In a previous blog I talked about the familiar-but-often-unnoticeable use of body doubles for actors on the big and small screen.
So what would happen if we saw a “flawed” and imperfect naked body on screen? Would we look away? Would we feel a sense of connection to another human being who isn’t perfect but who dares to walk outside society’s comfort zones?
Would we stand up and cheer, or perhaps give a slow clap ovation from our seat on the couch?
In a recent review of the HBO series, ‘Girls’, the reviewer lambasted Lena Dunham’s character for being naked on screen even though her body is not studio-perfect. Now I love, love, love the show. It is smart, fresh, funny and a true pleasure to watch so I was especially interested in all of the chatter when I first heard about the article. Not surprisingly, the blogosphere was on fire and many female writers had a few choice words to share about their frustration with the reviewer’s perspective.
But was the original reviewer just stating what some of us think but don’t speak? Could it be we are uncomfortable looking at a naked body that isn’t our version of ideal?
Unfortunately we hold others to the same standard we hold ourselves – the pedestal of perfection. We compare ourselves to them and feel bad about ourselves. Even worse yet, we compare ourselves to others and dislike them.
We see them with the same flaws we don’t want to see in ourselves and we despise them for it. We look at someone who has a little extra cushion around the stomach, whose rear end is not round and perky, whose breasts are not standard all-attainable perfection and we judge. We judge harshly. We don’t like what we see in them because in essence we are looking at ourselves. We spend so many waking hours in the self-talk continuum of degrading ourselves for “letting myself go”, not having enough discipline, being weak, and being less than.
Have you ever uttered these words “are you kidding, you look great” to a friend who was down on herself for putting on a couple of pounds? Of course you have, we all have and we’ve meant it. We give her a break but we are not willing to do the same for ourselves.
We are not the living version of a Barbie doll and yet we still have fabulous lives. We love, we are loved and we have the opportunity to make changes in our lives every single day if we want to. Self-compassion is key to our own weight release and loving our bodies as they are. Just don’t forget to practice compassion for others who don’t look like you, and more importantly, who DO look like you!
Here is a link to the ‘Girls’ Executive Producer’s response to the reviewer’s article.
Do you watch the show? I’d love to hear your comments. Please share them here.
Love and blessings,