More Musing from the Cocoon About Darn Mercury Retrograde in Cancer!
Updated: July 2, 2013
How the heck can we deal with this besides burying our heads in the sand and chanting “go away, go away, go away,, go away” ‘til July 20 when it’s supposed to be over?
Happy first week of July! Yay summer is here, it’s my birthday month, I am hobbling around now, out of bed and invoking turtle magic. How is my tribe doing? I love hearing your stories. Isn’t it great we get to do the life dance together?
Or perhaps this dance- the Mercury Retrograde Cha Cha – is more like this:
Take 2 steps forward, get mad – take 4 steps back, shake your booty,
Feel better – jump ahead 6 steps, cha cha cha, fall on your face, come back around spin 4 times, shake, shake, shake shed some tears, get happy, walk slowly back to the beginning, hug everyone, Cha Cha Cha. Do it again!
Don’t ya just wish we could sit this one out? Sigh…
The only way to survive this mercury retrograde is to stay in the moment, breathe, journal, look at your family stuff, be ok with being lonely and thinking you’re gonna be abandoned at any moment. Love the part of you that thinks—remember that’s only one little voice that does—keep asking, What really nourishes me? And, while you’re doing all that, keep forgiving your parents for all the ideas you inherited from them that don’t work for you.
Self care, self care, self care, self care.
Love Love Love YOUR adorable child self.
Go get a cute photo of you as a 4-year old and keep it with you by your bedside and when you get up tell your child self that you’re going to take care of her (or him) all day and she can play and have fun and you will not abandon her. And she can have ice cream if she wants.
And remember to laugh your ass off all week. This is a doozy month, emotions are particularly moody and humor may be the only defense while you go off on tangents you thought were over years ago.
Be creative, finger paint your life, and don’t be freaked out about any of the messes around you. You’re only responsible to clean up your own, ok?
Give yourself permission to be in this shift and know it will for sure (I promise honest injun) will pass as long as you don’t try to avoid it.
I can tell I am getting more creative as I’m considering how many rhinestones it would take to cover my boot cast. Or perhaps airbrushing turtles all over it to remind me to go slow rather than invoking Liberace, a considerably more dysfunctional albeit much more flamboyant muse. I will stick to turtle, and forget about decorating the cast, or maybe place one rhinestone in a place that reminds me I will still sparkle if I remain slow and steady.
Perhaps speed is also an avoidance tactic, hmmmmm…… who me?
Actually all of us are required to slow down and reflect. I may sound like I’m repeating myself from my earlier blogs about cocooning etc. And my cocoon is still my place of personal healing at the moment (even if it sounds like I’m dancing, etc.).
Now what? More learning? Really? Whose idea was this anyway?
Guess what we all get to do next? The story of our family of origin needs to be revisited. What did we learn about affection, love, self-expression, money, security, safety? How were we taught to manage anger, to set boundaries, to deal with fear?
I mention my Chicken Little character or My Bag Lady because I’ve had huge issues around financial insecurity. I am happy to say they are not so huge today but when I get triggered it’s like I am right there!
My parents came over from the war, one survived the Holocaust (and forgot to tell us for 20 years), my parents were well off and then lost everything and became paupers and died tragically a few years later. I have some issues!
I get triggered when I’ve not been able to work and will likely have to do half of what I used to do from now on. My bills don’t know they are supposed to be cut in half now too – isn’t that fair? ! What do you mean no? What do you mean I have to pay 10 grand for going to the emergency room? WTF? I should have asked for more morphine after all. (not the best choice I know I know just sayin…)
But, I digress, the point is, we are all human. Our family stories need to be embraced and the narrative changed. If we refuse to look at the story with an honest, compassionate observation, without fantasy and projection, then we will remain hostage to the past.
But … knowing the story is the first step to being free from it. We can still get triggered but our experience does not have to remain in an ego-reactive state. We can in fact slow down, practice self-care, stay in today, and develop response strategies that are soul-based. Also everybody is going through something these days it’s hard to remember that life isn’t personal but it’s not! We are all falling on our butts, getting our feelings hurt, getting angry, feeling left out and scared as well as those AWESOME beach days where we just give it all the finger and eat ice cream while we laugh at ourselves. It’s all good, it’s all the Cha Cha we’re dancing, in and out of sync with the world.
Consider the crab this month. The crab runs and hides when provoked, has a tough shell and a soft underbelly. Hiding in the sand is a lonely experience especially when you should be thinking about what’s nourishment for you. Sand is nasty and smelly and crunchy and Cancer needs soft and safe and secure and , well, others- but ONLY if they are very nice to us!
Crabs run sideways to get where they need to go too. Notice that everyone is out of their minds? I can actually see the wacky bubbles over people’s heads as you tell them something nicely to set a boundary and they get all Monty Python on you , run shrieking in the shrubberies “off with your head!!- I am the King Not you not you not you!!” and scream about farting in your general direction! , all the while trailing toilet paper off their shoes reminding you how even the nicest people can turn psycho and full of YOU KNOW on their worst days.
Mercury retrograde in Cancer is an umbrella of little crabby loony tunes, moody things crawling all over our collective souls just begging to be loved and nurtured and accepted. The tenacity of the crab is also important to look at. Everything I’ve let go of has my claw marks all over it.
So what are you hanging on to from your family story? How can you do it differently? What are you avoiding? What reactive habits have you picked up? How do you practice acceptance and sel- love, self-care and self-nurturing when you get triggered?
How do you make yourself feel loved and accepted and nourished and safe?
Be creative …. Tell me a story!
Sending BIG love from my one room Cocoon motel.
Colette
The Invision Project
Founder, CEO
intuition-insight-influence
If you have a question you would like to ask Colette, write to her at AskColette@ColetteBaronReid.com. All published questions and answers will be anonymous – we honor and protect your privacy. (Please, Colette respectfully asks that you do not request a reading as the anticipated response to your question.)
