Hope Not Hate – What the Dead (and Fred) Can Teach Us About Living

“Everybody dies but not everybody lives.” is an anonymous meme that showed up online this morning when I prayed about what this week’s blog should be about.

Lots of memes to choose from but this one was special because when I looked for it again it was gone. So I took it as a nudge from Spirit to grab my computer and riff.

I’ve had the privilege of being exposed to the most extraordinary mentors in the past few years to show me what living is really about. Most of them dead, and then of course there’s Fred! ( my chorus of angels that hum ideas to me about goodness and grace, gratitude, love, and goofiness, and for those of you who follow my Uncharted book club, Fred have recently revealed themselves to be the very same group of angels I met some 30 years ago. And, it’s amazing they haven’t aged a bit!)

In fact I think to be honest I have learned more about how to live well, how to love, and how to serve from the invisible realms and the dead than I ever have from the seen and living.

Through the hundreds of mediumship readings that I have been gifted to provide I have never seen nor experienced such a conscious and clear sense of forgiveness and accountability, love, and generosity, anywhere else in my life.

The ones that have struck me the deepest are varied but all have the same core message about living.

The messages have come from those who in life refused to love or accept their gay sons and daughters, and now come for the sole purpose of asking for forgiveness and to show them the love, respect and care they couldn’t do in life because of their beliefs and consequent choices.

They come from rapists and molesters who connect to repair the damage they did with clear hope that the person could be released from their deep emotional scars. They come from husbands and fathers who didn’t know how to show affection and only want to bring the love they didn’t know how to show in life.

They come from mothers and daughters, suicides and early deaths that froze the living now unable to move on like dragonflies in amber. They come to say good bye and to try to show us how to live to give us the key to the prisons of our own making.

They all want to release the living from hate, from fear, from shame, from the damage of seeing the world through the lens of separation. Not one person on the other side said stay in the family feud, or keep being angry, or stay hating.

They all say we are accountable for how we think, how we act and what we do. ( kinda like karma). They have all said we can choose to course correct and choose Love – now before we die because that is what we learn when we get there anyway.

I gotta be honest. It’s that simple. Love or nothing. Whatever that means- self love, tough love, universal love, unconditional love, compassion, kindness, authenticity and a way out of hatred and fear.

I’m going to invite you to play a game with me this week and tell me how you do as you go along. It’s an easy one but it takes committing to one day – 24 hours of complete focus. Then compare that day with how you do when you don’t add this to the mix. You will surely find some stark differences.

The Love Game

Anytime you have to make a decision ask “ What would Love do?”

Anytime you need to course correct after reacting in a way that made you feel bad ( even if your mind says you were righteous) ask “ What would Love do?”

Anytime you want to text something nasty to someone who appear to be on the “wrong side” of choice. “ What would Love do?”

If Love is what makes you march- march, if Love makes you want to wait- sit this one out, if Love calls for forgiveness and understanding- give it a try. Love will be simple, and Love wants to be shared.
So do that.

That is after all what I stand for. (since so many of you have been asking of late) Do No Harm- Love, Unity, Compassion, Care, Understanding, and Hope and Freedom. I choose these things because I would never consciously choose hate, fear, bigotry, rage, repression, sexism, or racism (and, I’m sure there are more than these but that’s all I can come up with at this moment).
Love wouldn’t have either!

So yes, everybody dies, and not everybody lives, but you and I, we know the way home.

Love you always and forever!

Showing 84 comments
  • Pat Burrows

    Thank you for your wisdom and your passion.

    • Kimberly

      Omg collette you are the best I ❤️This I had to read it over twice and this made me feel so good thanks thanks so much!!

  • Jill

    Inspiring and wise as always Colette! With everything else on the newsfeed today, this is a very welcomed perspective. Peace and Love, Jill

  • Anonymous

    Beautiful. Thank you!

  • Patricia Stevens

    Just made myself a sign to be where I will see it often…WHAT WOULD LOVE DO? For years has used the email address wwld.

  • Chantelle Rieger

    i love this! choice. thankyou for the glimpse into the motives of love from the other side.



