable” which I decided meant “ Great! Full steam ahead” and I decided the I-Ching reading was to be delegated to a “forget that one altogether- that can’t be right” page.
I was so adamant of the course I was on because I knew better and decided all by myself that Spirit wanted this for me too. And I considered I had approached the oracle in a bad mood so that’s why I got a crappy reading. Yes even I can be in total denial sometimes doing the complete opposite of what I teach!
We all know what happened. A week later while I was careening forward on this new course of reinventing myself I crashed my Harley and had to stay in bed all that summer to contemplate my choices.
Now could I have avoided all this?
Yes! If I had approached the oracle with neutrality (something I teach) and dealt with my unresolved ancestral fears about persecution and people pleasing as a survival tactic then and there, the outcome would have been different.
The lesson may have been less dramatic shall we say, but regardless the oracle was showing me my path as I had set it in motion.
I was meant to do the healing work that the fear was inviting.
I was forewarned and forearmed.
Hindsight is always 20/20. The oracle was 100% accurate (both of them were) and in the end that one line was the most important, and although I didn’t have to eat real worms, I had to admit to my blindness to bring about the alchemy that made me who I am today.
Something important was learned and I am back full circle more raw and more real than ever before.
In the midst of it all I was fully aware that I was trapped by my fear and that I was only intermittently awake to my highest good. When the accident happened I knew immediately it was to stop me in my tracks. To be honest it was an extraordinary experience.
After this, it took another 6 months to dismantle what I had begun, and I chose to consult my oracles with a lot more humility. They helped me find my way back to me by essentially keeping the light on the next right action for the highest good.
I can be very stubborn.
So when you work with an oracle they will always reflect the truth of where you are at and accurately predict the direction you’re heading in too.
When you do a daily reading, asking for a reflection of where you’re at you really can avoid a whole lot of disappointment and unnecessary pain. Or you can also find out the purpose of your suffering is in the end to set you free from an old story.
Today my new oracle card class begins for people who want to learn how to do a daily reading as part of their spiritual practice. I’m super excited to talk to everyone live this Wednesday evening. This is my passion and my obsession. Spirit is always listening to us and always ready to give guidance if we’re willing to hear it.
Hope to “see” you there.
Have you ever refused an oracle reading that turned out to be true and still valuable to your personal growth? Ok its Your turn! Please share your experience.
I love hearing from my sparkly special tribe.
Love you always and forever!
CLICK ON IMAGE TO VIEW COURSE
LOL…just today I started out refusing my 3 cards because they were all in the protection mode…By the book, Imagine and Poised. I first thought “oh no”. But as I read what the protection messages were…they were perfect and actually very positive for me. Thank you so much for you Colette!!!!!
Hi Colette. Glad to hear Ollie is doing well. Isn’t Anthony William with Spirit awesome?!!
I, too, “rediscovered” Ho’oponopono in the last month. For me, it makes it easier to accept what is meant to be will be.
BTW, I believe it’s no accident that Thursday is my favorite Hay House Radio day because of you and Radleigh Valentine and I was born on a Thursday. ☺ Be Blessed.
big love oxoxoxox
My cards were Round and Round (right on!) To Be Fair and Mending. Perfect – I certainly still need to learn that getting angry is appropriate, which I have now expressed and can move on to fixing the situation and letting go. The Universal Energies Forecast for the week sounds wonderful and long overdue!
Lol, the very first card of yours that I pulled was the Lady of lightning reversed and what happened then sure got my attention – I got a small and harmless electric shock on something later that day – ouch! 😉 Experience has taught me to always listen to the advice I get working with the cards even when it warns me off something that may seem like a good idea at first glance (or something that I simply want, and NOW!) and to have faith that something even better is on it’s way if I steer clear of it- even if I’m not always happy about it right then, Lol! And, of course, in the end I am always happy I did, and quite curious to see how things unfold when I do follow the advice I get 😉 If I am heading in the wrong direction spirit always nag me with the same or similar cards until I listen and start paying attention… Much love to you and yours Colette! <3 😀 <3
Funnily enough, I recently did a card reading on your site that started with Lady of Lightening reversed. However, I’m not quite sure what it’s relating too. I can’t remember the cards that came after it, either.
