Bumbling Boundaries – (Or How to do Imperfect Self Care)!
Updated: November 30, 2015
Dearest luminous you,
Do you believe in unlimited potential? Can you imagine in your world there is enough? I do, and I can, as I know these to be as true as my solid coffee cup. Yet everything is first created in Mind, brought into form by our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and sustained frequency. So before all this life we want can show up in front of us, it first is rooted in the invisible realms. It’s the essential energy of what is not yet in form that precedes matter. That potential, paradoxically can only be realized when you are aware of your own limitations, and can set flexible yet important boundaries.
Each one of us is unique, and we don’t co-create reality in a vacuum. We are co-creators with the Greater Consciousness and we don’t travel alone. We move through this world and learn and grow through our relationships with others. We don’t dance solo. And, we don’t have to dance with everyone that wants to dance with us.
Maybe the full moon this week was all about illuminating the truth of our connections, globally, and closer to home base too. The truth is subjective though, as what may be true for me may not be true for someone else. What may be true for you may not be true for everyone.
When we move past our stories and projections based on past experience we do get to the core truth- that wholeness is about integration and you can’t get there without peeling the layers of old stories and resentments away to get to the beauty of the Light you’re here to shine.
And sometimes, you need to set boundaries with yourself and others to take care of yourself so your Light doesn’t flicker out or set your eyelashes on fire because you didn’t tend it properly.
So don’t expect yourself to be fully graceful when you need to set boundaries with others. You might hurt someone’s feelings, you might fail miserably as a friend because someone expects more from you than you’re able to give, and you might have to clear the decks to be there for someone who needs you and in so doing let someone else down. That’s life. You can’t be all things to all people. I know in my case my circle has gotten smaller and tighter and that is perfect for me.
I have yet to learn the art of graceful boundaries, instead I have had the tendency to hope I’m actually Wonder Woman secretly waiting for the costume to magically appear so I don’t have to be the one that fails the expectations of others, and when I’m fried, or at the very least singed, I set my boundaries bumbling sometimes into bed having made myself ill from it all.
I’m not like that today, though, not the way I was but I am still a bit like that.
Anyway… the point of all this is to remind us all that it’s ok to say no, it’s important to take care of you so your mind can rest and come back to the place of equilibrium and awareness of the pre-manifest world. The card I chose for us today is from The Wisdom of Avalon-Burden. It reminds us to take care of ourselves and know when we are capable of sharing the burdens of others and when we are not.
Be discerning, your Spirit knows the difference between open-hearted generosity and co-dependent enmeshment. When you know this intimately, infinite potential is shareable in ways so magical you Light up the whole world.
Bumble on my darlings..
Loving you always and forever.
UNIVERSAL ENERGIES VLOG
Colette, Hoping you and yours had a holiday filled with warm fuzzy’s. This post is serendipitous timing. I am just finishing a class that had us read a book that emphasizes this message, and each place I turn I feel like I keep getting nudged by spirit to get this into my head. I love that you say “We don’t dance solo. And, we don’t have to dance with everyone that wants to dance with us”. I have been struggling with that exactly. Thank you for being you. Tess
Both your blog post and your video for this week are super special. Thank you so much!
Thank you Colette!!! This is right on time for me as I sit having my coffee at McDonalds before work. I started losing me as a co creator and was starting to expect the worst. I moved from Annapolis, Maryland to Tucson, AZ to kind of slow things down for myself because the cost of housing is like half of Maryland. I am now staying in a Christian shelter and it is a challenge because I am not Christian. My beliefs are close to yours, so I have to really set boundaries. Thank you so much for being you! Blessings on you and you family. Love Rosalyn Marie
Love you Colette wonderful weekly forecast and Blog–this week I will do whatever I need to do whatever Spirit needs me to do to bring Love and Light to others 🙂
Dear Colette,
Thank you dearly for this post today. I sooo needed to hear this. As an intuitive healer, my late Mother is constantly reminding me “You cannot save the world”. Each time I have had to let go of a “friend” that choose not to fuel energy into the relationship , the old childhood deamons hidden in the basement of my soul reveal themselves (being ignored, feeling unloved, unappreciated, rejected). I’m forced once again to cradle that inner child, sending her love, compassion, and understanding. Each time this happens I find that the boundaries come up quicker, I love myself more deeply, and let go of the friend sooner. I send love and blessings to their wounded parts and let them go. Thank you for continuing to be a source of hope for so many, including me. Much love and blessings. Debs
Thank you for this perfect and serendipitous message. Yep, I’m not graceful either about setting boundaries and when I try, I would make myself sick from agonizing over whose feelings I would hurt by saying no. I love how you worded all of this message, especially this: “it’s ok to say no, it’s important to take care of you so your mind can rest and come back to the place of equilibrium and awareness of the pre-manifest world. ”
Your Light shines so bright. Thank you for reminding us we can do small things for the greater good all day long to create a different reality in our world. Much love to you.