  • Cheryl Burr

    Timely blog. Love it. I’ve been doing this on a daily bases for weeks, catching myself when I get angry or agitated or ugly, to just stop and say Love would not react this way. It is working. I find I am much calmer and the little things don’t ruffle my feathers anymore. I find more peace and am nicer to be around.Life is good. Thank you.

  • Sue

    Sigh. Thank you. Whenever I feel uncertain or afraid, I read a bit of my “uncharted” book. you help me so often. Thank you!

  • Tiziana Amagda Morgana

    Thank you so much! I am not a medium, but I have received the gift to talk with my Spiritual Guide, and sometimes with other Spiritual Beings. They say they are not dead, they are much more living than us! And they always speak about love, forgiving, care and other beautiful feelings. I miss my Guide so much (he was a friend of mine and I loved him, and still love him) but I know, I feel, he’s in my life much more than he had a body… only, I cannot see him, and I miss it. About Love… last week I did a full lecture, with three of your Oracles, and with Wisdom of Avalon I had the Love Marker in the middle of the scheme. So I had the sentence “What Love do?” for the whole week ^_^ Blessings of Light
    PS Waiting for your weekly forecast… I wish I didn’t choose the same deck for mine…

  • Kiran

    A much needed message, especially in our current times. I personally have felt that its important to be working towards rather than against something, the energy feels very different.

  • Leah Akiyama

    This will definitely help during my negative self assessment chats. What Would Love Do? Acceptance comes to mind. Intentional Focus on the positive. …love

  • Maria

    How do show up in love when we also need to stand up to someone who had wronged us?

    • Lauren

      Any message/statement can be delivered with Love….doesn’t matter what the message is it can be said from the grounded place of this is best for Love in the big picture. I just wish that we were better at teaching how to do this rather than the yelling/name calling/nastiness that the world teaches “sigh”

    • Dave Stelma

      If it’s “had wronged” , then you’ll find love in forgiveness. The forgiveness is for you to fill that piece of your heart they damaged, with self love.
      Write it down in a letter BUT don’t send it to them. That gives them the power.
      Contemplate on the letter until you feel forgiveness for them being a lesser person than you needed.
      Once you feel forgiveness toward them…..burn it.
      And envision all of your negative feelings floating up into the sky with the ashes.
      Then meditate and let your angels fill your heart with white beautiful vibrating liberating light.

      • Colette Baron-Reid

        that is very good advice. ” except when to do so would injure them or others” is a great quote I keep in mind .. its not always prudent to actually directly make contact.. just to dissolve the hate.. and allow forgiveness to heal you…

  • Marilyn Kurtz

    One Love ❤️
    THANKYOU Colette

  • Shelley

    Colette, thank you for being the clear, unwavering and focussed leader that you are. The choice really is simple. ♥ Love.

  • Lisa

    Dear Colette ..
    I am playing the “what would love do” game !! .. i expect to be challenged but I also expect to RISE to the challenge. Reading the blog reminded of another time and another wonderful teacher i once met ..
    a time when a shaman from Peru came to Canada to do some talks .. he gave a talk at our home .. the main message he talked about “walk the middle way” ..
    nowadays it ain’t easy with all the info we are subjected to daily .. however the rewards of the middle way include personal peacefulness .. personal peacefulness is the pathway to planetary peace .. I am not a dreamer .. I am on the “middle way” path .. peace for me .. peace for all xoxo ..
    thank you, your blog confirms that the middle way is the path Spirit has led me to .. BIG LOVE .. Lisa

  • annette

    Love is the way through it all, thank you for the reminder.

  • Jas

    It felt nice to read this. It feels like ultimately the spirit within us moves towards love. Whether we allow it during our lifetime is our choice as It will eventually happen in spirit if we don’t allow it in physical form. So do we choose to waste our life in anger hate and so on or do we choose love and enjoy the ride along the way? We are ALL headed to the same place as we integrate back. It’s unfortunate though that so many of us have to witness hate ether from ourselves or from another. It is sad. However I can choose love and that feels good 😊

  • Prospera

    Four magic words! At Christmas, I was at a family gathering when a visitor I hadn’t met before demanded to know who I was and what I was doing there. He was so belligerent and rude that I retreated in shock to the kitchen for a good while, wondering why my mere presence provoked such hostility (I’m petite and unassuming). Feeling quite wan, I was startled to ‘hear’ “what would love do?” Then I remembered that our apparent enemies present themselves to be loved. I rejoined the crowd, had warm and engaging chats with everyone, and when he left, told him it had been a pleasure to meet him… sincerely, I might add. Daily, I thank My Liege for their guidance. And thank YOU, Colette!