I try to come to my own personal readings when I’m feeling good so I can be open and less attached to the reading.
Oh yes, this all sounds very familiar. Lately there have been so many things telling me to “let it go” (your readings, as well as Doreen Virtue’s and also my horoscopes!) So what did I do? I kept trying to make a relationship work, I knew deep down it wouldn’t but I didn’t want to let it go. In the last few days the person in question had proven themselves, once and for all, to be unable to give me love or even friendship. So I’m finally letting it go and opening my heart to the love I really deserve.
Sending lots of love to you, Ollie and the rest of your fur babies! X
the oracles never lie 😉 big love!
Hi Colette! I choose joy, and I trust in Spirit!
Thank you Colette!
Your video is an amazing reveal. I am always electrified at the truth I have found in dwelling on the meaning, all that I need is revealed. Thank you for such loving guidance! Margaret
you are welcome Margaret!
Once in a while I find myself saying… what?? but a couple weeks ago I did draw three cards but I don’t think they were for me. I thought they were for my sister in law instead because I spent a lot of time with her the weekend before and she is in a bad relationship, and I drew truth be told reversed, (he lies to her constantly), not for you reversed, and happy happy. I like to think someone like her Mom hijacked my reading to give her a message haha! Is that possible? I want to take your card course, it’s on my to do list 🙂
its possible only time will tell 😉
Hello Colette,
Thank you for being so open and honest… for sharing your ups and downs and that you do have times where you don’t listen to the oracle. It makes me feel so much better! I’m not alone! I’m stubborn as well and, unfortunately, let my ego take over… and my fears. Yep… I’ve had those same things happen… spirit says one thing and I do another. LOL Then I realize I need to step down a bit and listen. They warn me. They tell me the burner is hot but I still gotta touch it. LOL Just to make sure of course. LOL One thing that has always scared me is ridicule for what I do, so I can relate… maybe not on that scale but I can.
I am sending lots of positive, loving energy to Olli’s situation. I’m so very glad you are alright from the accident and came out of it with new insight. I love your presence and your vibrant, loving approach to this thing we call life. Don’t change who you are for anyone! 🙂
Love & Light to you and your beautiful family.
Carol
thanx for sharing too and nope I am staying exactly as I am!
I applaud your honesty & humility to share your mistakes. Your bravery to trust Spirit’s guidance even after you have made a mistake and especially in the face of bullying. I totally get what you are going thru & I have found that the best gurus are not the ones that claim perfection, but the ones that embrace humility and can learn from their audience/students whenever they get in over their head with their own life lessons. I jokingly say, I have yet to meet anyone, including myself, that has completely ascended & floats around glowing all the time, not a single person lol! I study astrology & we all have Pluto & Chiron in our charts, no matter who or where we are!
I have a lot of issues that I go into denial when reading the cards, so I will just share one lol Whenever I have a financial issue, my first instinct is to go all Type A personality on it and DO something, anything, like right now IMMEDIATELY. Often the cards tell me to be still first. Still??? Really, Spirit in the face of this crisis??? How can I waste valuable time “being still” when I could be making $ to address the issue? And it is sooo hard for me to take time out to meditate, journal, & do my art when I am facing financial issues. The last bout, the cards said I would be ok & everything would be alright, but I just could not see how or accept it & worried myself sick. Of course, everything did turn out ok & I felt so foolish.
Now, once again, the same issue has come up, like it has for many years now. However, for the first time in a long time, instead of the knee jerk reaction of panic, I am able to get some detachment. I see how panic didn’t help & it is crucial to get calm, reconnect with spirit FIRST, then decide on a plan of action. A lot of deep issues behind my financial fears are coming up for me to look at now. Not totally resolved, but at least I am no longer spinning in circles & might make some progress for a change 🙂
It seems that we humans usually trust Divine guidance in most areas of our life, but unconsciously tend to feel certain areas are beyond even Spirits help. The tricky thing is, we think we trust Spirit in all aspects of life, when we really can be quite selective. We will only know for sure when life tests us. So glad you came out on the other side with renewed faith, humility & inner strength.
