Glitter is always an Option (a hodgepodge of thoughts on losing a friend while life goes on)

76 Comments

1. Dear Colette,

   What a strange feeling I get when I read this! My mother passed last Oct 25th and I buried her on All Saints Day, which was truly significant to me because I had to fight for it with the Catholic church she attended, but I was determined to have her service and burial that day and not Halloween or All Souls Day ( oddly for the reason that in the Catholic church it is the day of remembrance of all “lost souls” & my mother was not that) because she was truly my saint even though she and I didn’t communicate in the same language as far as our individual spiritual understanding, I understood loud and clear what I had to do. This time, this year, I am feeling so alone and so strongly overwhelmingly emotional but I am just trying to allow this for myself right now as a way to grow, it is difficult but I know that “it is what it is” for some grander cosmic reason that may be beyond my understanding at this time.

   I did my daily cards and felt truly messaged by Spirit today and want to thank you for the community you have created here. If for nothing else, when friends are not available as they happen to be this particular weekend for me, I have something to go to in a way to just get me started on dealing with some of these issues within me that others, even if available, may or may not understand or relate to.

   I have become a little obsessed with life after death since my mothers passing and am very much in the process of exploration on this subject but not sure why. Is is because I fear my own death? Is this normal for my age of 57? Am I going crazy? Well if I am, I hope to do so in a way that is mutually beneficial to myself and others if it can at all assist us in any way to evolve for our best and highest purpose what ever that may be. I ask for assistance from my angels and spirit guides daily to guide me to my highest and best purpose for this day, each and every day. It is all I know how to do right now, and to try to just stay in the now, while at the same time engaging my creativity & imagination so as not to become too routine or boring as I find it can be sometimes.

   I enjoyed the “glitter is always and option” and relate intimately with the Organizational approach to dealing with the tough stuff.

   Thank you.

   Kindly,

   xOx ~ Mindy

2. Hi Collette,

   I know the feeling, I’m struggling with the death of a family member and have actually been constantly faced with mortality the last few years. Some tragic some natural. I have almost died a couple times myself, it make you look at life differently. What is this? Why is this? What is beyond all this? It makes you realize just how stupid and unimportant so many things are. And what a relief to know that there is so much more after the physical world, and that everybody still exists. I think it better to be happy for people when they pass because they get to explore a whole new form of reality. The scary thing is since they are still with you, they can see your every move!

3. Hi from New Zealand, and thankyou for your insights. My mother passed a few months ago in England. I feel sad, and guilty. She had lived very near us in NZ for 5 yrs and then when we decided to go and live in Australia again with a view to making it a permanent option, she decided she would return to the UK where my sister lives and many of her friends, although they were passing one after another as happens at the grand ages of over 85. When she got ill, and eventually had to go into care, i felt so very guilty for not leaping onto a plane from NZ as we had returned as i got the big “C” in Oz, and just needed to return after the year of grueling treatment. I have insurmountable trouble with agoraphobia especially in airports and used the excuse of lymphoma (which i had) to not travel to her. My husband absolutely put his foot down about me not going because of the intolerable stress it would have incurred – but i still feel really terrible that I wasn’t there for her when she needed me most. Guilt is an awful thing to live with. I feel she understood as i phoned her every single day even when she was drifting in and out with morphine, and i treasure those calls. After she passed and I knew when it happened because her favorite flowers have always been gardenias, and I was surrounded for some seconds with the unforgettable smell of those flowers even though there were none around. I pray this means she understands and is still with me in spirit. Thankyou for reading of my loss, if you do, and i wish you peace and love in your loss of your good friend. Love you Jenny x

4. Dear Colette:

   First off, my deepest condolence to you, my dear one on the loss of your precious soul-sister. Death SUCKS for those of us left behind in the 3-D world!! While we know the reality that they have gone on in another form, but, not being able to see, touch, and hear the voice of that loved one is heart-wrenching…October WAS a VERY emotional month and in hindsight makes a LOT of sense what you posited about the thinness of the veil at this time of year…

   My Beloved, compassionate Mother passed in 2001 and her Birthday was in October….this anniversary triggered a deep inward contemplation and profound appreciation of all of MY loved ones in spirit . Feeling SO grateful for their significant influence in my life’s work today as a psychotherapist and an entertainer.

   It is in this same vein of gratitude that I wish to honor YOU my dear. I am blessed beyond measure getting this opportunity to connect with you in this manner. I want to to express “my” infinite love, and gratitude to you my dear one. My emotions had been on hold for the past 7 years due to my own trauma of a very painful emotional break-up. Because of YOUR gift of being you, I have been able to believe again at the age of 55 that I AM becoming better everyday than I was before being “way-laid” by this relationship. I turned 55 last January and begin my journey back from being a broken, emotionally numbed-out woman to an emotionally vibrant one; finally CLAIMING and HONORING FULLY my higher “empathic” sparkliness! <3

   Thank you Colette, you are a radiant and shining example of how to navigate one's life while embracing the INEVITABLE human messiness. You demonstrate this with beauty and GRACE!!! You make it safe an o.k. to not only LOOK at, but celebrate those shadow parts. It is only in the light of the "son"-shine that we will heal.

   By the way, I JUST confirmed my registration for the Scottsdale event! I am looking forward to connecting with you face to face, and hug your neck! Welcome back to Arizona! Love you girl!

   Michelle Mulnix
   Mulnix Consulting
   Kingman, AZ

5. Hey Collette, I was so touched by your expression of how you are dealing with the loss of a dear friend that I found myself crying halfway through your post. I lost my husband about 20 months ago. It was a suicide. I have three children and have in some ways almost subdued my reaction – so aware of how my falling apart might add even more instability to their lives. Now, after all these months, I have had in the last few weeks a tsunami of sadness, overwhelm, and grief. So much for putting off the inevitable. I do have a very strong faith and knowing that he is still around – just in spirit, and I have read many books on death and the other realms where spirit abides. I find myself crying off and on throughout the day. I am just allowing myself – finally – to feel. I also am pretty aware that this is a time when I am supposed to be in the world on my own terms and not as a part of a couple. So, I feel I am blessed with much understanding, which I thought for a while could help me transcend the tragedy without too much grief. Now I am realizing that the initial months were just me being in shock, and now the work begins to first feel the loss of all the expectations I had for us for our future together, and second to reinvent myself…..this was not something I envisioned doing at 65. Your post has given me such insight and comfort. I love your sense of humor and carefree way of relating your experiences. It reminds me to laugh more and appreciate each moment. I know our loved ones are cheering us on from the other side….they certainly would want us to enjoy our time here even though they are not present in the physical. Thanks for all your inspirational messages….and the card decks you share are amazing! I always get such wise insights from them. Thanks so much for sharing yourself with all of us.

6. Hi Colette:)

   I love you !!!

   xxx

7. I so understand what you are experiencing and I love the hairball description. My thoughts have been traveling a lot lately to my best girlfriend, whose birthday was the 27th, and who died of AIDS 19-20 years ago. Along with unparalleled friendship and memories, she left me her jewelry. Initially I made a point of wearing something of hers every time I appeared on stage. Just last month I began wearing her jewelry again, first to an audition and more recently at a party with personal gateway significance this past Saturday evening. Wearing her rings made me her feel a part of my ongoing life in this side of the veil, and her blessing some developments with the potential to bring enormous joy and glitter into my life. Sparkle on, no matter what shape your boxes are in!