I have just had an “Aha” moment .. !! Why don’t we all put our Collective Thinking hats on and change the “negative” influences of this period .. ?? Do we really want to wait until the 20th – I know I don’t … !!!!
But then, perhaps I am presently doing the forward steps of the Cha Cha .. :)))
Love and Blessings Colette .. and thank you for making such a HUGE difference to this world .. !!!
XO
I know great idea yes? I am in a pretty slow and nice part of the dance myself today. And the more self care and forgiveness we can bring to ourselves and others the easier it gets, the less we hurt our bums in the fall down part of the dance ! thanx for writing xooxxo
Is this retrograde just for people who are the sign of Cancer?
perhaps… the idea of mercury retrograde is taking the time to re… re do, re knew, RE visit. How lucky for us that the Universe provided us with 3 months out of the entire year to go within and RE. It might be a good thing that the Universe is looking after us in that way. This is our time and would we do it on our own?. hmmmmm?
remember,
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE – flect!
REJOICE
xoxoxo
Thank you, Colette. Feeling much better after reading your blog on Mercury Retrograde. I especially liked the part ” I am the king, not you, not you!” This has been in my space since last Thursday. I feel as if all my hard work on my interior has gone backward. I do not feel full of love at all and have wondered why everyone has gone off their rocker. most of the time(okay half). I am okay that my family of origin does not talk to me and sends me jabs but I would truly like to change my story. sometimes I feel that they did me a favor- allowing me to be myself by letting me go but then the fear steps in and I feel sad it had to go this way but the burden got too great. Wil I feel better about it all after MR passes?
a good article is out today http://www.mayawhite.com on what’s happening this week. Feeling better comes with radical acceptance and this time is about us finding that space or inner nourishment that we didn’t or can;t get from the family of origin story. It’s not the people we need to look at its the story we inherited. Abandonment seems to be yours so the question is how do you find a way not to abandon yourself. This is the discovery only you can make for yourself. When other people go running round saying ” they’re the king not you not you” it’s about them not you. oxoxoxo breathe.. find your soft space and go there inside…xoxo
Thank you so much, Colette. XXXOOO Profound stuff.
Good timing to hear this… I’m in transition mode, having made a huge decision in my personal life but not quite “there” yet. I’ve had a few moments of “Oh No! Did I make the right decision?”, “Will I have regrets?” and “I’m feeling scared”. Your wise words remind me to live each moment through this transition period, embrace each day as it comes and to know that I’m moving toward a more fulfilling life that is centered around my truth… Thank you for continuing to nuture your tribe members 🙂
Hi Colette..I truthfully know very little about astrology but know personally this has been the best of times the worst of times in so many ways. So much electrical energy/agitation in some ways, and then deep calm and quiet.. a new level of peace in moments that are miracles in the storm. Emotional reactivity and triggers and blowups.. and then a new level of being able to step aside.. It like living between the polarities as we all get shaken up in the transformation.. at least for me.
The other thing is feeling my intuitive stuff getting flipped on faster, more clearly.. knowing more-which is both wonderful at times.. and then not, bc it also flips on the stories and picking up other peoples’ stuff, and the confusion around “is this mine?”
So another kind of cha-cha I guess.
The more I get out of my head and drop deeply into my body..the more it smooths out.. the more embodied vs cerebral.. better.
Horrified at your hospital bill (our system is so sick-ening) and loving your truth-teller self.
Love to you,
Lisa
Also for astrology.. have to put a plug in for my friend at http://www.Chrisflisher.com.. he’s local, I think you’d like him.
Oh Colette,
I so wonder how you knew that for this past week I had been compelled in my awake state and while dreaming to bring myself from this fifty one year old person to the days of my youth though not a four year old, my preferred age of recollection was eight. Thinking this age was young enough for me to be visualizing life through the eyes of an innocent and loving peacefully soul. Ahem, except unfortunately once I found myself back in her body I realized I did not go back far enough to escape the harsh views and opinions that my family had already began implanting in me, even at that young age I caught myself in a blank stare kind of like WTH is this???? Your writings for Mercury in Retrograde were spot on No wonder I have been an emotional wreck all week. And to think I was blaming it on the time of the month that even us women who no longer experience the joys of that curse we were blessed with. Go figure, just need to breathe, Thank you Colette!
ur very welcome 😉
Can’t write a lot at the moment, but I read your most recent. I love your symbol of the turtle, for slowing down. I live in Maryland, where we love crabs and turtles–you can’t even imagine. Maryland is also the home of the Terps, short for the Terrapin which is the native turtle here, and also the mascot for the University of Maryland–(my husband’s son Justin graduated from there in May, cum laude–we’re so proud of him!). Whilst we were at the very large commencement ceremony, the President–of the University that is, declared the entire audience of family and friends of the graduates, as honorary Terps. I felt a little awkward, having graduated from the University of Michigan, the other U of M, the Wolverines, nasty little buggers, and am true blue (and maize)–I’m still not at the point I’m wanting to make…and that is, I’ve always made fun of the Terps’ war cry slogan, ‘FEAR THE TURTLE!”. Ooh, I’m so scared, it’s coming, ever so slowly, to get me! So yes, since I am an honorary Terp, with the power not vested in me, I nonetheless bestow upon you the title of honorary Terp as well. Go Terps! Fear the Turtle! Ooh! You just have to laugh!
LOVE that I am an honorary Terp!!! xooxox
I believe the turtle is the Native American symbol for Earth.
Me too! Hope you are make slow-but-steady progress in honorary Terp fashion!!
Good news! Yesterday, I rode my bicycle for the first time this year–with my husband, up the NCR trail and back–16 miles round trip! Dang it was hot!–figuratively AND literally!