Thanks for sharing!
tis my life purpose to learn, know, fall asleep at the wheel, crash, come to, come to believe again then come back to tell all you guys about it!
Thank you for sharing the inspirational story of Your Truth, as written in the above article Colette!! Well…I can totally relate! “Fortunately” for me I got taken out of the “Rat Race” and put “on my butt” (Yes, very literally immobilized). I have been “rehabilitating” for over 2 years now, lol. I too have been known to be stubborn (as my dad always says), however I choose to look at it as, “determined”, (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink),! Over this time period, Universe has so lovingly provided me with the Cosmic 2 X 4, 6 X 8, to later be followed by what I call a “love tap”, the third time around, when I got “too big for my britches”… AGAIN!! Yes, I am a “die hard”, lol. I have walked the Earth and Sky for answers and healing for 2 years and 2 months this coming Saturday, February 13th. Yes, a double whammy Initiation into the “Realm of Self”. I just wanted to Thank You from the wholeness of my Heart, Colette, for the work that you do, and for the AWESOME Wisdom you share through your Oracle Cards, videos, books and more. As Synchronicity would have it, I did not come across your work until very recently, but I had to find my own path, my Own Truth, and Own It . I would like to convey to you that your work has validated sooooo much of my experience and helped pull me “through the home stretch” of Uncertainty. This is a very precious gift indeed!!!! Awe and Wonder!! :0 I hope to work further with you in the near future!! Many, Many, Heartfelt Blessings to All that You Are and All that You Do! (((((BIG HUGS)))))
you made my day! so happy for your share and keep coming back for more!
I’m in, will do Colette!! Today’s Card: “The Goblin” Reversed (Maps). Time to go into stealth/observer mode, oh ya! Flying under the radar today. 🙂 I love the imagery on this card! Actually… Amazing artwork on all your card decks! They inspire the artist within. I think I will draw today… or maybe doodle art, hahahaha. xo
Hi Colette
Monday morning has something to look forward to .. Your blog .. Always a tidbit in there for me to work with. Thank you !
Your new card course seems to be right up my alley .. Spirit knows I like that idea .. So I am seeing how it lines up with the inflow of finances .. Maybe it will match up .. Without a doubt I know there is plenty to learn within that offering.
Funny that you wrote about readings and interpreting them properly .. Yesterday morning before going online to check mail etc., I did a three card reading for myself. I actually asked a question about you, as I see you as a mentor and teacher, that Spirit led me to .. I got the following cards .. Soul Mates .. Go The Distance .. By The Book ..
That started me off in a very good way! .. I saw a new client yesterday, I used my hand painted cards, he picked one, his message came through easily .. I also used a pared down version of the workshop process I have been letting come out through me, he responded to it, and he left knowing how to change his story, in a way that works for him.
I first was introduced to ho’oponopono in 2006 ish, when Zero Limits came out. Of course I didn’t get practicing it daily, until my life was in a shambles .. But once I got into the daily practice of ho’oponopono, I did actually start to find the Peace of I within me .. The art cards I now use with clients are created in my daily meditations, while practicing a ho’oponopono based process that came through me in my darkest days .. All to say that after four years of constant daily “cleaning” .. I was led to your website in early 2015 .. Your work, the programs I have taken taught by you, have given me that extra umph needed to step out into the world with confidence in my authentic self ..
So for me, Soul Mates resonated ! .. As I found that you speak and teach in a language that I understand!
Thank you .. Big Love .. Lisa
hi Colette
boy do i know that one
though in review
if i coulda i woulda
but i couldn’t then
i can now
usually
and can usually laugh about it (my resistance) in the process
(doughnuts and hot cuppa tea help)
xoxo to you always, cheers for being a bright star in my day 🙂
I appreciate your honesty… Blessings!