8. Hi Collette, thank you for the invitation to share. I too have felt the tug on my heart of loved ones lost. I went through a long period of time grieving and mourning the losses in my life. My son in law (24) had a rare brain cancer and died in our arms, in their home with his 22 year old wife and 2 year old daughter. The year was a gift but very difficult. As the mother and grandmother and one of his main care givers my heart broke every day, yet every day with him, every extra hour he had with his daughter and wife was a gift. The balance of heart ache and joy was difficult. Loosing him was difficult and the effects on my daughter and granddaughter have been deep and difficult. a month before his death I held a dear friend of 33 years while she too crossed over. The month after his death I laid with my dear grandmother, whom I had been sole care giver to for over 5 years, while she took her last breath and said good by. And within that same time frame 2 other dear dear relatives passed. It was a time of great courage and love and pain. I have learned, I have changed, I have grown, I was blessed, I was released. (it is so hard to condense this into a cohesive picture.
   Now, a year has past, I have grieved, mourned, honoured and cried as needed as I honoured my feelings.
   I am 49 for 3 more months. I am going through such personal growth and change. My spirit has opened wider than ever before. I am filled with love and joy and such an excitement for the next chapter. BUT….. my 26 years of marriages has taken a back seat for many years and the lack of emotional availability and connectedness to my husband can no longer be ignored. So I find myself back in fear and stress as we try, each in our own way to see if the relationship can withstand any more. And in fact we have both agreed it has to change… but both are resistant to changing really. I am a different person… I let go of ego as soon as I recognize it (it takes much effort right now). I am wrestling with such fears and anxiety and making baby steps of progress along the way. Currently I have moved out for a moth and am trying to convince my husband to attend counseling, my two children are angry with me and I have never felt so alone. YET I KNOW that the very best is coming. I try not to project too far as the fear just gets way ahead of me. I have no source of income and am unable to work. My husband has worked hard all of his life and I fear how a this will hit him financially as that is of great worth and importance to him. My granddaughter is my greatest joy and love as I lived with them while caring for her dad and now her mom, my daughter won’t let me see her… so yah… the fear and anguish is there… BUT….I trust it to work out to my very best… I just hope to survive the process and actually more than survive… thrive and live in assuran and faith. My husband does not share my believes in the spiritual world and relies soley on his own power and strength… this creates just one more gap between us…
   I don’t really know where I was going with all this but to say that yes… recently I have felt a little more deeply the precense of my departed loved ones. And soon I can say I also don’t care what other people think “im bringing my own sheets”…. NOW is MY time!!!
   thank you for the wonderful light, encouragement and support you are!
   Lynn

9. I lost my Mom back in 2002. I miss her each and every day. The older I get, the more I understand where she was coming from as she got older. I understand her fears, her sorrows, and the little things that brought her happiness. So here I am now, age 65, retired, living with my two feline roommates (also females – it’s a girls only club) and I have also recently moved. I have downsized with a capital D and after a month I am still rearranging and finding the best flow for my things. More than that, I am giving myself the gift of silence and the time to really sit and talk to her the way I should have talked to her while she was still here with us, although towards the end she became first paranoid, then depressed, then … gone. This time of year I feel her presence when I am pulled to getting out my knitting needles and crochet hooks and loving the feel of yarn in my hands, the skills my mother taught me that makes me feel so very connected to her. I love that you are taking your friend shopping with you. I sit with my needlework and ask her hands to guide mine, and perhaps as I stitch she might share some wisdom with me. It still makes me sad, but it finally does give me peace.

10. My Dear Collette…
    I SO KNOW of that which you speak. To put it bluntly, I’m in the “funeral business”… and have been since I was 14. I’m a funeral musician and I also am an In-House Celebrant for the funeral homes in this city. Life is amazing. Death is amazing….but in so many different ways. As of this Thursday, I will have done 15 funerals in fourteen days. (I’m a little “toasty” at this point.) It’s HUGE energy…and no small task….but….the BLESSINGS are IMMENSE!

    Those who go before us are SO ALIVE! And yet….we MISS them…grieve them…want SO to TOUCH them just one more time….or a million more times.
    Through all of this, I still have to do groceries, feed the dogs and cats, cook….all the “stuff” that we ALL have to do…and through it, the veil between worlds, (for ME) is always pretty thin…(partially due to factors at the time of my birth)….

    I’m a counseling astrologer and Tarot person as well. THANK GOD! These two “arts” have been my “go to” for centering and grounding for the last 35 years of my life. Today’s “Daily Pick” from your “Hidden Realms” deck was IMMENSELY ON for something I’m dealing with right now….SO good!

    So, my dear Cancer, Thanks for the work you do….and I’m THRILLED for YOU that you love your new home and hearth….as it SHOULD BE! NH has lost a wonderful community member, though…I must say….(clearly…I’m FROM there!)

    Continue on in YOUR journey of space and time, polarity/duality…..It’s ALWAYS a ride….ALWAYS a trip….ALWAYS a gift!
    Blessed BE this day to you, Colette.
    Go gently….
    Victoria

11. Dear Colette:
    My ex-husband passed away this year, leaving behind his six children and two ex-wives, as well as his remaining siblings and his father. There was so much turmoil surrounding his death because of so many hard feelings he had conjured up while he was living. He was barely on speaking terms with any of his children, despite how much (I think) he loved them, and there was more or less a brawl between his siblings and the children over what to do with his remains. It was literally all I could do to hold that protected space for my children and step children so that they, the legal heirs, could have their say. They were rewarded by having the aunts and cousins steal their father’s most valuable belongings: the artwork he created, our wedding rings, etc. To be able to just stay at peace was difficult. My children were not even invited to their father’s funeral service.

    We will be going out to distribute his ashes in the mountains in December, divide the last of his belongings, and put him to rest. I created an altar for Dia de los Muertos to honor his presence in our lives, for all that he did teach us, for all that he did love, and each of my children did the same at their homes. What else can you do besides honor the good things, remember the lessons learned, and move forward with as much grace and dignity as you can muster?

    I am sorry for your friend’s passing, but it sounds as if you can carry her memory joyfully with you, and that is just lovely. Many blessings to you and thank you for all your messages of hope.

    Ellen

12. Hi Colette,

    I don’t normally write back on these, even when I read them. Today, though, I felt you could use the extra support. Not that you need “support”, but rather just an extra hug in the form of a reply.

    Oddly, I’ve lost 2 people in the last year. One was my niece last Oct 25, just as Mindy in the 1st reply. It was not natural or through disease, but by tragic means. I’ll spare the details here. The other loss was of my best friend, who passed a few days after my birthday last Jan. She died of the big “C”, too.

    Lately, I’ve noticed many people with “C” talking about dying with grace. I’m not sure what that means. I guess I do, but how is that supposed to make me feel better? I want to shout, “Who cares?! Why does she have to die at all, especially of cancer?” I struggle to get it. But at the same time, I recognize she’s finally at peace and is healing for real – and to her core – which she wasn’t able to do here on Earth. It’s the only comfort I have.

    I’m not sure if this entry is helpful, hurtful, or neutral. I just wanted to reach out to appreciate you for writing it in the first place. I sincerely like you’re colorful way of sharing stories.

    Many blessings, and a big hug,
    Judy

13. Hi Colette , every day when I awake or go to sleep, I ask what is my purpose is here . I lost my son Dustin on July 31 /2012 2 weeks after his 18 birthday. Life around me continues to rush by as I seem to stand still. There have been signs that he is with me and I am so grateful for them but it’s like an addiction I keep wanting more! I’m grateful for my family here but also for my faith in the other side . If it wasn’t for that I’m not sure how I would function. So I continue to move forward doing the things that are required to move thru each day always praying to my angels for inner strength and guidance and the ability to listen .