  • Tracey

    Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    Without Love, what do we really have? This article is my morning inspiration!! A Terrific Tuesday to all.

  • Scott

    Without Love, what do we really have?? This article is my inspiration for the day and I will share this with others today. Wishing you all a Terrific and Love Tuesday!!

  • Mylene

    Thank you for your amazing post and I am trying “what would Love do” from this second!
    Love to you xxx

  • Charlene

    Dearest Collette

    This, the first month of 2017, has found me, depressed, joyful, sad, confused, all knowing and it isn’t over yet!

    As a previous poster said, the energy is very different. I feel it and I am going to accept this challenge and ask “What would love do?”

    Thank you for being here!

  • Laurie


  • Angela Kirby

    Excellent idea…. love love love 💖💗❤️
    I’ll ask Love …. the only way to go ….

  • Donna Isaac

    Thank you so much for this. Oh course, perfect timing, as I have been critical lately. I can see and have great love, as others move through their lives and lessons. I have been asking for guidance and direction on the “self” judgements, as I seem to be swamped by feeling of sadness around this. So simple and so complex an answer. I am grateful. Now to do the work…

  • Jan

    I love this! There will be “What would love do!” post-it’s all over my house.

  • Julie

    Thank you for keeping g it on the straight and narrow. Love is the key.
    I like the exercise, your mantra. I will hold it to my heart
    Thank you Collette

  • Michele Drzewiecki

    Oh boy! Did this hit the nail on the head! Was thinking of “blocking” a loved one on my FB site, since they have obviously “blocked” me. I figured I’d think about it overnight, and make a decision in the morning. My decision was that the issues we have are all on her side of the fence, and I won’t stoop to her level, and not block her. Hoping eventually we can reconnect, as we are actual sisters, and it would be very unfortunate if we didn’t. I’m chosen to keep the love alive, by including her in some of my posts. If she chooses to not respond, that is on her. Thank you for verification! Much love!

  • Michele DeLuca

    These are the best words I’ve read in these very challenging times. Thank you, Colette for your strong and wise voice! I’ve just returned from Russia, traveling with a friend who has been there 11 times, and met with so many wonderful, compassionate intelligent people who just want peace. They touched me to my soul. When we expand your words — WWLD — into the world, peace blooms. The flowers of friendship that result are a gift to us all!

  • Katie

    WOW! Well said … “What would Love Do?”

  • Heather

    This is an especially good post.Thank you.

  • Patricia

    You are such an inspiration, Colette! Keep on doing what you are doing!

  • Leslie

    Thank you for LOVING by example <3

  • Jo

    HI, Thank you for this message…for me “Everyone dies, but not everyone lives” was most important here for me. I love please don’t get me wrong, but, recently I am in a situation that although I am loved I am not living. I know what it is to live and this is just going through the motions of the day. SO I have made a choice that by Feb. I am going to move back to where my kids and grandkids are and LIVE and LOVE! JMHO Thank you

  • Rebecca

    Beautifully shared! Thank you for the inspiration.

  • Michele

    I asked spirit to give me a sign, as to what I needed to do. Love will always find a way. Keeping the communication options open, instead of shutting them down. I will not stoop to their level! Love will prevail!

  • Lucy

    Thank you Colette! As always, very inspiring!! Question: How does one join the Uncharted Book club? I bought the book through Amazon after it launched. It’s truly a great book. Love your writing and the wisdom all your books emanate!