Good morning,
I haven’t been able to read many of your posts up until now but so glad I caught this one! I love the synchronicity of the turtle. I had an amazing IN-Vizion several weeks ago that involved a turtle which represented my husband and his often slow, very deliberate ways (which generally drive me CRAZY I might add!). I found a darling turtle ring and knew I had to have it, wear it daily now. Reading your blog reminded me that I really need to be the turtle right now–already started July off with an over-reaction! Could have been avoided if I had embodied turtle and slowed down. How long has Mercury been in retrograde? I feel like I have been in a big hurry to get who-knows-where for the last 4-5 days. Time to watch Finding Nemo and channel Crush!! Peace–
Hi Collette!
As I was reading everyone’s letters I ran across Donna’s that said she went back to the age of 8 instead of 4. This struck me because anytime I refer to anything in my young life it’s as if everything happened at the age of 10 or 11. I don’t recall any of my younger years. I was talking to a friend about it just the other day and she said its the same for her. Maybe that’s where my family stuff is stuck for me or the other way around possibly; that my very young years are stuck? Anyway I just find it interesting and maybe others have this same issue.
Glad you are on the mend! Be well!
Thank you for the clairity. For the past few months, I have been working with a hypnotherapist, doing some amazing healing and releasing around childhood really icky stuff. When you said “How were we taught to manage anger, to set boundaries, to deal with fear?” answers popped in very loud and clear that I was not taught how to manage anger, I had no boundaries, and I lived in fear (thus, needing security, big time).
Doing so much better these days, but have always struggled with emotional eating. Even after releasing so much around the eating, I saw some little changes, but I expected more. Then, whammo, broke my foot last week, and now, like you, I have been forced to stop. (Hard to do when I have a 10 yr. old, but he’s doing more, like it or not). I noticed for the past few days, my appetite is pretty low. Part of it has to do with not being able to easily access food (I actually have to get up and get it). But I think the work I’ve done on my spirit body and emotional body is finally getting a chance to come into the physical. I see that keeping busy can be avoiding things.
I hear ya, about ER bills. I am more than thankful to have health insurance. And I so want to bling out my knee scooter, but it’s a rental.
Oh yeah, and having to let go of the attitude of, “Heck yeah, I can do that; I can do anything.” Going to break my son’s heart tomorrow when I tell him that we can’t fly across country to Maine this summer (to see family). What was I thinking, even considering it? Had to have a wonderful girlfriend bop me on the head to knock some sense into it. I was more afraid of letting my son down (his brain can be dysregulated, and his emotions run high) than taking care of myself. Still working on boundaries when it comes to my kiddo. Not being about to run around to please him is a lesson for the both of us.
Thank you for the image of the turtle (last week). It’s turtle time!!
Good morning, Turtle Lady –
What an absolutely wonderful…FUN and educational story. I LOVED it and smiled and laughed…..rhinestone(s) on your cast….how fun.
Slow down is what it is all about. I get that. I get the financial stuff….I know that I spin those tapes from my folks all the time…..save at least 10% of what you make (I do that), but no “we” cannot afford that (when they could…they chose not to)….so for me….I have taken to a great financial “boot” camp that Belinda Rosenblum is teaching….and it’s rockin’ me to my core. I’m still having problems keeping up with the course work, but then that plays back to the “slow down to turtle pace” that I need in my life.
I had a GREAT thing happen during Mercury in Retrograde….a wonderful acquaintance, my vet’s tech, and I have come together (and everything had to align for this to happen)….and we have such a great spiritual connection….from books, to life’s experiences and she wants someone to help her write a book….and that’s been on my list by my desk to write a book….and here a great project has been given to me, even in Mercury Retrograde.
She and I are going to go it together and learn as we go. It should be a GREAT adventure.
When my mom’s home finally sold after 18 months (of me remodeling it, and clearing and cleansing it), I asked God to give me some great adventures and that I do not resist what he sends (typical Taurus to be a bit stubborn and controlling…I”m working on that to let go and let it flow).
Life is great and for those of us that like cute quips, I always remember my mom and dad saying, as we pulled out of the driveway on a trip, “we’re off like a herd of turtles.” To this day it makes me laugh.
Be well everyone and…YES we CAN get through Mercury Retrograde….one beautiful moment at a time!!
Peggy 🙂
Hi Colette!!
I am so glad that I have found you. You have opened a few doors, through your books and oracle cards, for me that I though I didn’t have and I am so grateful for that. I read the comments above and I am so glad to see that I am not the only one who had a rough week, but we are in someway connected through intuition aren’t we?
Since I was this four years old little child I had visions of my life and knew then I would always have to look after myself and that no one else would do it for me. I felt that I never belonged to my parents or the rest of the family for that matter. At home criticism, negativity, violent fights ran rampant in my world and love was a commodity that was not readily available. It was tough growing up in these condition but today I am thankful for these time because in all that pain I have learned to nourish my little child, to love her and taught her to forgive others and herself. She also learned to stand up for herself and she has accomplished so many things in her life that I am so proud of her. Of course I have moments like this past week where I miss having a family someone I can go to and just hang around, someone who understands me. I don’t have this and you known it’s ok because today I just keep smiling, life is beautiful!!!