14. A beautiful post today Colette. Thank you for sharing your loss. I lost my Dad last September and one of my closest friends this past June. Although like you, I also know that we don’t die but change form, I still struggle with the physical loss of both these dear souls. As my life continues to morph and change, I realize that life is all about moving with the Divine flow, honoring each day and doing my best to be open hearted and conscious no matter what might be going on in my life. It’s been a wild ride these last few years, landing in a leadership position that I didn’t intend to be in and learning how to stand in my own personal power authentically, with Divine Grace. At 56 I am continuing to learn, evolve and am grateful for the wisdom and tools you provide. Thank you!

15. I had the pleasure of being in the audience when you were taping your show in Toronto. Even with all the make-up needed for TV, you still had a youthful look. I would have never thought you were over 50. As long as you keep physically active, I believe you will maintain that youthful appearance – with or without make-up.

16. Hi Colette – Saw you for the first time on the first day of taping for your new show and alas now that I read this blog I think, of course you are a Cancer (me too July 1st). Almost every speaker/writer I have ever read that REALLY resonates with me usually is. I absolutely get the whole order thing – in fact I could write a book on it. And at the same time when you know life IS fleeting and impertinent and you try to prioritize in these moments of ‘3D’ when you lose a loved one it makes you rethink. I’m right there with you. With all the events last week in Canada and a young soldier being killed right at the Tomb of the Unamed Soldier it set off all sorts of emotions for me (and tears of course). Same conversation with myself – why do I need order so much in my material home? why am I constantly nagging my kids to clean up now that I have found some semblance of order finally? why am I weeping so much for the death of this 24 year old man? I thank God it wasn’t one of my sons…and at the same time I have a conversation with my 20 year old saying yes the soul is eternal and if I had to pick a death this one was poetic, and honourable, and it brought an entire nation together more united than the day before – and yet thank God it wasn’t my child as I wept for his parents. The logic is there but so is the pain. Excitement today as Baseboard arrives and my home is looking better and better and things are slowly getting into their ‘place’ after a recent move and renos (too fast and too much sent me into a tailspin I literally think rocked me into a different energy) – and I go between that impatient need for order and the thoughts about the ‘letting go’ piece of life – wondering how I honour my departed loved ones and how I prioritize that – and then moments of just missing them and wishing, despite all my logic, knowing they’re ‘with me’, that they were with me. Hugs to you on the loss of your friend fellow Cancer 🙂

17. YEO COLETTE. SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LOSE. MY ONLY BROTHER AN FAVORITE UNCLE JUST LEFT FOR OUR REAL HOME LAST WEEK TOO. BE STRONG COLETTE , I BELIEVE IN ALL YOUR BELIEVES , FOR 76 YEARS NOW ( if you remember my dad an his chickadee story ) WE ARE ALWAYS TELLING OUR FRIENDS AN FAMILY HOW IT ALL WORKS . NOW ITS OUR TURN TO KEEP BELIEVING , AS I AM VERY SURE YOU DO BUT IT STILL HURTS ON THE INSIDE . TAKE CARE DON

18. Sending lots of love and healing energy your way. You are in my prayers.

    XO – Kim

19. Thank you Collette for this timely message. My mother died last year and slowly–in stages–I have been lovingly and respectfully going through all her beautiful collections, decorations, and clothing (she loved Quacker Factory clothing and the “glitter”). It is a time of joy, sadness, and moving forward. My mother was a beautiful joy-filled person… and my best friend. I felt her strength this past weekend.

20. Hi Colette,
    I love your new letters and I look forward to them every week! It’s always a good way to start my week off. I find myself revisiting it a couple times before the week is over.
    I’m so glad you wrote about this!
    These past couple weeks have been filled with memories of the people that I’ve lost in my life. Along with lost innocents of my childhood (sounds like a pity party….. Yikes!) these are not things I usually spend a lot of time focusing on but, these past couple of weeks they have been in the forefront and insist on being addressed.
    I felt I had put the pain of loss to rest and filed it away into it’s proper places and frankly I’m surprised when they come to the surface and want to reminisce. I guess I just have to make peace with the fact that are a part of the fabric that makes me who I am. I hate the feelings of defeat and victim and vulnerability and hopelessness that accompany the memories of the loss of my loved ones.
    I was widowed at the age of 28. I found my Mother dead she was 55. I had a friend that was murdered. The loss of my beloved pets. My career crashed after the death of my husband along with the usual expected losses of elderly grandparents etc…… I actually feel uncomfortable as I write this thinking “what the hell!!??”
    I’m 51 now and have moved on and made a new life for myself but I’ve realized that with each loss I too lost a bit of myself. The part of my heart that belonged to them.
    I’m either not able to “tune in to” or not recognizing the signs from my passed over loved ones or, think that if something does happen that it’s just “wishful thinking” and fear I’m reading more into it…. I guess my biggest fear is they’re not trying to connect but all. None the less it all makes me feel sad and sometimes insignificant. I guess I’m feeling a bit raw because of the intense feelings of the past couple weeks…….
    I’ve tried to connect through visiting with a couple local mediums through the years and have not really had a significant connection.
    Again I’m glad you brought up the subject and thank you for allowing me to purge a bit.
    This is a universal subject that everyone has and will engage in in their lifetime so we are not alone and in a strange but comforting way it brings us together hopefully in a spirit of love, understanding and support for one another.
    Most grateful and most sincerely, Dana

21. Greetings Collette,
    How very timely your message. Our very cherished friend for the past 35 years, passed on Oct. 26, very unexpectedly, though peacefully. I received the call a week ago today from his wife, who we also cherish. Alg was in his 62nd year and was up at the cottage with his two adult sons and best friend, closing up for the season. They enjoyed the day fishing, eating and just being together. He went to sleep and never awoke. The beauty in this is that he departed this earthly world in the place that was his favourite spot in the whole world.
    His visitation was on Hallowed Eve and church service the next day on All Soul’s Day. The evening of Nov. 1, I lit a special handmade angel candle to light his way on his journey home to Source. I shall miss his physical presence and great big bear hugs and so many other ways he touched my Spirit, yet he lives always in my Heart memories, and I know he lives with us still in the beauty of Nature and All That Is. With the coming full moon on Thurs. I shall surely connect with Alg, as we were typically in psychic synch during this lunar phase.

22. You are amazing in your eloquence, Colette Baron-Reid!

    THANK YOU for sharing… my deep gratitude to you and yours for caring enough to express especially with the whole world!

    Your experiences and perceptions assist me in “normalizing” my own…. especially in the wildness and sheer reciprocity “between worlds” at this time of year!!

    This planet is in profound “shift status” and whew! I am exhausted trying hard just to remember to breathe through it all.

    Remembering those who have departed is so apt at present – there has been an unprecedented amount of sudden deaths surrounding my life and those I love also, and… somebody just had to say something already! Yet…

    Never did I expect that voice to come from you! And So It Is. Amen & Aho!

    Much love and blessings to you my friend,

    Om Shanti to us all, Namaste on both sides of the hidden divide.