Colette, I loved this! You had me laughing out loud about your I Ching reading. That must have been some wild contemporary translation you were consulting…I have 7 translations and I’ve gotten Shock quite a few times but I never read about eating worms. And there’s plenty about the little fox getting his tail wet, but not dying! Whew! My brother and I have a running joke about the IChing–don’t cast it if you want good news…lol. It’s certainly not a warm and fuzzy, tell you what you want to hear oracle, that’s for sure!
I so appreciate this post, particularly when you wrote this zinger: “you can also find out the purpose of your suffering is in the end to set you free from an old story.” Thank you for that insight. That made my day.
I hope to buy your new oracle deck soon, as soon as I move past my abundance obstacles. In the meantime, thanks for all you do!
Love, Juliet
thanx for writing Juliet.. it was my embellishment of the I-ching’s snooty message not actually written in the book but I know you got the gist!
I, like Kim previously, got Let Go so many times in my cards. It so hard when it’s a family member, but I finally did. I was in you Pilot audience on your TV show. You read me and was so accurate. I actually was in a bit of a shock to how accurate. I want to thank you for all that your cards have done for me. Just ordered your new deck and so looking forward to getting them. Love and Light to you, Namaste <3
thank you Jane.. hey the show is on at 330 pm now 😉 big hug
I first started using the daily oracle decks on your site. I thought they were pretty cool and fun, and thought they had just as much of a chance of “actually working” as anything. Day after day I kept getting the same cards. So, naturally, I was like “The online cards have to be fixed or limited or something.” I went right out and bought one of your “real” decks. Guess what, I pulled the same exact cards…again and again. It didn’t matter how long I shuffled, there they were. If I asked differently, or kept those cards out while I chose more (shameful, yes) I would get cards with similar meanings. They didn’t start changing until I accepted what they were really telling me to look at. Now I’m sold. If I start seeing something over and over, whether it’s something I want to see or not, I listen. And they, as much as I hate to admit sometimes, are right. Right now I’m being told to relax and receive. As someone who likes to do everything full force and “save” loved ones, I find it oddly fitting. Thanks for this great tool!
thanx for sharing xoxoxo
Not only do I sometimes ignore the readings but I intentionally “forget” the questions I asked to get the readings in the first place. :/
aren;t we humans funny creatures even those of us who know better 😉
wow! That message really resonated with me as I have been here a few times..haha
Hard earned wisdoms stick best though ..I am also stubborn but I try to remember to stay open and remember the future is so subjective to so so many variables. I really love your decks and I read the map and really resonate so deeply with all your words <3 Like a moth to a flame. I was initially surprised to hear that you faced so much criticism but realize its the nature of what you teach and that there will always be those who aren't in alignment.I had a similar experience some years ago when learning to tran horses and walked away a little brken and having to regroup.I too am back better than ever but I am so glad I had my oracle cards to walk me through it. Thank you as always for your insight and heart led wisdoms.<3 I am learning so much and right now, more than am very draw to your words.
thanx for contributing Paola!
It hits home alright! 🙂
My personal drug of choice has been the I-Ching for many, many years now. I’ve never tried to read card because I’ve always thought only psychics/mediums could. Now I understand it is not the case but I must say I’m comfortable with my old friend and I feel we know each other so well that it would feel like cheating! 😉
But old friend or not, I’ve often thought that what it said was absolute nonsense…especially when it stubbornly insisted on saying stuff I was determined not to hear…:( and when of course…you get the picture.
I strongly agree with you. It has never ever lied. For good and for bad.
I can sometimes spend weeks, months and even years without asking for its guidance (okay, it happened only once. I was in my 30s and far from anything spiritual at the time) Nowadays it’s more often but never more than once a month on the same topic. I’m wiser. I know better. 😉
I’m very glad Olli is stable (sorry about my spelling mistake last time I wrote. I added an ‘e’ to her name) Hopefully she will continue to do well.