Oh Colette .. You are spot on ! .. We do not dance solo ! .. And yet, we don’t have to dance with everyone ! .. Last weeks blog gave me food for thought, and it moved me forward inch by inch ! .. I really needed to remove certain triggers, things I was holding onto out of fear .. I undid from social media connections that I know were not good for my evolvement .. I had hung on because I am living in an area where I have no close friends to bounce the ball called life with .. I knew intuitively for awhile that I needed to do that clean up .. And when I finally just did it .. I felt lighter ! .. So my dance card now has many people less on it .. I have to be alright with it .. The no friends for a bit .. I know that as the triggers get removed , new opportunities will appear for forging friendships and doing other love giving activities .. One other illumination that hit me during the past week is that if I/we had not lost our home and moved back to the city, I would not have been online, and that means I would not have found your site .. So even that loss has a silver lining ! .. The reprogramming the subconscious program, the cards, the blogs, the vlogs, the radio program .. I asked the universe to show me my teacher/mentor .. And then you appeared .. I truly am inspired by the dizzying pace you keep, and I trust that Spirit has YOUR back, keeping you nourished and well rested ! .. Many blessings to you ! .. Love Lisa
Dear One,
Loved the reading. Where are the fur-babies???? I always watch the video and become
entranced with the fur-babies that I forget to listen to you!…..so…..I replay the weekly
video and focus upon your insights for the coming week.
Love the new oracle deck and yet I so often use the Avalon Oracle. It’s been a favourite
of mine for such a long time. Have a “wonder”-full week and take all the time you need
to snuggle with Sebastian and Coco (are these the correct names?)….for in essence there
is no time….Tick-tock, Tick-tock!!!!!…..Luv, Diane.
Oh Colette, what perfect timing, as always. I’ve just let go of a 6 month relationship that had taught me so much of what I no longer needed in my life. I had so much hope for this but it was not meant to be, and I struggled so much about hurting him. Having lost my husband 3.5 years ago I have found moving forward has been so difficult in all aspects of my life. Your Oracle cards have been wonderful and a true blessing. I actually chose these exact cards myself this week. God bless you for your very important contribution to this world. I often tell clients that we have no idea to what extent we help people by our actions, and you are no exception. Thank you once again for the many blessings you serve to us each and every day. Hugs, Claudia
thank you so much this means so much oxox
Happy Holidays Colette! Thank you for rescuing the sick puppy. Although I know you would always come to the rescue for an animal in need, I love to hear your story. This morning I had three more Monarch butterflies born, which means for 2015, I have raised and released 1,046 Monarchs (519 females and 527 males) into the world. When I read that this iconic butterfly is under review for being added to the endangered species list, I felt compelled to help the “King” of the butterfly world. But, I never thought it would turn into such a mission!! As a wildlife photographer, I have photographed my Monarchs and created hand-made greeting cards with their images. I sell these cards in retail stores in my community and each card comes with a seed packet of Milkweed, the Monarch caterpillars ONLY food source, and an insert on how to plant the seeds and care for the caterpillars that will be born on the Milkweed. I then created a gallery of my butterfly images and videos on my photography website to further educate people on the plight of the Monarch. I have received such positive feedback from people and customers have shared with me that my Monarch cards have been purchased as sympathy cards to help heal grieving hearts. What an honor. I feel rewarded every day to send the love, light and magic of the Monarchs into the world. Here’s wishing you, Marc, Sebastian, and Coco Doozie a wonderful holiday season!
and we have added a new baby to the mix too her name is Olli !!