    *´¨)¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
    (¸.•´ (¸.•`* ♡ .•°*✫”¸.•°*✫°• ✫”• ✫ ¸.•°*✫”• ✫ Be Blessed *´¨)¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
    (¸.•´ (¸.•`* ♡ .•°*✫”¸.•°*✫°• ✫”• ✫ ¸.•°*✫”• ✫ *´¨)¸.•´¸.•* ♡

    Rain

23. First, I am so sorry to learn about your beautiful friend’s passing. No matter what our beliefs are, it hurts when they pass. I feel this is a safe place to share experiences, especially when others like you are gifted. I’ve always had some extra psychic ability which ranges in a variety of levels (sensory, hearing some feeling). Anyway, 15 years ago my Mom was admitted to the CCU unit of a hospital an hour away from where we lived. She had just turned 80 and after many years of smoking had managed to give it up permanently 10 years beforehand. However, the damage was done to her circulatory system. When my husband and I arrived at the hospital, she commented to me that she thought she waited too late to seek medical help and doubted if she would get out of the hospital. I didn’t want to hear that possibility and tried to re-assure her that whatever was wrong was conquerable. I learned that she had pneumonia and there were issues involving the heart and overnight they had placed her on a respirator to help her breathe. Her condition continued to deteriorate and while she was conscious, she was not able to speak but she had been asked prior to admission what to do and we had that dreaded document with us. Well, to make a long story short, I had to make the decision to remove the respirator as her body was shutting down. Prior to that, I was talking with my Mom telling her I loved her and that we would be ok. I asked her to let me know she was around. I was an only child so I was doing my best to make arrangements and the next two weeks were a blur. I had returned home from work one day which had been clearly a rough day of emotions and was preparing a roast for dinner. At that time we lived in a small bungalow house and there were a number of bouquets of flowers near the window in the dining room ready to be pitched but I was too wrapped up in grief to do the simple things. The flowers were long gone and no scent or pretty petal could be detected on them. As I went to the kitchen which butted up against the dining room where the flowers were, I opened the oven door and instead of smelling a roast, the whole room suddenly smelled of fresh flowers. Since this was my first time experiencing such an event, I was immediately thinking it was the flowers from the other room and yet I knew that wasn’t possible. Tears of happiness rolled down my face as I knew my Mom was the one who had sent the flowers. At that same time I was learning Reiki and my instructor confirmed what I had suspected. (I could write a book over my experiences but will limit my post to this one). My husband and I were also waking up at 2:30 a.m. every morning and while we would go to bed exhausted, we would both wake from a sound sleep. I consulted Valerie, my Reiki instructor and learned that the reason why we were waking was my Mom wasn’t ready to move on and was worried about us. We were asked if it would be ok for her to hang around and said yes. A few weeks later, I consulted my friend and learned that there were 5 beings of light around my Mom and one of those beings wanted to make his presence known to me. Valerie described him as wearing an outfit that was clearly too small and had a cap on his head. She couldn’t see his face but asked if I knew who that was. Valerie didn’t know anything about my family but I have a picture of my Dad at the age of 7 attending a Catholic boarding school in Canada and that image was what was being projected. My Dad had died 30 years prior to my Mom’s passing. For the next two years I would be blessed with the scent of flowers for about 18 months. Sometimes it would be on the bus, another time between a co-worker and myself. I simply never knew and I didn’t say anything to anyone other than my husband or Valerie. My husband is an engineer and prior to being with me, would have simply said didn’t believe as there wasn’t any scientific proof. However, he has since changed his position and no longer questions anything I sense. I recently learned of a friend of ours having a re-occurrence of breast cancer in her other breast after being cancer free for 15 years. She will begin radiation shortly and we’re all hoping for a great outcome since it has been caught early. I will be helping by giving her Reiki and doing whatever I can to help. Again, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. Hugs, T

24. No matter how aware we are of the final result of living, we are never really quite prepared for it. The impact, the sorrows of loss and the missing physical solid.
    My mom passed three years ago on October 19 & today she would have been 87. My holiday loving mom was with me as I played with my Hallows Eve Toys and danced with me around the Medicine Wheel and sent a Fox to visit as I howled & cackled in the graveyard that returns to my front lawn from November 4 til October 15.
    Shopping and Glitter and Creating and Changing the Seasonal — that’s a big part of what works for me — And prayer and candles and silence and my animals and the living and the Myst and the Shadowlands.
    Tears for the suffering moments, laughter for the wonderful times shared. Peaceful be your resolve — much love to you Colette. Di

25. oh ya Colette i have moved so many times i don’t even know what i have anymore… would love to have it all reorganized in a “permanent” home…. but nowhere i have ever lived feels like that… Oh good, nice to know about your Aries husband not making the bed (i’m Aries too and i don’t either, but i do go for the 1200tc egyptian cotton sheets… lovely!!
    Ya, the most annoying thing about people checking out is you don’t get to see them in the physical again… pretty much my whole tribe has checked out, and it left me feeling like, why am i the only one left here? guess i’m not done yet.. anyway, they still “pop in ” from time to time – i remember when my brother checked out, it was some holiday and i was in the kitchen and i could hear him clear as day (he always showed up for food) what are you making, are you making kugelis etc etc… noooo, besides you’re dead anyway, you can’t have any… some things never change…. Ya, also remember asking a lady what she did on facebook – oh i keep in touch with my family… i said, oh most my family is on the Other Side, i should just have a seance… 🙂
    Colette, they are just a thought away xoxo 🙂

26. I lost an old friend/lover who I had loved since high school. He lived out of town and I was divorced when we saw each other again (15 years after high school). As I had children I could not move to the state where he lived. A year after my divorce and healing we started talking to each other again. I would write him each night as if I were writing in my daily journal. I would mail those to him. His life had been difficult and we both had addicts in our families and had much to share. We decided to meet in the mountains for a weekend to camp. We climbed up a mountain and when we got to the top it started to drizzle. We both suddenly felt a deep spiritual moment that neither of us had ever had before and I never since. After returning to our prospective cities we discussed it often. I remarried someone else and had a couple more children. We didn’t keep in touch because once I met my husband i knew he wouldn’t understand and I had that conversation with my friend with deep sadness.

    One of my best friends and I went for a reading 19 years later and a medium told me that someone wtih his name was trying to get in touch with me. i thought it was interesting but I was still married and nothing had changed in that respect.

    One day while on the internet I thought it would be nice to see if he had ever married and had children. Instead I found an obituary. He had died. Two days after I found the obit was the one year anniversary of his death. I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart. I was so upset that day. I cried all day long. I went home that night and cooked dinner. While cleaning up the dishes, I looked out my kitchen window and there was a red heart balloon right in front of me. I knew it was from him. I asked all of my neighbors if they had had a party and explained I had the heart shaped balloon in my backyard. All of my neighbors said no. It was in June so it wasn’t Valentines Day. A week later while doing laundry in the early morning, the house was quiet and I was thinking of him. All of the sudden the paper shredder went off. No one had used it for a week. I knew it was him. Another two weeks passed and I was thinking of him and I heard knocking on the wall next to me. No one else was home. A year later one of my sons was in a rehab program for drug addiction. I have had countless worries about him. I found out that he was to be released on my friend’s birthday. I knew he was telling me that he was there and had a watchful eye over him. What a relief!

    I think a love and a spiritual connection goes beyond any earthly explanation. I’ll always cherish his memory and I know I will always love him. I look forward to seeing him when I cross over.

27. Hi Collette. I just wanted to comment on all the synchronicities I noticed in the reading for this week!! It definitely does not go unnoticed by me when these happen. Just last night I pulled a couple of cards from two of your other oracle decks that I have and movement came up! Yay! I like moving forward. And the Eagle seemed so significant as many things having to do with eagles have shown up for me this whole past week. Over and over. I love it! Thank you for all you do!

