Dearest You,
I woke up this morning grateful and thoughtful.
Not sure about you but when I think about gratitude, for me it begins with small things—simplicity without desire or the need to make it be anything other than what it is.
There is no ambition in gratitude.
Gratitude doesn’t strive for gain or attention, and isn’t concerned with an exchange. It’s being fully present appreciative, and humble.
My gratitude begins as soon as my eyes open and immediately triples with the stretching and yawning of my three tiny dogs.
Well to be honest it’s not that idyllic since Tinkerbel waits on my left side after pushing Bisou out of the way and stares at me from 5:30 am on the dot every morning, even on weekends, to ensure I get up and feed her not a minute past 5:45 am. Then she grabs my nightgown and pulls it and then plasters my face with wet doggy kisses while she sneezes all over me due to her chronic nasal issues in winter.
Still, I am grateful, even if it’s because of them seeing me as the food machine.
I have to separate them because Tinkerbel eats really fast, Bisou a little slower and often I have to feed Coco by hand due to her worsening spinal issues. I call her my miracle dog as a veterinarian gave her not-so-great survival odds, but that was 5 years ago and I am a relentless optimist and take excellent care of my fur babies.
Once everyone is done they all line up for their medications and follow me back to my office and settle into their chosen spots.
I love the routine we have as it grounds me in our tiny world Marc and I call our “small square” and helps create a semblance of order, although that could be debated.
I sit at my desk, dogs at my feet waiting for Marc to get up. I love my perch as I watch the birds and savor the smells and steam of my coffee and invariably end up drinking a second cup. These are all the things that make me happy.
In uncertain times, small rituals are filled with grace.
My husband and I say that our world is the size of the bed we share with our dogs. Our world is decidedly small and our commitment to it is to be honest, open, loving, respectful, mutually supportive, and creative and we tend to it like it’s our garden. We always say that laughter and hilarity would be non-negotiable. When we married we said divorce would not be an option. Our small world comes first.
Growth for me begins with intimacy, but I had to learn how to be intimate and honest with myself first before I could be that with anyone else. In this marriage, I’ve taken down walls and dismantled most of my old stories. My husband has too.
Intimacy is about being brave. I’m incredibly grateful we both have the courage for it. For us it really is very simple—what counts and what makes us happy.
Bravery and courage are essentials when you open your heart to love your companion animals too. There is nothing like it, the responsibility to their quality of life and quality of their death.
Every time we adopt an animal we typically got sick ones (often knowingly, sometimes not) because we have the means and commitment to care for them. I believe animals choose us, not the other way around.
I have to remind myself of this sometimes when it feels overwhelming. We know we sign up for heartbreak but the pure love we receive in return makes us want to be brave when they cross the rainbow bridge. They leave us more, broken open, with even bigger hearts.
I have other things I am grateful for beyond our “small square”.
For example, I think about you, reading this and wondering how you find your happiness, your peace, your grace and gratitude. Maybe you have furry babies, maybe not. I don’t know who you are, but I know that if you’re here we share something in common. We want to be better people, making a better world. Maybe you’ve stumbled on my blog by “accident” or maybe you’ve chosen to join my community that reaches far around the globe with the desire to be more authentic and brave.
You’re not alone. I’m grateful you’re here.