  • Diana Boles

    I could hear the hummmmmmmmmm—-as last week unfolded. It began simple. As an undercurrent. It strengthened to flow as a swollen creek bed by mid week. On Thursday it was the quiet before storm—-the gathering of energy—the swirling, twirling spinning of spheres just before they touch —– Friday brought a pulsating squeal that tried to be heard but couldn’t rise above the widest part of the large orbs that hung just above the granite structures that man put to sit upon Mother Earth – Maka – In the hours of spirit, lights were being turned on as if to feed the Thunderbeings – Wakinyan – to soften the sting of hunger until the magnetic pull of unity, of like beings searching for the common space between the atoms – the piece of peace that unites us all, was fully present.
    The trains clacked on tracks from every direction. Wakinyan was delighted with the fodder and gained strength in its digestion. There was no hate, there was love. The morning star — Ahpo Wi Chapi — became the Gaurdian of the gathering and the gathering became the Quickening — Pita Hochokan — an eruption of unmeasurable magnitude. This had never happened before—-worldwide crying for a vision — Hanblecheya — sacred songs — Olowanpi — people of all walks men, women, children no difference of race or creed – support of the WHOLE for the GOOD of all and the GOD — Wakan Tanka — of all. Matakuya Oyasin. And still it hums, and still it hums and stil……….it…….hums☄✨🔮🕯

  • Dawn

    Inspiring, as always. I will do it. Much love.

  • Ranie

    I am up for the game! Sometimes my ego shows its ugly head. I don’t appear to be the person Love would have me be. Even I don’t like myself after that. Your blogs and your videos have helped me evolve. My husband also walks this path of Love and acceptance. It’s peaceful.

    Thank you, Colette for your unwavering guidance, love, and enthusiasm!

  • Ingrid

    Perfect timing Colette … sending a huge hug … got it ??? :o)

  • MaryAnn

    Love this ! Thank you

  • Renee Sugar

    Such a meaty topic.
    Didn’t Dionne Warwick sing these words.
    “What the world needs NOW is LOVE sweet love; It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.” Maybe a good question to ask at this point is WHAT IS LOVE? Probably as many definitions as there are people in this world. Back to the bible for some ideas.

    Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
    It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
    It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
    I prefer to ask myself three questions Is it TRUE, Is it KIND, Is it NECESSARY?
    The answers will reveal if I am responding from a place of empathy, compassion, or am I judging, criticizing? or trying to punish/blame someone or myself. It’s always wise to not react from an angry place. Delay the decision, take time to see things clearly; reacting doesn’t usually resolve anything and usually injects more discomfort and stirs up fear/resentment. PAUSE. BREATHE, TAKE A WALK. What seemed so overwhelming will shift its importance. Would I rather choose peace/conflict? How fortunate we are to be conscious that we have choices to make. There are many who have never experienced love, so they might attack, as their vulnerability is heightened/intensified. Anger and hate harm the vessel in which is it stored. The hot coal burns the hand of the person who is holding on to it. LET IT GO. LET IT BE
    KEEP IT SIMPLE. Be clear about how you feel, which diffuses the defensiveness of the other person. There are other ways in lieu of violence. Choosing one could surprise the person who attacks, it can take the wind out of their sails. I understand how you might feel. It must be a difficult time for you. It doesn’t attempt to remove the challenge, or make it better. No one can. It softens things, and creates a kinder connection based on empathy, mutual aid. Now that I have said all of this, time to put it into practice next time I feel impatient, or afraid, or vulnerable. ALL IS RESOLVEDRELEASED AND HEALED for I stand in the grace of SPIRIT>
    LOVE to YOU Colette and to ALL.

  • Dee

    Great post! Thank you, Colette!

  • Sherry LaMarche

    You are the first person I’ve ever heard speak of “FRED”. This name is what I had given to my Angel Consortium over 25 years ago. I thought it was unique to me as I often used the term for my “Guardian Angel”, and then I realized my two grandfathers who had died were Edward and Frank, so I had assumed it was a combination of those two. Little did I know this Consortium was already a working group for others. Thanks for sharing!!

  • Barbara Marie

    Thank you, Colette! That’s undoubtedly the best article I have EVER read and I just turned 68 so kudos for listening and passing on the wisdom of your giftedness. I never thought of what “spirit guides” of all types would return to say, but it makes so much sense. I have heard from my own guides and am familiar with some of what you stated. Have an amazing day!