Thank you Colette for being you and giving so much of yourself to others even if you are in turtle mode, it feels good to take care of you for a change you deserve it. 🙂
Patricia
Colette,
I loved your article today. Thanks for the zaniness and sound advice the whole way through. May we all somehow thrive through Mercury Retrograde. 🙂
Julie
Its invoicing week and I stopped by to see how the cocooning was going and I laughed and I laughed as I so get it…MY CTO battens down the hatches when MR hits…just in case…I connect with Creator and command we only have positive experiences with MR and clear whatever negatives I can see and …then….LOL…sit back with everything crossed – do my gratitudes…assure Archangel Michael is watching carefully…then get up each day and go whew…got through another one…It too shall pass…Enjoy the crazy, zanyness everyone…love to all…especially you oh beautiful one in the cocoon..xo – I am still giggling away here as really I am procrastinating about hitting the accounting books…
Good Afternoon Colette,
I’m back and happy to read your blog entries, they bring up a lot to think about. I believe throwing on a rhinestone or two onto your cast would be considered self-care, you’re sparkly, and so is your healing leg! You’re working with turtle energy, I’ve been reading a lot of Steven D. Farmer lately. As I am embracing Deer energy, not only have I been seeing deer constantly (side of the road, in a field) a mother and her two babies have taken up residence in my back yard. How’s that for LISTEN TO US!!!? Deer=be patient with yourself. I can’t tell you how important self care is to me. It’s a learned behaviour which I am establishing one moment at a time. Reflecting on my weekend gone by, I embraced odd jobs, painting, repotting plants and performing a SACRED CEREMONY releasing events, situations and people with love for them and myself, infused with forgiveness. Turns out what I thought were jobs, was an opportunity to process and nurture myself. Redefining the energy of my space with colour, getting my hands literally in the earth and lighting a sacred fire, made me feel elated and supportive of my own journey.
What have I inherited from my family you ask? My mothers voice saying “don’t tell anyone you’re psychic they will reject you.” My past experiences were my fears that became my reality. Every place I have been employed (as a massage therapist, you and I share a similar history too) asked me to leave their establishment because they said they would lose clientele because of my abilities. I also inherited financial insecurity. My parents built two beautiful sprawling homes, and lost them both, due to mismanagement of money. My mother carried our family for years, I too hear her voice, “make sure you have enough money.” This triggers me, some days I let it go knowing that I am in good hands and others, I go right back into full PANIC. It’s a toss up, logic cannot defy your feelings. With life comes experience and the backwards and forwards CHA, CHA that you’ve comedically described in your blog.
Thank you, for slowing down, and infusing every moment of your personal journey for us to share. Building an emotional connection to people is the most valuable tool to acquire.
Namaste,
Ursula
HI Colette,
Hey – 1st thing – sending hugs and wishes for speedy delivery for full mobility. Thanks for the mentions on your blog – much appreciated and you have been my angel – really – an angel in my life.
This Mercury retrograde stationed – or stood still – on the degree of your Sun before it moved into apparent backward motion – so, it’s probably feeling like it did a flamenco stomp on your head. Ai-yi -yi – the Flamenco dance has it’s roots in Kali worshipers who immigrated to Spain from India. I have learned not to mess around with Kali 🙂
As I mentioned on my blog, this Mercury rx brought some interesting things to my family – ie – a message on behalf of my grandfather, (July 8th, Cancer) who died several years ago. And, even yesterday, I saw his old car parked out in front of my apartment building! (an antique Oldsmobile from the 1960’s – similar to the one I crashed when he was first teaching me to drive)
Anyway – Mercury rx is not always bad just by virtue of it being retrograde- it can be a good time that brings good things to people. (I was born during a Mercury rx time, so , perhaps I’m biased – I find them generally peaceful times with the exception of frustrating breakdowns) It’s a very interesting time because we bypass some of the usual intellectual filters, and can learn alternate ways to communicate. Because this one stationed on your Sun, it’s going to bring some really good things for you – August 5th is the day Mercury returns to your Sun again.
Love, love, love U – MW
Maya you are a WONDERFUL astrologer and guide for me when I have most needed it. Love the stomp image yep! I am having a wonderfully calm and serene day today writing writing writing. ONe thing this past month has brought me re these blogs for example. I used to write to teach now I just write and share. Funny how everybody seems to like this better! Life is good. life is good life is good. IN the end all things come and go regardless yes? um
outside of all that all is well stuff please don;t tell me I have to wait til aug 5th!!!!! o well… back to bed
“k – not till Aug 5th – it’s good today. More good news – Venus is now in Leo – sending good vibes and bringing gifts to all your Leo planets. 🙂
I had to throw caution to the wind and revise my resume and apply for a new job today. If I wait until the 20th I might loose the opportunity and I’ll be on unemployment (a prospect I do not relish). So far the people I have shown my new resume to have had positive reactions and the initial interview went pretty well. Crossing my fingers the “Big Boss” likes what he sees with my resumes, references and recommendation letters.
It’s so funny that you say ‘tell me a story’ because as I have been cocooned, (living on my savings account — and I have a Powerful Bully of an Inner Bag Lady), I was given the great gift of time and ‘unemployment’ to take a hard, long look at my life. I am 47 and at 46 I was still blaming my parents for having me as teenagers and then making a real big mess of their own lives and mine. I wondered, will I still be doing this when I’m 72? I was so intertwined with my family history, I literally re-wrote it out of desperation. I come from poverty, mental illness, abuse and a painful, lonely childhood that only lost teenagers could provide. I finished a screenplay, an auto-biographical story and In it, there is forgiveness, reconciliations, finding True Love, happy ending and all! It has been this literal re-write of my ‘story’ that’s carried me through my cocoon process. Interestingly to me (and wonderfully synchronistic in this post) is that I have to cut 20 pages from my story by this month and so I’ve really been processing this family history stuff…rewriting, letting go, forgiving. When I let go of anger, I first feel a lot of guilt for having had it for so long in the first place. In an effort to forgive others I always find it leads back to forgiving myself. Another funny magic trick….Thank you Colette for your post today as it personally empowers me to have this synchronicity; a sign I’m on the right path.
Hi Colette! First of all, I am honored to share my birthday month with you ( mine is the 25th). I think the rhinestone on the foot is a nice touch, just one to remind us that beauty comes in many forms, even a boot.