Much Love to you both and thank you so very much for your always witty posts,
Catherine (from France)
thanx my dear,, Olli is grateful for your good wishes ( although she is back in hospital .. sigh)
I’m so sorry…All my Loving thoughts to her and you.
I’m wondering how one asks a question so it receives an answer? I tried via email, but that doesn’t seem to work. I asked two questions: one personal and one could be of general interest, but I have no interest asking here or elsewhere if no one is going to answer.
Thoughts? Answers?
Roger
go to the website and choose a card ( or 3)
By synchronicity, I ended up reading this post, and the line that caught my eye was that you thought you had to go mainstream in order to please the ones who lambasted you.
One thing I’ve noticed about us magickal/healing/shamanistic types is that thanks to our shared issue of having been persecuted in previous lives, an equally shared issue THIS lifetime is learning to embrace who we are, learning to be authentic and that we do not have to change for anyone in our lives. The only changing we need to do is based on what we want, and not what others think. I am definitely on this road, and the lessons definitely aren’t done yet.
I really, really love that you are willing to let your raw human side show, Colette. That, to me, is authenticity at its best, IMO. So many spiritual types out there think they “have to” be super-positive ALL the time, and while yes, this boosts one’s mood, the truth of it is, we spiritual questers are in human bodies and we have human emotions, including the negative ones. For example, I’m an empath/clairsentient, and I am also gifted with a VERY Celtic temper. 😛 So I end up dealing–often in a very Celtic-warrior way–with other people’s BS on how they think I should behave on top of my own emotions and reactions. It is a VERY potent lesson in my own authenticity, so the fact that you, Colette, can and do fully allow yourself your own humanity is a HUGE breath of fresh air, and frankly, it makes me feel like I can lay down my own burden of being so darn hard on myself. Which I often pick back up again out of fear of not being good enough for others, and on and on this lesson goes.
I know I wrote a lot, but hey, you invited us to share, so I did. 😉
Thanks! <3
it is so true though that spiritual teachers feel we have to have our shit together or we have no value and I don’t believe that at all. IN fact what we’re here to do together is share our experience strength and hope with others , say what it’s like when we scrape our knees and most importantly share what it took to heal and stand strong. I love your share please come back and share more!!
HI Colette,
Experiencing some of this myself but not from my own readings. Readings that others are doing for me. I am part of a group of gals that get together every Saturday and we all practice by doing readings for each other.
This past Saturday 3 of the 4 ladies there gave me stern warnings about a relationship I’m pursuing. All of MY readings come out positive and say to plod ahead. All of their readings are warnings for me to stay away. Except for the one gal who was not aware of any previous comments.
My take is this: My cards, my energy into my readings.
Their cards with their energy and I feel like they’re trying to get me to bend to their will. Well I’m not. I’m going with MY gut and MY intuition on this one.
Am I right? Does that make sense?
Thank you for all of your daily inspirations. They mean a lot!
~Felicia
maybe pursuing the relationship will bring you certain lessons that may be difficult yet it would still be worth moving forward. You will know when you experience it in hindsight. There is always value in the cards but the interpretation by others may be skewed by their life experience and personalities. Cards don’t try to bend you to any will.. only a human being insists on self will being the way.
If the oracle in card form or otherwise could tap me on the shoulder and tell me where is the door to the place that I am meant to fill;
that would generously remunerate my service? I might not trust it. Independent me; might think that I know best. But how can
that be? I do know that when life has thrown a wrench in the plans; it is because that doorway wasn’t the best one, and through that
experience I discovered WHY? What I learn through taking any step, or action toward making a change; or decision, is that when I say YES
to something; that I am saying NO to something else. Recently by listening to the teachings of Abraham channelled through Esther Hicks;
I learned that ; If something isn’t a vibrational match; or if I am not clear or committed to the action; maybe feel divided about the opportunity; it
might be warning me that NO is the right answer. Ultimately we will find ourselves exactly where we are meant to be. The decision to
say YES or NO is the process; and it is how we feel; that is the gauge that informs us about the suitability of a choice. Clarity is often 20/20 hindsight.