28. Collette…Well, you got me at the sheets, pillow cases and own pillow confession…you, too?…but more especially about how that is okay and just one more affirmation of how important it is to accept ourselves. Thank you. Thank you, too, for the heartfelt thoughtfulness you shared so openly about your dear friend. It is extremely personal to feel the loss of those close to us, but also comforting to know others have had similar responses to it and their own loss. The beauty of knowing these special people, and how they come into our consciousness at what seem to be the oddest places and times, just shows us that it is always up to us to notice small gestures, small kindnesses, a smile, perhaps…as it happens. Right now. Thanks for continuing to share yourself with us…Xo

29. Dear Colette,
    Please accept my sympathies in the passing of your dear friend. Even when we know we will see them again eventually, it is so very difficult to be left behind.

    Three years ago this past June 7th, I lost my soul mate suddenly to a heart attack. We had been together from our very first date, a total of 14 months, 4 days and 30 minutes. Our birthdays were only 32 days apart and the same year. In that time, we only had 2 disagreements – one on my part, one on his, both quickly and quietly resolved by heart to heart conversations. He was a brilliant man – an extremely rare combination of Geek and Macho. He shot guns, had a concealed weapons permit (which he explained on our first date with the promise that as long as I was with him, he would protect me) and rode a Harley Davidson Ultra-glide that he’d custom painted himself. He was an electronic engineer and designer and had his own company, plus 3 patents to his credit. The heart attack wasn’t supposed to happen – I’d nursed him through open heart surgery only 8 months prior.

    At 12:30am, June 7, 2011, my life as I knew it ended. Because we weren’t married and he had no will, I was homeless and his assets went to his 30 year old daughter. I moved out of our home 2 weeks later, placing my belongings in a friend’s garage and borrowing a room in their house. That summer, I held 2 large sales to dispose of most of my stuff. I didn’t really care at that point and without my daughter and grandson, I would have walked out the door, closed it behind me and disappeared. It was the darkest period I’ve experienced so far in my life.

    In the years that have passed, I’ve very slowly emerged from the black hole of grief that almost killed me. I’m still recovering, but I’ve remarried a wonderful man from Scotland and am privileged to call Scotland “Home” now. My great-great-grandmother was born here and to visit has been a lifelong dream. I never in my wildest dreams expected I’d be able to live here. My husband has made it possible for me to retire and spend my time pursuing my hobbies and learning new things. I’m slowly putting the “new” me together and learning a new path. I still miss my love every day and look forward to the time we are re-united, but my life is good. I have so much to be thankful for, and have learned so many lessons along the way. For the first time in my adult life, I feel free to be Me.

    Life is such a mixture of sadness, joy, light, dark, peace, chaos. All we can do is hang on, keep learning and walk our paths one step at a time to the best of our ability. Thank you for your part in my journey. Blessings.

30. Dear Colette

    My daughter died August 1984, she was an hour or two old. My husband died in May 2003 at the age of 45. My father died April 2013 at the age of 83. I cannot say if one had a ‘bigger/harder’ impact on me. Each one is truly beyond words. I started journalling 11 plus years ago and sometimes I wrote an entire stories. I know you are wondering what the connection is? Well about 2 years ago I started for some unknown reason writing “The Story of ‘She'”. In the second paragraph I write: She started unknowingly her slow death by the age of four. At this moment it is this story of “She” that has had great impact on me. “She” is my greatest teacher in me. There is great learning in death. I believe that yes the body is gone, spirits are here. Sometimes our bodies are here and we have had a spirit quieten. Both are a death of sorts. “She” may have started her death by the age of four…………but is finding (in small ways) life at 55.

31. I teared up when I read this, and was drawn to share…..my soul sister Deb, passed thru the veil Aug 2008. We were called the Bobsy Twins, even though 5 yrs apart to the day less 1. She often drops in on me, I know that for I start to miss her…it’s the ability to ring her and tell her about my now very adventurous life that I miss, but whenever I cook figs with Brie or blue cheese wrapped in prosciutto she is with me…yes we both loved food and cooking and that was a favourite dish for the both of us and I honor her whenever I cook it. The love we shared the wonderful fun we had never leaves….. I know she is with me, but I would give anything to be able to ring her and give her an update and hear her thoughts.

32. wobbly, yes but i am switching from a natural thyroid replacement to more of a supplement that stimulates my thyroid and when I get it wrong I feel the wobble but there is so much energy supporting this “much more comfortable approach” that I am in awe. I think that the last moon and sun eclipse revealed stuff that cannot be unrevealed and if you don’t move in the right direction I think you get slammed.

33. Dear Colette: Thank you for this magical site. I love picking a daily oracle card and tuning into the realm of Spirit. Your weekly Universal Energies reading is always filled with inspiration for me.
    The little gem that jumped out at me today was “Stimulate the web and watch the magic happen”.
    Blessings to you and I’ll bet your new home will be fabulous and welcoming. (I know about Cancer people) ( :
    With warmest Aloha,
    Nancy

34. Life is precious.. Life is good … Life is blessed by all who cross your paths on any given day or night.
    Treasure every present moment…
    So the next is just the extension of the Now.

35. 7/6/48
    I have been studying energy work for 7 years now. I am a reiki master and 6th level student of Shamanism-I volunteer 3 hours a week at a local hospice facility. I love what I do. I’ve prayed with patients, helped with the fear of passing to the other side. It’s been an honor to be asked to bathe a patient who has just passed.
    I feel with my training, and intuitive abilities and the knowing that most patients have one foot in the human world and one in the spiritual that I can be of greater assistance then others.
    Sorry for the loss of your friend. Moved to Virginia Beach over 30 years ago because of Edgar Cayce

36. Oh, I too lost a good friend this week. Linda was my mentor. She was 70, classy, beautiful, poised, she reminded me of a Greta Garbo-ish-noir-spy kind of lady…never ever could you get one past her, boy was she smart. She played with the titans…the ‘big boys’, the power players in Hollywood. She was known for integrity and ethics in a world of men (and women) that lean toward greed and lies; taking over giving.
    She protected me and taught me how this ‘game’ works. Her father stormed Normandy under Patton. He was a decorated war hero, one of the most famous. In fact, it was General Patton that announced her arrival to this beautiful planet. It was he that informed her father that he was now, indeed, a father. So, you can imagine, Linda was a Warrior. A Benevolent Protector. A Righteous Bad Ass. She was killed in the crosswalk, in the middle of the afternoon, hit by a car and never woke. I’m certain Patton must have announced her birth on the other side ‘an Angel of Music is arriving’! As I left her funeral service I heard distinctly Linda’s voice say, ‘now run with that ball’. I didn’t quite understand…a sports reference…? We are not sports women…but then it hit me. I’d been aching and feeling like I’d lost my Life Coach….my mentor, my protector…funny that she used a coach reference for me! She was reminding me that life and dreams and each day is our ‘ball’. We only get to play for a short time. I hear her. I’m inspired. I’m ready.

37. Mindy!
    I feel for you and your loss. I think it’s great how you changed the date for your mother’s funeral. Oh I was so lonely after my mother died, just when I had time to be with her more. But we are never, ever alone.
    Keep doing the (amazing!) cards. And keep seeing yourself surrounded by like-minded individuals. Spirit also needs divine timing to get everyone in their right places–so if your inner voice says to do something different, that’s a heaven-sent hint.
    You crazy? You’re just seeing that there’s so much more than this human existence out there.

38. Oh Colette,
    Do I ever understand! That sadness ripping at your heart while you continue to do the mundane things in life. The joy and gratitude for what was and sadness of what no longer is razor-sharp-close together! Ow! It really can make you feel like you’re losing it as you do the splits between the two worlds. Good luck. I know I would have loved Angie!