I am taking this month off emotionally! I am spending a great deal of time in meditation, reading, watching the birds and squirrels at the feeder, surrounding myself with music and words that feed my soul. I am making no huge commitments, no promises, and taking on no new projects. This is how I am surviving until the 20th. This works for me as I am a pretty retrospective person. This might not work for those who require constant motion and a “get it done” philosophy of life. My mantra, borrowed from Michael Neal, is: “will my head explode if I don’t get this done?” I find that it works for me and, as I still have my head, I think I’ll keep it.
Love you, love you, love you. Sending you all the positive, healing energy I can muster!
Colette-
OH thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I needed this information about Mercury being in retrograde so much!!! Every morning when I am getting dressed I always ask the universe what I should wear today or what color should I wear today and it’s always a fun, easy going experience. But not today 🙁 I woke up this morning and changed my outfit three times until I said to myself this outfit is “good” enough. I was feeling odd and out of balance. Just a little off my rockers 🙂 Once arriving at work it took me three times to get a message correct in a patients chart and I caught myself literally sticking my tongue out at the computer. Oh, good times! Hahaha! I have been mad at the weather all day. I live in Utah and it has been extremely hot. We have had no rain in over a month and even though I love my garden, flowers and the sunshine, I found myself wishing for winter for some relief. I realized I was having what I like to call an “adult temper tantrum” but couldn’t place where the heck it was all coming from. I was thinking I should maybe lock myself in my bedroom for a little while! It helps to know I need some extra “Me” time, have more fun, slow down and allow myself more time for inner work, reflection and peace in the next coming weeks. And last but not least, to know I am not going totally crazy!!! 🙂
Thank you for being you and sharing your love with the world!!!
Sending you tons of love and prayers for a lightening fast recovery!!!
XOXOXO
The only thing getting me through right now is keeping my mind on the conference that I just attended about wild cats and conservation projects going on to help save them. I really think that conference saved me in a way. Going back to the whole family history. Growing up my mom died when I was really young and after that happened its like I lost my dad too in a way because he was never there emotionally or anything. He made sure we had clothes on our backs and food but that’s about it. Its like he was lost without my mom. Anyway from this and the cruel stuff my stepmom always did to my brother and I, I grew up thinking I was worth absolutely nothing. I was definitely starting to feel this way again in the extreme until I went to this conference. I now have my mind focusing on what I can do to help wild cats and how I can help educate public. My passion has definitely flared back up because of this and now it feels like I’m on a high. lol I definitely still have my moments of where I start to go back to thinking about how i’m not worth anything BUT I can feel it coming on and I’m trying hard to hold onto the thoughts about the animals. 🙂
bravo to find your passion let it light your way!
Thanks so much! All your work and some of your life stories resonate with me.
I too am a Cancer and your description describes me in a nutshell. At one point my father made lots of money and then lost all of it. Both of my parents died of cancer when I was young. My parents weren’t German, but my dad’s mother was. I studied the language for 8 years and lived in Germany and Austria for a total of 2.
Therefore, when I started reading your books, I thought “wow, coincidences!” I definitely knew I was on the right track when reading your books. And as a Cancer, you know how everything needs to be “definite”.
I too have serious anxiety surrounding finances, even when I was well off. After going back to school for the 4th time, falling flat on my face, money down the drain, a year of unemployment, 15 months of a low paying, dead end job, and then finding the job I wanted, in addition to having a part time job on the side – I like so many others, feel utterly demoralized, small, worthless, like a failure, and alone. So talk about needing self care! A lot! A little voice inside me keeps saying, “you need to slow down, and rest.” Financial challenges still keep me thinking, “I need a weekend job!” Another job is really the last thing I need at this point! Especially when I was working 2 jobs, I came home one night to find my cat covered in blood, she had been clawing herself due to a rash and pulling her fur out. She will do such things when I am under lots of stress. Something told me I needed to slow down when I found her. The vet bills were a little over $ 1000 – as a result of not slowing down – creating more challenges and a vicious circle.
Almost a year ago, I consulted a well known psychic medium (you know her), and my dead father came through. She told me he said, “how can you hear what I am saying if you don’t listen!” She said he meant that I was always running around and doing things. How come the most simple things are the hardest things to do or not to do? Slowing down would mean letting go – letting go would be giving up control – allowing things to be chaotic or in a state of disarray. Would this mean, I would have to trust myself and the universe?
Instead of cleaning up cat puke, because my life will go to hell if it stays on the floor, something told me I should really post a comment, although I am kind of terrified of posting on the internet.
When you blog and reveal something personal, then we feel a deeper connection to you than we do when reading your books or listening to your radio shows. Even though some of us know, on an intellectual level, that everyone is connected, we don’t feel it. We really need to feel it!
Thanks so much! Happy Birthday! Hope you heal quickly! Look forward to more of your posts!
Such great words of wisdom and strength. We have to find our roots repair them and then let them grow. and we will flourish and growth with the universe and spirit within us.
Colette, your words are a Godsend lately! As I am going through my own transformation (and hating almost every minute of it), it is SO comforting to read your words and feel as though I am not alone! Your retrograde Cha-Cha sounds EXACTLY like my life right now. I laughed hysterically as I read it!
When the out-of-sorts feelings get way out of control, I turn to my bathtub. Taking sea salt and herbal baths always does the trick. I meditate while I’m in there (I do not recommend this for everyone!), and it is always amazingly healing for me! However, I absolutely love your suggestion of finding a 4-year old picture of myself and promising each morning to take care of her.
Most importantly, why is it that we seem to want to fast-forward through this transformation?! Do we not want to put the work in? Or do we just want all of this oddness going on to be over? I ask myself these questions almost daily. I’m not afraid of hard work, so I’m leaning more toward the latter for myself. I know how uncomfortable I’ve been feeling for the past month or so – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I don’t feel normal (what is normal anyway), I feel strange, I am so up and down emotionally from one day to the next, my physical health is the exact same – up and down from one day to the next. It’s been a constant roller coaster, and not necessarily a fun one. I definitely don’t have my hands high up in the air, screaming with delight, that’s for sure! I’m gripping the bars for dear life, praying that I make it through the rest of the ride.