One of the oracle cards I chose; is A LEG UP. This is key for me and I am not at ease asking for help; and need to learn that everything is an
interdependent, co-creative process/exchange. When I become willing to ask for feedback; and guidance; the support comes from many sources. Man’s
extremity is g-ds’ opportunity. It’s not always MY WAY or the HIGHWAY!!! Collaboration is synthesis of other people’s input.
Man plans, G-d laughs!!! Time is on my side. I need to practice having FAITH and trusting in others rather than attempting to ride off in the distance ALONE.
The END of a road is just a BEND in the road. If I don’t learn what I DON’T want; I will not be able to discover what I DO want.
.
great post 😉
Great minds think alike.
Awesome food for thought, Renee
LOV : )
P : ) ACE
JO : )
GRAT : ) TUDE
Some of the pivotal points of decision appear to be when I rely on Spirit (celestial Mom and Dad, Sister and Brother) to help me decide. Say I have a dollar to spend on the lottery (not just easy-street but a street for me to work/be employed on …) and I have some sentimental/meaningful numbers to play, I ask Spirit if this is the winning opportunity …. I mostly drive by without spending that dollar because it is the only one I have. Sometimes I think I will be the winner. What I truly win is experience and knowledge of who I am and where I am going. Winning the jackpot would solve my debt and open-up a world worth living (non-profit organization and possibly a for-profit one both in tune with the community needs/desires [economic]). At least I know business is a monster when it comes to “the financials” feeding time. Life is what you make it, friend or foe?
I believe in Spirit, that we are touched and healed by “the energy”.
Currently living in the eastern United States Bible Belt curve and most of my life in the Northeast as well as taking into account my religious upbringing I acknowledge the concepts of “Jesus” imprinted on those who listened (Life’s Lessons, moral code, white light of a holy spirit).
There is a power in prayer and miracles do happen, eventually; it helps when others in our lives believe the same concepts with some room for acceptance of change yet retaining the essence of creation in the first place – back to square one.
Spirit Blessings
Light to All Lights
Amen
Healing Olli Blessings
Ruby Blessings
Sunny Weather Blessings
In the Right Measure Blessings
Hi Colette
I, too, chose not to listen and spent almost 2 months in hospital. A few years later, I didn’t listen again (are all Colette’s stubborn lol) and spent the good part of a year in constant pain. So now, I listen! Also, I just received your Wisdom of the Oracle deck from a friend as an early birthday present (my birthday is 12 March, so pretty early lol) and I cannot wait for the two of us (the cards and I) to get to know one another and to use it for myself and others.
Thank you for being you, you are simply awesome!
Love, light and tons of laughter
Haha!! I was just scrolling through my emails, nervous because I haven’t heard from someone in over a week, and apparently he’s not been to the hospitals in town (which is good, but would also be quite normal for him), and trying to calm myself down. I saw your email stating “the oracles have something to say to you” and i always get a little energy bump when I see that, and usually open it right up and do a reading on your site. (Thank you!)
This time, though, I decided to ignore it! Then a few emails later, this one popped up!! So off I go to do a reading. I’m guessing it has an answer to my worries…… 😉 <3
Hi Colette! Love this article! I work with the Divine as well and use Oracle Cards as one of the means to add a more concrete substance to the conversation I have. However, when I read for myself on significant things, I get three other people to do readings for me. I believe that humans tend to be selective, especially when we are so betting on the result!
Good-day Colette and all in your sparkling tribe. It is good to see you looking well. Now I have a better idea of you or more info anyway I think you’re even more amazing and feel more blessed that synchronicity let me discover you last year. Sometimes I do all four of your decks in one day to get the answer I want??? I know I should leave Spirit to deal with those who would harm me. It gets harder when hurtful, dull beings hurt children and dumb animals. At this point in time have seen two msg from the Spirit episodes, the first was very poignant as it dealt with a suicide and it is a year and 11 days since my lover sacrificed his life hoping our two young children and myself would be safe from dangerous, erratic, hypocritical absentee peranting
i