39. Hi Colette,
    First, I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE 56! Sexy mamma! You go girl.

    I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Good friends are a rare occurrence, so you received the blessing of a good friend. I think there are amazing people in the world, hearts of gold, but I also think finding them and bringing 2 or more such good friends together is a rare thing. At least that has been my experience in life. So many of us amazing women out there , all floating around with such beautiful souls and hearts with integrity and kindness, yet “unable” to really find each other. Losing your friend is so sad, but having lived with her in your life was the real gift.
    I am so happy you are finally settling in your new home and I hope you and hubby and babies make beautiful new memories there as well.

    I feel as you do, grateful for the present moment, the simplest things that when seen through our eyes are truly the most grand. Being able to make myself this delicious soup right now, spraying my tub and shower walls with a new “no scrub” spray ( I hope it really works) going for my pool exercises later , watching my favorite shows tonight that I taped on my DVR, preparing home for my baby girl coming home for a week vacation from New York where she works now and having lots of new sweaters on her bed to surprise her and new eyeliner, and slippers. And remembering how far I have come since my first reading with you in 2009 and the minute you got on the phone, you knew the “condition of my health ” and all the stuff going on because the first thing you said was something like, “oh sweetie, it’s gonna be ok” or something very tender and loving and here I am, 2014, about to turn 50 in 3 weeks, and living more mobility than I could ever dream of, and more self aware and empowered than I thought possible, and the other zillion miracles I could list here. But what stands out too, that cool magic in the universe where miracles happen, help is there to assist, synchronicity occurs, and knowing Spirit, angels, a higher power is “speaking to me all day long” . So fricken cool and so comforting in life when one “gets ” it’s out there, like another dimension , invisible , but oh so powerful. As I always say to you , thank you for all the gifts you bring to my life every single day. Love , Irene (Gardenia Rose on FB) 🙂

40. Hi Colette
    Greetings from Finland.
    Just a short note to thank you for the joy and insights your cards and your blog give me and to send you support in your loss. As beautiful as life is, and as thankful I am for it, sometimes it’s just a b..ch. Your friend sound like a beautiful, wonderful soul that everyone who met her will miss.

    For me the loss isn’t in people passing to “the other side” but in a sense of change, letting go of beliefs and trying to be secure in the “not knowing”. As people come and go in and out of my life, I’m trusting that there always will be new or old friends to share laughter and tears with but it doesn’t make this period less trying. I’m so happy this weeks message is more positive.
    Lots of love

41. Colette – Many of your post recently have resonated with me. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my Mother’s passing and Dec 1 of my sister’s passing too. My sister died at age 45 (in 1995) of breast cancer. She was my sister and a friend. It still hurts. I have some medium abilities but it is not the same. I can not hug her and she can not hug her grand children. I know I will see her when I pass but the physicality is still dearly missed. I do understand the seeming chaos and swings, I too am feeling them. One minute full of hope and then next wondering how will get through the day. “Wobbly” is a great word and the feel for what is going on. Hang in there! Sending you good thoughts, vibes, and prayers in love and light.

42. Hi Colette. Thank you for this week’s blog. It puts it all in perspective. I had a great loss a little over 2 years ago. At the time – devastation. As time has gone on and I have come back to spirituality and finding people like you to help me through I have grown and become accepting of what has happened and that it is all part of my journey. At times testing, at other times uplifting and at other times down right hard to get through but I do. This year’s anniversary was not one of sorrow or sadness but pure rememberance and joy for the time we had, no tears just time spent with people I love and lots and lots of butterflies everywhere. It was a very special day. I talk to him often and I don’t care if people think I am mad as I know he hears me judging by the huge white feather I had on my lawn on Sunday – his earthly birthday. I feel that I have become more accepting and know now “death” is not the end, but a phase in our life to be continued in the spirit world. I love my life, including the tough lessons although at the time I may not see it and get myself in a dither and faith slips. I find it’s all about hanging on and embracing what comes my way, trying not to obssess (sometimes difficult), because in the end the Universe is sending it to me for a reason. Good luck with the unpacking and thanks for being you!!! xx

43. Dearest Colette,
    I am so sorry to hear about your loss, you definitely have articulated the love you have for your dear friend. I know I don’t need to say that she is with you always because you know but I am saying it anyways 🙂 I know we don’t know each other personally but I send you so much love and light during this time and always 🙂

    Remika

44. Hey Colette! Condolences to you. I have not lost any close friends as yet, and I am NOT looking forward to that, at all! (I did lose my sister to suicide, and that was brutal). Even if we know that our souls go on and we are eternal, it does suck not to be able to reach our loved ones over there. however, I do love when my guides and sister give me “tickles/spider touches” around my head, … and sometimes down my neck and arms…
    I love using your cards, and the course was so helpful. But I digress. I wanted to mention 2 books, (this one is especially for you, MINDY), called Journey of Souls, and Destiny of Souls, by Michael Newton. My very close friend, who is spiritual, exceptionally psychic, a fantastic therapist, and her guide have indicated that these books really give an accurate account of what it is like on the Other Side.
    God Grant me the Serenity…. and please God, make sure those on the other side know when NOT to peek at us!
    hahaha lol Alex

45. a special hug for you my dear…. no words… sometimes.. oxoxoxo

46. Hi Collette,
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings on the passing of your friend Angie. I lost my great friend Jodie to the “C” this past July. I miss her, and the sadness will hit me at random out of the blue. I talk to her often and hope she’s listening. After she passed, I asked her for a sign. I got one almost immediately and it resonated so deeply that there was no mistaking the message she sent for me. Life does go on, but Jodie leaves me with many lessons, and the blessing of her deep special friendship.

47. HUG! look forward to seeing you in person!

48. ONe thing for sure and the most important thing I’ve learned shooting my TV show I did over 200 mediumship readings. They do NOT want us to feel guilty … I know your mum would say let it go.. she loves you and would never have wanted to cause you stress. ..set yourself free all there is is love, even if we do grieve they are free.. hugs oxoxo

49. So sorry for the loss of your dear friend Colette. Even with the deep understanding of the Universe we live in it is never easy to give up and let go of the ones we love whether in life or in passing. At least there is some salvation in the memories that linger behind. You know she is forever in your heart and there in that moment when you find yourself smiling for reasons shared only between the two of you. Thinking of you. Pat

50. I loved this quote, “On one hand I am so sad for the loss of my friend and I find myself stretched between two worlds – one where I’m in a grab for control and organization, and the other where I’m free falling into the abyss of knowing that life is fleeting, and maddening sorrow can weave its painful bittersweet vines right through my heart while I search for the right kind of waste basket for the kitchen.”

    I lost my husband last Dec and my whole year has felt this way. I am trying to move forward with living life while at the same time entering and exiting the abyss on a regular basis. It has certainly been surreal.

51. Girl you are so on. I find myself often logging in just to read your card of the day, because it always resonates. Love you are in a new house. Hope it’s magic.
    Thanks for being Amazing. You are appreciated.

    Big love, CW

52. Hi Collette,

    My deepest sympathies about your friend. I too felt compelled to make a comment as my Dad passed away on the 1st of Spring this year from the big C and the grieving and getting on with life has been challenging at times. He has given me plenty of signs like cats showing up from nowhere to sit on my lap or cats walking outside my garden, especially in the 2 weeks between his passing and the funeral. (He was a Leo, like me, and loved cats)

    Reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying was a tremendous help in helping me be the best I could be with Dad in his last days and to understand that death was more a rebirth to the next realm, especially since his physical body was no longer serving him. It felt like I was at a birth when he took his last breath with his family all around and I love how it was on the first day of Spring!