I know we’ll all make it out OK, aside from a few bumps and bruises, and maybe needing a vacation, but at least we know we’re not alone on this ride.
Hello you dear woman, It’s been a rough week…I had to put one of my cats down and apply for food stamps. Humbling doesn’t even cover it. Thanks for the article, it helped. Bless you! <3 <3 <3
sending you much love and support so so sorry about your cat oxoxo
A few months ago, I dreamed I was a waitress in a river front bar/restaurant that was filled with people who were hiding out – sort of a pirates’ pub in a pirates’ cove. Everyone was ordering the crab legs.
The next two mornings (awake), a hawk perched on a tree limb outside my window for about an hour. Hmm.
I’m taurus with moon and venus in cancer and mercury in aries. Difficult – often described as tragic – things are going on in my family, my life.
I think the hawk is saying find some wind currents – digging into emotion and thinking are not productive right now. I think taurus is saying dig in the earth rather than hide out and order the crab legs.
I saw a TV show yesterday where an elderly woman and her husband were hostages in a bank robbery. She wouldn’t leave her husband when the women were to be let go – she said he was her life and THIS IS THEIR STORY. It’s like the volume was turned up when she said that and it continues to reverberate – not limited to my marriage but in every part of my life. This is an auspicious time for me to read this post.
Thank you.
U r so in my head!! All of you! But espec, u, Colette! <3 <3 <3
I didn't read this until now, & i just posted under the old blog… I told u a story.. I could re-write my story, like u told me to on the radio, to betray my old story, & re-write it… But how, i ask myself… Your blog really really helps sO much!!! TY!! I left u a 'story' on the blog from 2 days ago, or so right b4 I read this.
& my Mercury is Retrograde (in Aries, in the 8th house of Scorpio–astrology)…difficult for me to communicate in general, not just during these times. I actually feel more 'normal' sometimes during this pd, bc I feel like others r feeling in ways I do ALL the time!! TOtally!! Omg!
6-7 planets out of 9 are retrograde in my chart!! , something like that!!! & yes, "retrograde" means "backwards", but it also means "wide open"…my favorite astrologer CRJ, told me this verbatim. The astrology she does is based on Dr. Douglas Baker's Rising Sign astrology (aka "Souls' Purpose' astrology). (like ur card "wide Open", cool, huh? & that's Just what she told me in my chart from 2009, b4 ur cards came out! So, I really need to step up with my Virgo Rising sign! Aaa!!! what is the difference between service & servitude, Colette?
& learn to <3 myself. I just got my food stamps & am so happy. Was a straight A student most of my life, got 2 scholarships, lost em, got addicted to drugs, blah blah… my baby girl needs my attn… hopefully i can write a mssg that's more clear asap…. What nurtures us? & my Cancer Rising family? & who is REALLY NICE to us?? Oh, wow! Need to center myself.. love all of u. (been coloring/doodling cacoons, butterflies, etc for past 2 yrs, didn't know why=u r so NOT a phony!! friggin love you!/what u do.) & trying not to take things personally & come from too much of an egotistical pt of view… I <3 all.
U said practise radical forgiveness for others, patience for self, & re-write my story… How, in the heck r u so Right-on!! WOW! U r one awesome Cancer, Virgo Rising.. & ur Leo Moon is awesome, too! Ur imagine sparkles more than gold in the sunlight. I keep drawing moons & suns lately, too. Not great at art, but like to do it 😉
Blessings & xoxoxo
PS. sorry so scattered… same 'ol' story (hopefully soon, i can say that w/truth) , visit my past, know my story, scratch it & reverse it! & I dont wanna bite ur head off! or annoy you.
sending you kindness… Douglas Bakers’ work sounds interesting I will look it up. We all move forward a day at a time, a day at a time…you are communicating just fine xoxo
One exercise I have found particularly powerful for feeling safe and nurtured is getting into a particular meditation.
I envision myself on a beautiful beach, feeling the peace and alignment from being that tranquil place. I then look in the distance, and I see my child self walking towards me. She sits down and we sit in silence a while, and then I have a conversation with her. I assure her that she is never alone. I tell her the things that I wish I had had someone say to me when I was her age. I reassure her that no matter what, she is loved, safe, and protected.
Tears usually flow, and there was a period of time I did this on a daily basis. It’s really helped me heal some of the wounds from that little girl, and it’s opened up such abundance in my relationships now.
I have even had some of my clients do the same exercise, and they all report similar results. We call it going to have a visit with “little me.”