  • Susan McCord

    This was the first thing I read this morning and it made my heart full. I loved this paragraph you wrote:

    “They all say we are accountable for how we think, how we act and what we do.(kinda like karma). They have all said we can choose to course correct and choose Love – now before we die because that is what we learn when we get there anyway.”

    That is such a great reminder to everyone and we need to keep spreading the word on this. Colette you are awesome and I love who you are! You’re an inspiration to all. <3 Susan
    PS: When are you coming to Vancouver, BC??

  • Alexander

    Colette, there is light beings full of light and love, one came to me in a dream with toddler in hand, I could see him as clear as day, he was about four or five years old, he let go of unseen hand of this glowing light being and walked towards me, not smiling, I picked him up and never in my life felt love like that, I sat up in bed by the shock of it with my arms out in front of me. To you I send this love and light.

  • Kathy Reeser

    As always you touched my heart with your words. Thank you for such a beautiful message! “What would LOVE do?” Can I just say Thank you for being such an amazing role model of what “LOVE” would do! I feel so very blessed to receive these newsletters which helps remind me to stay in the know and get back to the light of love which is always present if we are willing to see it. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

    Sending you Love!

  • Kathy Reeser

    As always you touched my heart with your words. Thank you for such a beautiful message! Can I just say Thank you for being such an amazing role model of what “LOVE” would do! I feel so very blessed to receive these newsletters which helps remind me to stay in the know and get back to the light of love which is always present if we are willing to see it. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You. You are an amazing gift to the planet.

    Sending you Love!

  • Bonita

    Excellent post. Thank you for sharing!

  • Richalyn Smith

    This is so spot on for me! My sister and I had a 3 hour chat about all the fear, hate, and craziness going on and it boiled down to the question, “What would Love do?” I can’t (and won’t) follow people down the fear and hate path so I’m letting my Love flag fly! Wise words as always Colette. Big hug and lots of love!

  • Marina

    Thank YOU so lovely. ox 🙂 Nemo, just keep swimming. :)marina

  • Viv

    I read this message today. Yesterday I was treated with uncalled for verbal abuse from a person acting out a very angry tabntrum and as he took off I wanted to send love . I was so frightened I couldn’t do it but after reading today’s message I visualized his face and could send love and forgiveness. Thank you for being you and coming into my life. Your wisdom and your sharing has given me such hope and comfort at a very trying time in my life.

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      you know… its hard I had someone come on my public page to say I was going to burn in hell because I was mystic etc. she has come twice – the vitriol and hatred was so palpable but I had to breathe deep and release the fear ( since it was so nutty and she doesn’t know me anyway) and send love. and more love. Still banned her .. because I want peace on my page but honestly felt so sad as some people are taught to hate what is different..and fear it. And love is the only answer.

  • Lisa

    LOVE this! LOVE you! Thank you kindly.

  • Andreaé

    LOVE creates miracles, it heals collectively, it is from the heart and brings us all back home and there is the saying that “when the power of love overcomes the love of power, then we will know peace” is so true.
    So thank you Colette for reminding and giving us the opportunity here that when we stand still and read your words that as a tribe we are not alone and our love joins together to raise the energy of LOvE vibration even higher and play our part to help heal this world. Love ❤️ you xox

  • Donna

    Thank you I needed to read tbis i dot live and i want to change that but dont know how ..I will start the exercises and hope tbat will shoft this not living staying frozen in time

  • colette

    Thank you so much for this Colette. And again you are so right–what would we do without love..Wish the whole world would apply this to their lives so we could all live at peace with one another.
    I try to always think twice before getting angry and saying hurtful things but I’m not infallible – this will help me remember . Without love we are powerless and for myself I find that my energy dips to an all time low if I am being nasty with someone. Love is power and energy– better than any energy bar. Love your readings, they mean so much to me.