    Anyways, it is now a question of what to do with his ashes as he didn’t leave us any instructions. I have thought of seeking a medium to contact him, maybe even you Collette. What would you suggest from your experience on this kind of matter?

    Infinite Love and Gratitude, Sandy

53. Hi Colette and Everyone,
    My closest girlfriend crossed over two years ago this past August. It was sudden and a surprise for us all. She was 47, vibrant and full of life, love, joy and light. When I was with her sometimes we would just laugh and giggle our way through the entire evening. She lite up a room with her good looks and even better charm and dazzling sense of wonder in people and who they were. Since crossing, I dream of her often. Some dreams are just hanging out. Others are beyond magical. My intuition and spidey sense tells me she is a departed loved one but so much more. I hear her voice everyday reassuring me. I can feel her near me, loving me. Though I miss her physical presence, our new relationship is beginning to grow on me. I just realized that. 🙂
    Thanks for sharing your story. It helped me to not feel alone in my journey.
    Bright Blessings
    L.

54. I lost my eldest sister a month ago– just before we were to leave for a vacation together. I am on that vacation. Every time I smile and ask for directions,make a friend, find the place I’m going, negotiating the train or metro, I hear her whisper,”Atta girl!”
    I miss her and I’m so grateful I had her in my life.

55. Big Hugs Dear Colette! Angie is singing yer song… she wants you to know it’s “all good in the hood!” She la la la loves you! Yeah, she wanted it said just like that! She’s mentioning something about… Oregon? and green? and says “look out below!” She is doing this “spinning” kind of dance, with a big smile on her face, and she is Sooooo contented! I hear George Micheal’s song-Freedom. She also says something funny about —- picking his nose..? lol Oh, and what’s the deal with the toucan/ two cans/ touque and? “Two can do it!” lol (heard in a funny accent that sounds like “Wok wit’ yen”;) She’s very excited and playful. She wants you to lighten up, have fun, let go of any hurt feelings re: those fuddy duddy opinions from certain respected peeps, remember who you are!! Now I hear the lyric “Straighten up, and fly right!” Oh, and she is showing me herself next to a big lion… she says it’s super cuddly…just like you!:) Anyhoo, toodaloo… I hope this helps to lighten yer load and warm yer Spirit, as you have and do for so many!! *Ain’t no holla-back girl;) <3 luvya funky bunches!!! (flowers) xoxox

56. Colette… What a wonderful message to all those we say Good Bye to in this world. I too have lost a dear friend this week… Not of human form but my trusted and loving four legged fur ball… Marley! She too has been by my side through adversity and joy and will be forever in my heart . So many this amazing dog has touched and the outpouring from friends all over the country who she loved has been heart felt.

    We never know how much a special pet can bring joy to so many until they cross over… Thanks for sharing!

57. Collette,
    I can soooo understand your post about loss. I had a dear friend pass over a few years back and I have had a hard time finding a way to cope. I do know she comes round to visit, so I know she lives on. She LOVED Halloween and we worked together in a retail store. Halloween night this year, it was closing time and there were no customers in the store. 2 minutes to closing and we eyed the front door, trying to decide if we should lock up.
    As we were looking, the front door opened and closed and there was nobody there. The door works on a sensor. I know it was her wishing us a Happy Halloween! She was so sweet and fun. I know she’s in a better place. I just miss and need her wisdom in my life. I am so grateful that she drops by to say hello from time to time though. I know your friend will do the same for you.
    with love,
    wendy rachelle
    thank you so much for your positive messages!

58. A couple years ago my daughters 29 year old husband exited his body as she was coming home for a post holiday visit. The reason was never really determuned medically. He still showed us all he was very much alive and busy. I can’t begin to tell you all the ways. It was comforting and heartbreaking at the same time. Still is . Life goes on and you develop another wrinkle in your personality. A way of looking at some of the issues and realize it’s nothing after all. Love is. And it comes back around if you let it.

59. Thank you so much for the share. I admire the way your dear friend wanted her wishes to be . And that it was manifested on positive thoughts and lots of love. Today I spent time with friends that are going through a very bad situation with a loved one . I was able to connect the entire hospital area as I was once in the same situation . Being in fear and not knowing the outcome is so painful. And when I lost my mother in 2006 I was not available for her due to my substance abuse . I was there , but totally not present . I make a living amends daily as I am sober today still:) I found your first book to be comforting at that time and it changed my life along with other things . Now I’m going through a very tough time now then I ever have before . It’s like I got knocked down and I’m still feeling it . But there has been comfort as of recent by listening to the other side which my left ear has had a vibration sound the past few months. Scared me but I really feel comfort of my parents presence . I’m learning to stay in the moment and allow myself to cry and just be … After all that’s pretty much all I have right 🙂 much love and admiration xo

60. Dear Collette,
    First I would like to thank you for posting a new card everyday and thank you for sharing your reality with us.

    As you talk about your loss – condolences – it brings to mind two very close friends that passed six month apart. Sheila and I were friends for 57 years she suffered for many months losing her bodily functions piece by piece, Jeanie was in my life for 35 years she lost her battle with pancreatic cancer. When you have shared your life with someone for so many years they become part of you. They both fought so hard, they kept their spirits high and tried to lead as normal a life as possible. I would fly to Arizona to be with Sheila at least once a month, sit by her side talk and laugh about our childhood and teenage adventures. She said she didn’t want to lay lifeless in a bed, no feeding tubes, no machines to keep her going. However, when the time came she changed her mind. She didn’t care what the doctors had to do to keep her breathing even though she knew there would be no quality of life. We had another soul sister that we grew up and grew older with my very, very dear Ronnie and Ronnie always called Sheila sugar. Ten months after Sheila died my daughter gave birth to my grandson Benjamin on Sheila’s birthday and when Ben was about one Ronnie heard me talking to him. She said “Eileen, are you calling Ben your Sugar “, yes I am maybe Sheila sent him. Jeanie and I would talk for hours on the phone laugh about our adventures in beauty school, our grandkids and her love of the Ocean and fishing. I can’t swim, I don’t like fishing and yet I got on her boat and sailed Long Island Sound. She was stoned and told me to take over just keep the green things on this side and that on this side – oh the crazy things we do.

    Because of the way each one of them dealt with their terminal illness and their fight to go on, I wonder was it their love of life or their fear of death that kept them going!

    I raise my glass to my dear departed friends, my dad and all my family members watching over me … This ones for you!

61. Thank you so much for the share. I admire the way your dear friend wanted her wishes to be . I tried to write my story and it declined it .

62. Dear Colette,

    thank you for your beautiful words. My dear mother just passed over in September, and even though we had expected this to happen, my children, my sister and I miss her dearly. Still I feel as if she won’t allow me to mourn her passing. Ever since my mother left us, she seems to be encouraging me to enjoy life. So whenever I find the time, I get into my convertible, take the roof down, sing along to the radio and drive down one of the most beautiful streets of our town, along the river. That’s when I can feel her joy, and mine. Life is beautiful. Life is joyful. And you’re so right: Glitter is always, always an option! 🙂

    I, too, moved house 10 months ago, and it sure took me a while to make this new place look and feel like a home. It’s so easy to feel frustrated and disoriented after a move, isn’t it?! I’m a Taurus, and just like you, feeling comfortable in my home is very important to me. And I so totally get your „sheet-problem“. 😀 Sheets are important! When I first moved here, and all of our stuff was still in boxes, I went out and got new sheets for the kids and myself, that perfectly matched our new home. I went to bed happy, slept like a baby and was so much more motivated to turn the new place into „my castle“. 🙂 Actually, this place looks even nicer than the old one now. But I needed your post today to encourage me to unpack the last boxes that I had hid away…. ;-D
    Enjoy your new home, dearest Colette.