Sending you fast healing all the way from CA! <3
It is wild, wild, wild how the universe works… I read your recent blog yesterday… I have been witnessing in others, including my oldest (who turns 19 on Friday) the need to slow down… I had been thinking to myself ‘why can they not see it? It is clearly affecting their health, why can’t they make the connection?’ Of course I tell myself this ‘judgement’ is out of concern… I worry about their health and well-being… I think to myself that I have made a major concerted effort in my own life to slow down and allow for and make a priority my own healing and yet I am still being triggered, frustrated at why they don’t value themselves enough to slow down… then I come upstairs and my daughter has hung a stuffed turtle on my bedroom door knob with a string of beads… and to further drive home the point she puts that same turtle in my bed last night right next to my pillow… Of course I think about what this means for me… I spend so much time, effort and energy striving to get well… to get better… to be better… whatever definition of that I have placed on myself (or adopted)… And there it is… “Hiding in the sand is a lonely experience especially when you should be thinking about what’s nourishment for you.” I have been hiding so long .I forgot, or more likely not wanted to face… that part of the process includes connecting to others, to joy, communion, community, having fun… not taking life so seriously… so ‘nose to the grindstone’… not just giving but receiving love and support which seems to be where my major hang up is… my perceived ‘lack of’ in life seems to be pointing to the value I have placed on myself. I realized and have a new found compassion for that little girl inside me (miss general manager of the universe – as my friend would say 😉 that had made a decision very early on that it was somehow her responsibility to keep the family together and keep everything running smoothly for everyone, that everything that happened to everyone in her life was somehow intricately connected and tied to her and what she choose or failed to choose, that to be safe in this world she needed to micromanage every little aspect of her life and the people in it. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how much energy that takes 😉 I had a dream recently that my bff came to me to tell me I was going to have a little girl… I told her in no uncertain terms where to go. All 3 of my kids have been premature, the first two were only 5 weeks early and blessed to be healthy… my youngest was 13 weeks premature and not quite so lucky (although I acknowledge there were many unexpected ‘gifts’ in that experience that again redirected my life and in hindsight also pointed to the ‘you can’t control everything in your life’ concept… and thankfully, now you would never know he had such a rough start to life)… I know that dreams are very rarely literal representations… so when I shared my dream with her she expressed that she sees it more as my own little girl coming out to shine… we have been recently talking about coming out of our shell and “shinning our light”, etc. It is true that life still continues to happen and things still need to get done, bills need to be paid, etc. It would be nice for everything to come to a grinding halt so we could all just process, integrate, regroup and then move forward when we are confident that we have got it right or feel truly ready. Maybe that is a part of the beauty and perfection, learning to be flexible, not taking life so seriously, being able to adapt to changing circumstances and environments as they unfold with more flow, ease and grace… or being detached and viewing life from the perspective of the witness rather than the one in charge. I love your Monty Python reference… it reminds me of the guy (I think it is from The Meaning of Life) that is losing all his limbs in a sword fight when he says “it’s only a flesh wound!” It’s all in our perspective and the meanings we give to the things in our lives… 😉 lol. Thank you for sharing your continued musings… they are a great inspiration and a continued source of confirmation and support as we all continue in this dance together <3 <3 <3
Glad to hear you are on the mend and on the way to an excellent healthy you . It was amazing to me that the hospital I go to every month for treatments decided to put in a new computer system for the entire hospital right now . Do I have to say anymore ? What a nightmare of problems they have been having . The nurses were wondering why all the issues were happening so I mention mercury retrograde to them .we now have them looking up astrology for better understanding . I also mentioned Maya White as a good place to start . I have been very fortunate to take a class Maya taught about her deck of cards in a little shop in Winslow Maine .
The hospital bills are scary as during this retrograde the iv bag containing Meds has a slow leak ( never happened before ) cost 8 thousand or more a bag . Omg ! Who is covering that cost ? I get three of these bags every month .oh my . Saw a lot of strange things this week at the hospital ,but came away with the nurses looking up astrology that’s a step forward I would say . It’s not just the body , it’s the mind and soul too to be complete.
Take care everyone and be the turtle that sits patiently in the light to make its next move forward .
Blessings to all !
Nancy from Maine
thanx for sharing Nancy.. we all could use some turtle magic now. One day at a time all things will pass. xoxoxox
What do I carry from childhood? With Merc retro, it is somewhat hard to remember. The cars of the 40’s & 50’s. running crazy all day, all summer and taking a bath every nite and puttin on my cool seersucker baby doll pj.—and real cotton everything, for that matter. Great reasons for picnics and Sunday drives, and of course, homemade Halloween costumes and Thansgiving dinner and of course, Christmas that lasted 12 days, just like the song says. And the movies, the movie stars and did I mention the movies? And the homage pies and cakes all year long. Going to Catholic grade school with a guy named Vince who grw up to be better known as Alice Cooper. Sounds great, right?
Those were the simple 50’s—and my early childhood. The days before that rude awakening that usually happens at age 12. You know, while you still think everybody lives the same way.
From the open eyes time i carry with me always being broke. Mom always yelling at dad and dad always sleeping on the couch. Loosing the little there was and having to move. Never feeling accepted by my peers or loved by my mom. So, to quote Alice, “See my lonely life unfold, I see it everyday—-see my lonely life unfold when I go insane”. Or it felt like I would.
So when mom came to me and said to “make the most of this Christmas. It’s the last one as a family”. I did in perfect Gemini fashion. I ignored the hurt that I’d always felt. Then I promptly quit school, got a job and moved out.
That didn’t do much but take me to the perimeters of that slippery slope of the 60’s. there I made friends, some great some not so great. I was terribly raped twice and it was the second time that made me run to the mountains and hide with the shelter and aid from great friends. I couldn’t even hold a job for a long time. Scared.
There I re-introduced myself to the voices in my ear. The angels that always talked to me. The I re-graded my own Mercury, and discovered the depths of astrology and all the soothsayer realms of invocation.
Today I struggle with money, but I am Gemini and somehow am always blessed to land IN the canoe with a paddle. I have a soap opera love life, but I am Gemini so I am never really alone anyway. (And I talked about the tuff cookie and divorce before. There was a relationship of 7 yrs before that where that guy kidnapped our son and gained custody because of who his family was. I wanted to breakup with him for lots of reasons and all of them valid. And the child I gave up for adoption before that because I was so lost and 22)
In my life I have learned there is a higher power. I have found a happiness in the past by being thankful for the present. What I carry from my parents, they carried from theirs. They were not made aware as I have been. From a place of compassion I have discovered what shaped them and those before them, so I can imagine the generations before that. (Even though we’re descendant of the last King of Poland. So I really AM A PRINCESS. HA)
So I take the little girl for the re-grading whenever it is needed. Draw, paint, move my toys around. Talk to the kids, talk to the dogs and bird, and when mercury dictates the retrograde, I enter the silence for the longer span than that cup of morning joe.
There is quite a yo yo atmosphere with this retrograde, isn’t there? Can’t sit still and can’t get movin! Sometimes just hang there, spinning. Aaaauuuuurrrrrggggghhhhh!