Really spoke to what happened with me last night. Presently working in a job that doesn’t utilize any of my professional skill set, and nights no less, I came into work and the person I was relieving seemed very very sad. I did not know her, but asked her if she was okay. Just tired she said. As I talked to her a bit more, I found out that she was hurting so badly inside that it was taking her spirit away. I started hugging her, she broke down, and then was able to help her find a few possible solutions to some of her hurt. And I went …aha!!!! This is why I am here today! I felt so honoured and inn such awe to have been in this space at this time!
Yes, dear beautiful Colette, today I was kind to someone in line who pissed me off…Little miracles in our every day lives, we can transform the world one person at a time….
I am glad you rescued a sick puppy…You looked different in this video, very radiant complexion…
I am usually not good with setting boundaries either, bumbling along like my human companions…My dance mentor told me years ago, you do not grow spiritually in a vacuum, it is a triangle, you, the other at the corners of the triangle and the Holy Spirit being at the top…Blessings dear ones, may you have a wonderful, joy filled holiday season….
Love, B…
thanx for sharing…
I wanna know how the farm house renovation is going…is the spirit of creativity and ingenuity, and your personal mojo working? You gotta keep us posted!
Love and light,
Christine
all is working so well.. this house is magical and the land loves us and we love it.. a perfect place for us.. thank you so much for asking !
Such a spark of Divine light. I’m talking about you Colette! I so resonate with your message.
Tomorrow, I start my sessions with Althea, I spent the Sunday evening filling out her intake form. One of my answers I gave, was to be whole and to integrate all parts of myself. To know the difference between who I am and those other engeries that don’t serve me or are not mine. Creating healthy boundaries and remove those “dirty rocks” that block my path to the Divine light at the top of the “crystal mountain”. Thank you.
So, happy to hear you have a new fur baby in your family, We send you love and infinite gratitude, Olli!
Shawn Marie and my two fur boys Sully and Oliver
a big thank you from Sebastian, Coco Doozie, and Olli ( short for Olivia de Twinkletoes)
Dear Sparkly Colette 🙂
Thank you so much for your inspiring messages. I love the hope and reminders for Good which are highlighted here, in your weekly forecast….to “add our light to the Sum of All Light ” in whichever opportunity to do so presents itself to us day by day, and to always call on our Higher Power for re-minding us of our unbreakable connection to the greater good. I was speaking with my daughter earlier this week, and we both said the same thing about how incredibly fast this year has zoomed by….it is truly astonishing and sometimes rather alarming. It is comforting to hear “the is always enough time” another all-important reminder…it reduces that “breathless” sense of rushing or…as I envision it… being chased by hungry wolves.
I also love your reminder to keep the circle strong by remembering to take care of ourselves. Like you, over the years, my circle has become “smaller and tighter” and I have around me only people who understand my need to restore myself and to sometimes cancel plans or spontaneously create new ones based on whatever arises each day. This is a work in progress and an exercise in trust, for me.
I truly take to heart the reminder to be kind, I feel like it is a piece of my mission statement for life… and when I look around me I see that human kindness abounds. I seek out the stories of good and of light to continue lighting my own desire for the power of our combined love to help heal the world. Thank you, again, for always providing inspiration to this thirsty-for-hope world.
Oh, and bless your heart, Colette, for the help you provide to the fur babies…Ollie sure scored with moving into your family!! 🙂
Many blessings to you and your family, and to All.
sending you a big hug.. thank you for sharing
Thanks Colette!