    Love,
    Susanne

63. Colette,

    I just wanted to add my thoughts on the subject: I remember when I was very young my mother worked nights at the hospital and my father worked days. Since there was only one car mom would have to drive pop to work and pick him up. It was a grand adventure! He worked by a railroad yard so I’d see trains all the time. Of course the hum of the road while riding in the back seat was some good sleep! This was the times before mandatory car seats so I’d crawl up on the floor beneath the seat. If my sisters and I were good mom would stop at the bakery and reward us with hot doughnuts! A very vivid memory, a great time to be 3 years old (yes, I remember this and other things at 3).

    Then it happened; they decided to get a second car. No more early morning/late afternoon rides, no more good sleep, no more doughnuts. Pop would still bring home doughnuts occasionally and that bakery is still there after almost 60 years and the doughnuts are still good, but it’s not the same as that time when I was young. When my father would leave for work I would cry my eyes out. Not knowing if it was the fact that he was leaving as to why I was so upset that he left ( I probably missed the doughnuts!) or maybe it was the fact that I couldn’t go with him. I would soon go on, living in my world as I knew it. As the sun faded in the afternoon and I heard the keys in the door I was excited to see pop open the door. Tired from a hard day he would briefly give us all hugs and look for his chair and evening paper. All was right in my little world!

    Looking back it seems silly as a little kid to fret over a situation that I didn’t understand at the time but at the time it ruined my whole world to see my father leave for work. I believe it’s the same when someone passes. Many times people would ask why their loved one had left; why did they leave them all alone? Why did they leave so that the ones left behind have to face the stresses of life without them? Why can’t we go with them? For those of us who know that there is more after this lifetime will know that it will seem silly after we get to the other side that anyone will be upset about someone passing, but we are not privy to that knowledge; just like I didn’t understand as a child the concept of going to work, and what joy I had when I saw my father come through the door. It is knowledge that we’ll have someday and I take solace to know that I will see my loved ones again and have that same joy as when I saw my father come home, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less for us who have to stay here when our loved ones pass. . .

    Just my thoughts; perhaps it will help someone 🙂

64. How awesome! My sister has been seeing spider webs EVERYWHERE! This vlog is right on the mark!

65. Sandy-please contact jill@colettebaronreid.com and book a 15 min session with me (on the house). Let’s see if we can connect with your Dad about those ashes in the next couple weeks

66. one step at a time.. one day at a time.. hugs from me to you Helen and a hug to each and every person who has posted on this blog. We really are a community here ( even if it’s in cyberspace ;))

67. Hi Collette,

    Looking forward to your TV show!

    Did you know that because of human programming our pituitary gland sends out aging hormones.
    We can reprogram it to rejuvenate us!

    Love you cards and music!

    Lvca

68. Poignant ~ inspiring ~ deeply felt, your words about your beloved soul-sister…especially how she is in your life NOW.

69. So sad to lose a true friend. So rare a gift to have had the opportunity
    to know someone and to open ourselves to another soul. Always loved
    this quote; ” Some people come and go quickly in our lives and some
    leave watercolored footprints on our hearts and we shall never be the
    same. ” Sorry for your loss; but how fortunate that you had this wonderful
    soul in your life who will always be with you on some level.
    I lost a dear friend; just shortly before I was laid off. Maggie was one person
    who made me laugh so hard my heart hurt. She was only 75 which was way too
    young for someone with so much life in her. It really made me more mindful to
    cherish it all; the good/bad, happy/sad because without one aspect; it would not
    be possible to understand its compliment. Sometimes I think I am hard-hearted because
    I don’t emote the way I once did. Somehow I am able to just flow with the numerous changes
    adapt; and allow “Spirit” to provide all that I need. In my control mode; I used to think that I had
    to carry the whole project; figure it out alone; and wear every hat while juggling all the balls in the
    air and not dropping one while dancing at the same time!!!!!! Today I am just a part of a much larger
    story; and it is quite a relief to allow; to let go; and to “share” the process.
    Trust that all of the boxes will still be there; and probably a lot of the contents might be no longer
    needed or wanted so a good time to consider releasing whatever no longer suits and pass it on.
    P.S. You look radiant in purple.
    Take Care XOXO

70. Fellow Cancer…laughed out loud reading…I feel your post entirely & soooo get your current process!! Thank you for sharing. Sending peace & love.

71. <3

72. Dear Colette,

    Firstly, my deepest condolences to you for your loss of your precious friend.

    This blog email has been sitting in my inbox for the last two days and have opened it today. Always divine timing. I lost my brother 22 years ago today. He was murdered… ripped from us too soon. He was only 34. Funny, he always knew he would not last beyond 34. He was my step-brother actually but I grew up with him and called him my own. I miss him so much. It tore our family to shreds when he died. This morning when I woke I thought I would like to write something about him to remember him but didn’t want to do it in the usual way. I usually post something on Facebook to remember him. But have decided I want to remember his birth more than his death. The day is a difficult one non the less. Being Guy Fawkes and all the crackers, which had it not have been someone would have heard the shot that killed him and he wouldn’t have been found only the following morning. I used to love Guy Fawkes but now I just DON’T want to hear any crackers.

    I also lost my dad at the age of 12 and then my step dad when I was 27. I have lost some seriously strong men in my life. I know there is an afterlife but it doesn’t make it any easier for the living. I feel them and know that they are all out of their pain but there is still a human foible we have that keeps missing them. I have a very close relationship with my Mum and we have been through so much together.

    I ended an almost 20 year relationship a few years ago and am now living with an amazing man whom I have known since school days… a whole 28 years. He found me after all these years and I am so happy for the first time in my life. I have the support I have been missing for too long and I have a best friend who is beside me in everything.

    So, even though this may sound deeply sad to some, I am now living in the present and enjoying life. I still have my down days but I am lifted up because of love.

    I love reading your blogs and everybody’s replies. I also have some of your Oracle cards and use your cards online frequently too.

    You are in inspiration to me Colette.

    Love and hugs to you and to all the “cyber” friends out there.

    Jaqué

73. So grateful that you’ve created this place for sharing. It’s comforting to hear others having some of the same kinds of thoughts and feelings around the loss of a loved one as I have. It makes me feel, well, normal. I am more able to accept and process the grief.
    Thank-you all.

74. Don’t know why but I couldn’t stop tears from falling while reading through this. I just want to say than you. For sharing your experience and wisdom with all of us, for giving me the opportunity of taking a little place in your tribe and learn. Just THANK YOU!

    Peace, love and light,
    Pri

75. Hi Collette,
    My thoughts are with you. I know as well as you that your friend will always be with you. I lost my husband 4 years ago and still miss him terribily. I believe and know that he is still around me and my family. I love it when my grandson who is 6 now, tells me when he feels “poppa” with him.
    Love you

76. Hello sweet Colette,
    Thank you for filling my soul with complete gratitude and love and peace. Your words are soft against my long day and I know in my heart God sent you into my world for MANY reasons. I am sad for your loss but as you know it is us left on earth that feel the sadness because we will miss our friends…but the thought that her soul is shining brightly on you (especially through these next few weeks of getting organized) will help…
    Your warmth, your kindness, your compassion…toward all those around you gives me a new sense of faith and trust than I cannot remember ever experiencing.
    Thank you for that gift my dear friend.
    You are my miracle and I love you to the moon and and beyond…and back again. xoxoxox with oodles of love! julie