Wow! It feels so good to read all of your sharings. I am a cancer and often feel this way. Having the whole world behave this way is a lot to deal with. Going back to family of origin. Yikes! How many more times? I guess it’s a work in progress kind of thing. I have forgiven my parents and yet my past is influencing my present as much as I would prefer it to be otherwise. When you write about boundaries, managing anger, security etc, it brings it all back that I did not learn any of that and never felt safe. It is very soothing to see that many struggle with the same issues. It is nice to notice that I am responding differently to friends wanting to guilt trip me. My birthday is in a week and I am looking forward to receiving whatever the universe has in store for me. Letting go is one of the scariest things for me and I am sure many can relate as you wrote Colette, everything has claw marks over it. lol Not having emotions would make life easier I think, but it also would make it poorer. Thank you Colette for all you do and sharing your light brightly. It feels good to know I am not the only one feeling this way. Much love to everyone! PS: Almost forgot, when I have any undesirable feelings come up like anxiety, I speak directly to my inner child and assure her that she is safe and that I always will be here for her and the feelings vanish as fast as they came up.
Hi again!
I bought another of your books and first opening pages were almost word perfect with a conversation I had with a vicar a couple of weeks previous. In the conversation I was explaining how I felt about religion and spirituality, it was a bold move as I don’t normally have the opportunity or desire to speak out about how I feel. It was one of the most interesting and validating conversations I’ve ever had. The vicar later pulled my Dad to one side to say how impressed he was and that he felt I was more spiritually evolved than he was despite me being only 26 and he a man of the cloth. I still find it odd as I feel I don’t know any real quantity of knowledge to deserve that. Anyhow, the book (Messages From Spirit: The Extraordinary Power Of Oracles, Omens And Signs) is soooo helpful and resonates with me. I am persevering with your weight loss book but I’m amazed at how much I self-sabotage and how much I want to stay with the familiar even if I’m unhappy with it. Bizarre! Truly when you look at things logically and objectively it takes some of the emotional power and knee jerk reactions away.
I haven’t got to the end of the book but could you point me in the direction about dreaming? I’m starting to dream in a rather coded way about events the next day or soon after. I been entertaining my family about them, and so far they had managed to brush it off as coincidence as I have. However, I jokingly told them of an odd dream about being on a serious soap opera set with a comedian which we all had a good laugh about as the two didn’t match nor would they ever coincide. Couple of days later I’m watching the television when an advert comes on for that comedian on set of that serious soap opera. Needless to say I was gobsmacked never mind anyone else! Totally unbelievable and perhaps a shove to take this more seriously. Anyway, I’ll be watching it when it airs to see how much featured in my dream.
Other than your amazing books and the inspiration you have given me- this blog has been helpful too. Seeing as injuring my foot twice didn’t stop me from being a busy bee, my car is now getting fixed in a garage. I literally cannot now leave my house (other than my lift to work) as I live quite rurally on my own (moved here 9 months ago) so my cocoon has hit a new low or should I say high? It’s hard to avoid your issues when you’re stuck facing them in the same 4 walls lol. I’m going to give this meditation and healing thing a whirl as I literally can’t do anything else -well I’m not going to tempt things and risk a power shortage! I do like my television and besides I want my car back 😀
Thanks for showing the way, Natasha
Colette,
I have been following you and I was lucky enough to meet you in LA earlier this year when you spoke with Glynis McCants at the Numerology Workshop! I love you!
Your latest blog on Mercury retrograde resonated with me a lot. I have deep rooted issues from my childhood, which dealt with money, not feeling loved (father) and fear of abandonment (mother). Both of my parents are Cancers, though my mother passed 15 years ago. She was my rock and my foundation, as the middle child she always made me feel loved and gave me the support and attention that I didn’t quite get from my dad. Growing up with an older brother, and a younger sister, I felt left out by my father. When my mom became ill, and died, I assumed the responsibilities she left behind. I became the caretaker of my older brother and younger sister, and became a contributing member of the household at age 15.
As I sit here with tears running down my face I realize that I struggle to accept that I am no longer a victim. My dad (whom I love deeply, but at the same time can’t stand because he is so old-school and un-evolved, sometimes I feel like I am talking to a caveman because he doesn’t get it!!!) continues his old behavioral patterns and this puts me in a really toxic mental state because I just want to withdraw, hide in my room, not talk to him, and just keep to myself. I realize that I am also reverting to old childhood behavior, I want to kick and scream and cry, but I know that wont get me anywhere but further into the dark abyss.
Part of my problem is learning to say no, and establishing clear boundaries with my father. I have a tremendous feeling of being taken advantage off, (my siblings have never contributed to the household vs. me who is EXPECTED to help and when I don’t it is clearly noticed and brought up as a problem). There is a situation brewing right now that is almost exactly like a situation that happened years ago that really put a wedge in my relationship with my brother and father. I know now that if I don’t handle this situation differently, the results are likely to be very similar than before.
Thank you for the unique perspective on mercury retrograde. With all of these unpleasant feelings, it can be tough navigating the murky waters. You’ve given me fresh eyes to review this situation and take a different approach. Thank you for being you!
Love and Light,
Elizabeth Zaldivar
its takes practice honey – one day at a time we all evolve and awareness is the first step xoxooxoxo thanx for writing love you right back! new blog will arrive by supper 2nite!
the Mercury Retrograde Cha Cha!! Oh wow does that ever describe my week! I don’t think you could have said it any better! Thank you for reminding me to be kind to myself. I had already drawn the Stuck in the Mud card for my query into what to expect this week. Time to pay attention and let the mud give me a beautiful relaxing mud bath so that I may come out of this MR Cha Cha well, healthy, and optimistic! And I promise to try to remember that I simply do not have to fix everything for everyone—:)