As the sole caregiver of my mom, I am constantly dealing with boundary issues – not only regarding her care and my self-care, but because she habitually volunteers me – without my previous knowledge or consent – for various organizations’ activities and duties around town. I’m constantly saying “no” and coming off as the bad guy, yet I am unable to do it all, run my own business, and keep my sanity. We’ve been at an impasse for the past 2 months as I’ve resorted to only doing the bare minimum care for her and refusing to do anything else so I can recharge my own reserves and function.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
Oh, those damnable boundaries!! They are soooooo tricky! They bring out the Warrior Princess in me. The silent guardian who must stand steady while remaining invisibly cloaked ever at the ready to protect and defend. New boundaries can be so tiring. You can’t just retreat to the inner sanctums of castle. Every detail must be secured and trusted. From the stave in the fencing to the chink in the mortar. Loyalties must tested before you can allow the perimeters to be trusted to aiding “do-gooders” and “hopeful advisors”. My solution is as yours, Collete. To keep my circle “small and tight”. Even within that, there are some moments in certain relationships that remind me to be always be alert. We all have them. The discernment allows me to wear my battle gear–with steel blue chest plate and silver buckles resembling Joan of Arc with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles & Jehdi Warriors covering my back! Those moments are unavoidable. You know them. The friend who is quick to sputter their judgement of you is not what I’m talking about. That is honest and gives you the interaction that can create alliance. The trouble is the friend who lets you think everything is fine and then suddenly–out of nowhere–that quiet opinion gets blurted out. Those are the attacks that leave you separated from the rest with retreat for damage control as the most important issue. If left unattended, that weak spot can break apart the entire fortress. If it falls apart, do you gain liberation? — Freedom to move unencumbered by the responsibility of self preservation? Life is a battlefield filled with the most wonderful opportunities of finding the balance of diving into the best of your soul!
Yay! New puppy Olli! (Gloria & Groucho & I need a new friend after loosing Missy). Love that you shared the story of the Swaddling Wraps! That was such a perfect aide! Love you, toots! Love you my Tribal Dancers!
ah yes… all of this and more… lololol..
Wow!
The cards this week almost made me cry.
This was a very practical reading for me, meaning that it really was about my day to day experience. The between words card blew me away as I feel literally between what ‘was’ and what I have been working so hard to create. My first deck is being released early 2016, my second deck is being pitched to the publishers this week and I am half through my manuscript that is due the end of Feb! Which made the tick-tock card and the going the distance card even more relevant as I really do have a deadline. But, in the larger picture, I don’t have to push it as it is all coming together. That which ‘was’ is transitioning into that which was once a dream.
A small part of me was starting to feel slightly defeated this week and wondering if I was ever going to catch up to the new reality. I let out a huge sigh of relief as you were going through the cards. Which let me know, I really needed to hear this message this week.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Just doing my part. What a relief!!!!! Recently have joined a company for the season, the busiest of the year.
I am definitely not alone. There are many others who are participating in a collaborative, co-creative exchange.
I am just one person. Once upon a time I felt I was so much more important, and put so much pressure on both
myself and others striving to live up to the “perfectionistic standards” that I created, It was never a joyful/ playful,
place to fill. When I discovered last week that I had washed and dried a pen with the laundry, and a huge area of
a duvet cover had indigo ink saturating the fabric. I was reminded that sometimes we are tired, and are extending
beyond our usual day to day lives, and not focused, or totally present, and things do happen. I was quite shocked
to discover this ink on several pieces of clothing as well. What I didn’t do was to punish myself, or try to judge.
I actually laughed. Then I scrubbed the dryer and removed any trace of ink so no one else would be affected.
“Kindness is the mightiest force in the world”. Be kind for everyone we meet is walking a difficult road. Each one
is responsible for creating the attitude and mindset that will add to uplift, and to appreciate life. Even with its
share of blunders and absurdities. All is well.
Abundantly and ” humanly”;
Yours truly. XOXO Renee
Hi,
This message gave me shivers. I ended a six year friendship with a friend because I just couldn’t handle her selfishness. I had a dream about her last night and then I read this. I also have ( and yes I’m ALMOST there) gotten physically sick for not looking after my spirit. I’m important ! And I need to realize that.
You’ve startedout my day on a wonderful note. Have a wonderful day.
Hi Collette,
Thank you for this post…I am dealing with an issue that I have been torn about and I have just been getting signs, including yours right now, that it is OK to say no. I needed to hear that, and while it is a difficult situation, I know that it is for my highest care of myself and now I pray that spirit helps me with finding a solution now that I know what is right for me. Thank you…you’re an angel. Also I hope your tour is going well…I haven’t been able to check into your blogs as regularly in the past several weeks. I loved your program at Omega and learned so much. Also I am continuing to love using your Wisdom of the Oracle cards. I did a reading with a friend and she loved them and was like “I need these! They are amazing!”
Love,
Amanda
Thanks for sharing yourSelf…love always!
I know this is not on topic but can you answer a question, what is the extensive meaning behind the “All that glitters card” upside down?
nope get the booklet ! order the deck and learn 😉
No thanks.
What a fantastic message on self love, self care and self worth!