  • Amrita

    Thank you, Colette, for this beautiful, uplifting post. “What would Love do?” Wow, wouldn’t it be amazing if we could get that ingrained in our psyches as a mantra for life? I’m going to have a good try one day at a time! Big Hugs :o)

  • Anonymous

    Interesting…When I tried to put the “what would love do?” into action, the small voice in my head said, “don’t forget yourself too!” It’s easy to be kind when others are kind or grateful in return, but sometimes we have to say “enough is enough.” If it can be done from the perspective of having compassion, saying “no” can be done without bitterness or angst, or taking on unwanted drama. When I said “no” using compassion without negative attachment, I actually felt freer and could feel the love that’s all around me. And if anyone couldn’t be kind in return, it didn’t matter anyways, because the rest of my world was in a different place. I think the sky even got a little bluer 🙂 You rock Colette! Thank you for sharing the love.

  • Nicola

    What would love do? Right now love love love the space that CBR provides for us to real raw real and grow. I love you and I am so grateful to you and the journey that led me here. Many Blessings Colette. You rock ❤️ 🐉

  • Stephanie R

    Phew, wow…just a shot right to the heart with this one, in the best possible way. During the course of my meditations this week, love has shone itself as the biggest, brightest, most magnificent and awe-inspiring energy there is and that to really stand in love and how to be in that love and how to allow it to roll forward. This is amazing confirmation of that message. It also serves as a wonderful reminder for me to use “What would Love do?” before engaging and then listen to what Love has to say about that and acting from Love. Thank you. <3 <3 <3

  • Grateful

    Tears stream down my face as truth rings clear in my heart.

  • Grateful

    Tears stream down my face as truth rings in my heart.

  • Doreen

    Thank you for this. Great reminder. This is always available to us and where magic happens. Thank you

  • Kim P

    Thank you for Love! Life is so much better when we just Love. Not always easy. Then I remind myself I’m not alone… lean on Spirit! I loved this Blog. It made me think of the opportunities that await for sharing Love!

  • Emilia

    Am appreciating this blog. Thankyou. Great reminder to focus on Love & truly Living. I drew a card of “Forgiveness” this morning(to my bewilderment):) There is a song which I associate with my father(over there with Fred perhaps) called “In The Living Years” by Mike & The Mechanics – suggesting you say (express love) in the living years. The song presented itself back in 1991 & is as valid these days as back then. I’m also surprised that you receive harsh/ugly comments(by someone on your public page) – with all your strength,wisdom,encouragement,cheeriness and professionalism. It only shows up that ‘someones’ troubled being. Thankyou for all you are,do and share. I love it.

  • Penny

    Colette, there is bravery and courage in your words, and in your position. Although individuals may agree with your perspective, they are often fearful about putting it out in the world……particularly with the current degree of divisiveness (even those against divisiveness often respond divisively!). Love AND courage are the bomb/balm. Thanks for that.

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      the middle way is the hardest but I am gonna stay right here.. let go the shore.. and swim

  • Jillian

    Great post. Interesting that the common theme in messages you get from the dead is about love. We forget that our true nature IS love. It’s just got covered in a load of gunk (thoughts, beliefs, others’ opinions, emotions, stories, the past) so we don’t see it clearly and forget how to be it. We can choose love. It’s not something that we have to wait to get or give only to those people or circumstances that we like. Realising that it’s there inside of us all the time and as we let it emerge it changes our world.

  • Theresa

    Thank you Colette, for holding this space for us to share and speak about Spirit, love, self-love, respect and the list goes on and on! During these dramatic times, I am amazed (but not surprised), that when the drama heats up, the pendulum swings the opposite way to balance the energy. As we hold love in our hearts for ourselves and others, others who are open to it, will also feel it too. And the underground spread of goodness slowly leaks into our world, thus balancing the negative emotions, and making them a little bit weaker until one person gets it, then another… and people start their vibrations in the love frequency. I truly believe that the more we focus on these conversations, the more it becomes. I love this tribe! Blessings to you all, and thank you for sharing. It makes my day each time I read Colette’s words of wisdom and all of the wonderful comments from you wonderful people! When we are confronted with contrast, it stimulates us more to do more “love” work. It is just who we are.

  • Jenn

    Great message, thank you!♥

  • Susan

    Absolutely! <3 🙂

  • Janet

    Your posts always brighten my day, and give me pause for conscientious and deliberate thought. THANK YOU❤

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