Have you ever dreaded seeing old classmates, childhood friends or the much-more-successful relatives? No matter how hard we try not to compare ourselves to others or make judgments to make ourselves feel better, somehow we find ourselves in what I call, “reunion avoidance.”
Recently I went back to my childhood surroundings of Toronto, Canada for a book signing. It would have been easy to think about some of my childhood friends’ lives and believe the grass was greener – or easier than my own. What could have easily been an anxious experience turned out to be the best self-awareness lesson I’ve had in a long time. When you go back to where you began you start to realize how far you’ve come.
It wasn’t about seeing myself better than anyone else. More importantly, I saw how far I’d come – by simply looking at where I started, the road I traveled and the progress I had made in so many areas of my life.
So often we get too focused on moving forward to a destination and we create this arrival date of success. We compare ourselves to the success of others when what really matters is comparing ourselves to who we were yesterday.
Have you had a similar “reunion avoidance” episode that turned out to be a wonderful experience? When was the last time you took stock in how far you’ve come? I’d love to have you share your story with our community, please use the comments section – we can all use a bit of inspiration!
Love and blessings,
Colette Baron-Reid
Intuitive Counselor
If you have a question you would like to ask Colette, write to her at AskColette@ColetteBaronReid.com. All published questions and answers will be anonymous – we honor and protect your privacy.
Dear Colette, thank you so much for the sharing. It is so helpful to remind ourselves this way. I have a perfect lesson here : I often get anxious about my progress in developing intuitive capabilities. I was always looking for signs which shows me that I “have reached that”, and I often “secretly” observed and “analyzed “my teacher’s response to me, thinking that his response was a way that indicated my progress.
Finally, I couldn’t help but ask him : How am I doing ?He answered: If you want to know your progress, look back two years ago when we first met, see how much you have changed, how much different the way you live your life now…
good point and poignant too as it reminds us all to be gentle with ourselves as we evolve. The desire to be more accomplished or to achieve progress is ego based. Intuition is not measurable by the same markers, and its our own reflection we see when we look to others for approval. Your teacher gave you sage advice. xooxx
So beautiful
Its so true, I had the same experience when a old friend whom I haven’t spoken to in over 15 years contacted me through facebook. It was great catching up on stuff at first, but after a while I realized this friend hasn’t changed a bit. She still had the same attitude and I felt like I was sucked back to that time. I ended the friendship because I didn’t want that negative drama in my life. It then it occured to me how much I have grown. The old insecure me would still be in that negative world. The great lession for me is I CHOSE who I want in my life. Only positive, enpowering people, who like me, are just trying to get to our destiny..I am so proud of how far I have come!..Thanks Colette for all you do…Love ya 🙂
it is interesting how people from the past also still want you to be the same person you were back then too. Our personal growth is not always accepted by others from the past who have not changed all that much. Bravo you for setting boundaries ! big love, Colette
That’s so funny that you should blog about this this week! While I’m currently rebranding and starting up a new blog, I was JUST thinking about writing something similar! Something must be in the air! Lol I also just returned from my hometown of Richmond, VA and was able to spend a good amount of time revisiting my high school. I had A BLAST!!! It was so great to see everyone, but I also noticed the huge change within myself and being conscious of how my old teachers and even classmates who were in the vicinity of an event I participated in must be viewing me. No longer the shy, quiet girl…but a confident, unapologetically authentic woman! It was definitely a rush, but it was also amazing to truly recognize the growth over 18+ years.
love this.
Honestly I can I once ran into the very first guy I ever went on a date with and I mean first and only date. I was so different than, I when I went out with him, just finishing my AA degree and never having dated before that I had so much to learn. Forward about 4 years later and I ran into him again. This guy didn’t really want to have anything to do with me at that time, still hung up on his previous girl friend anyway fast forward to 4 years later. I had changed so much that I ran into at a local club with a friend of his and I wanted to say hello but my friend was no like no don’t but I did anyway I got up the courage to go and I said hello and at first he looked at me and didn’t recognize me at all! I mean I looked so different physically when I first went out with him I had long hair and then I complete cut it short to a a A-line hair cut bob and there I was wearing a sexy outfit. He suddenly got the recognition look and did the look up fo me from head to toe, it was a look of shock his face that was priceless and he gave me a hug and asked me how I was doing and I said fine and that I was finishing my master’s degree and he was telling me what he was doing. So I told him good bye and that it was great seeing him. I can’t that it wasn’t fun to see the look but also how far I had come from that girl that I was, such a difference in myself and my accomplishments. It felt good!
love this story thanx for writing. xooxox
Colette
Hi Colette..
Two weeks ago, I had to be in Los Angeles for a family memorial. Since I was going to be there, I invited some women that follow my blog/work to meet for a casual gathering. Part of me wrestled with internal fears that they would think I wasn’t “thin enough” to teach/blog about what I do…So much of my work is via Skype these days that having a group get together with people I’d never met in person stirred up some insecurities. But the women were the warmest, loveliest.. getting to meet everyone in person and talk in a relaxed setting was one of the best parts of the trip and made me want to create more small events in the future. It’s always so good to move through these fears..
Love and gratitude to you..
Lisa
I have just returned from my Daughter’s Graduation this past week “Back East”… that in itself should give a slight indication as to my “Life Changes” in the past few years… I had lived back East (same house for 12 years) for most of my life… Education, Friends & Family, Marriage and Birth of my “Miracle Baby”, Divorce and Deaths… in a nut shell… my Life had been “centered” Back East!
However, in the past five years, my 19 year “Relationship”, eventual Marriage ended overnight, both of my parents had passed to the other side, along with numerous others that I had loved and cherished in my journey. My physical health had declined, unexpected surgeries had occured, physical and mental limitations, resulting in depression… yadda, yadda, yadda… you get the picture! … But I had one important “BELIEF”… I KNEW THERE WAS A BRIGHTER JOURNEY AHEAD… There was a “plan in Action” and I gave up MY FRUSTRATED ATTEMPTS at control and decided to let someone else “Call The Plays” … Fast Forward to this past week…
I am TODAY, in the Best Physical and Mental “Shape” of my Adult Life! I was given a “Second Chance” to Advance in my Career with one of the BEST Companies in my field who’s GUIDING PRINCIPAL is the GOLDEN RULE! I had the opportunity to transfer (all expenses paid) to my NEW HOME, aptly names PHOENIX (AZ)… and as the “Phoenix”… I too have risen up from the Ashes to begin a new amazing journey ahead….
So I had apphensions about “going Back East” for this special Daughter’s Graduation… as the “Ex”, old Physical places and faces would remind me of the pain and “losses” from my Past… However, after reading “Messages From Spirit” (A Blessing)… alot of Meditation and Soul Searching work… My Sprit and Angel’s took wing… and turned my outlook into opportunity to see this “journey” Back East as a reflection of all the amazing “Life Changing” Blessings and Discoveries I have achieved… through belief in who and what Life is truly all about… Do I have all the answers-certainly not… But everyday I have new People and Places that are guiding me on the most exciting personal journey I couod not have ever imagined five years ago!
Those that loved me before and supported me through my “darkest hours” could only marvel at the new Me… my conviction in putting the past behind me… forgiving and avoiding “negativity” and moving forward… Not only was I proud of my Beautiful “Miracle” Daughter as she recived her diplomia… but I too was proud of myself for the Beauty and Growth my new journey offers, with miracles and opportinities to achieve in “new beginnings”….
I am committed to continue on this Life changing path… in uncovering the secrets of the Spirit and learning daily patience in uncovering the journey ahead… Thank you for letting me share the wonders with you & fellow voyagers…